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To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Beachtastic · 23/08/2025 12:08

You've done a brilliant job, OP, you should be proud. What a transformation!

I can relate to having a DH who heaps scorn on such efforts (that's why he's my ex-DH!). Not sure what you do about that, maybe give him a coat of Dulux Brilliant White in the hope that it will improve him 🌞

Maybe he's hoping to put you off the house so that you move again to somewhere he likes? Still, a shitty way to go about it.

I love quarry tiles and think it would be a shame to cover them with anything but a rug. There are some decent washable ones available nowadays.

MikeRafone · 23/08/2025 12:07

he doesn’t want to ask FIL to help me straighten the cabinets is because he says FIL will criticise my work

He doesn't want to ask FIL as its really not good for dh to look so fucking lazy and inept

Lorrymum · 23/08/2025 12:06

Love it! The floor tiles are lovely. They look like the original terracotta tiles which can be restored without much effort and will last forever.

Pregnancyquestion · 23/08/2025 12:06

Pregnancyquestion · 23/08/2025 12:02

You’ve done a great job, it’s undeniably looking a lot better. I’d probably put some new Lino down and then it would make it look amazing. Honestly, wow, those cupboard doors look absolutely great, very clever of you. I have been looking at panelling an old cupboard and I just know it would be a wonky mess, so I’m very impressed by your efforts

Ive just seen that you like the quarry tiles - that’s fair enough, in that case you’ve finished. I’d add some greenery to your window sill and a blind but other than that well done

Pregnancyquestion · 23/08/2025 12:02

You’ve done a great job, it’s undeniably looking a lot better. I’d probably put some new Lino down and then it would make it look amazing. Honestly, wow, those cupboard doors look absolutely great, very clever of you. I have been looking at panelling an old cupboard and I just know it would be a wonky mess, so I’m very impressed by your efforts

Mydadsbirthday · 23/08/2025 11:59

SeasalterSadie · 23/08/2025 11:43

Amazing job!!!
A few plants on the windowsill and a rug over the tiles and boom!!

See I wouldn't add a rug. That would look a bit old fashioned IMO. If you really want to make it look new OP you should add some fresh shiny white floor tiles.

Mydadsbirthday · 23/08/2025 11:58

Oh sorry I just looked properly and see you have pulled up old lino from the floor. What you could do to make it look really sparkly and fresh is add a tiled floor in a neutral colour.

Mydadsbirthday · 23/08/2025 11:55

Great job! I would add a blind and plants. What are you going to do with the floor?

You should show your DH this thread.

Jaxhog · 23/08/2025 11:48

I think you've done a fantastic job! Especially as you had no help.

SeasalterSadie · 23/08/2025 11:43

Amazing job!!!
A few plants on the windowsill and a rug over the tiles and boom!!

Laura95167 · 23/08/2025 11:34

I love it.

TallMam · 23/08/2025 11:34

It looks lovely and you should be proud!! I think (some) men have form of not complimenting something they are unable to do so that you don't feel "superior" some other BS reason. They just can't lift their OH up. Keep at it, you'll make a beautiful home.

Sam9769 · 23/08/2025 11:32

I think that you have done a great job and your husband is a disgrace for not getting off his lazy backside to help. You should be working as a team. We're in a similar situation having moved 18 months ago and are we doing the house up.
Some work has been done by the trades like windows and plastering but we are doing what we can by ourselves. We found that many of the trades were trying to rip us off with their pricing with many asking the same questions about our situation (nothing to do with the job) trying to assess how much they could charge.
Anyway, when you do decide to purchase a kitchen, I would recommend DIY Kitchens direct. We had quotes from Wickes and Wren in and around £28K. We bought one from DIY Kitchens direct including a quartz work top for £11K delivered. All good quality which my husband is going to install as a DIY job.
They have two showrooms, one in Leeds and one in Oxfordshire where you can view the kitchens, We went to the Leeds showroom, all looked great and no hard sell. Enjoy your new home it sounds like a great buy!

SwedishEdith · 23/08/2025 11:28

I think it looks like you've done a brilliant job. Be proud of yourself and thank God for your lovely mum. I really love the floor - I'd try and keep that.

LackOfSleepCBA · 23/08/2025 11:20

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

Oh your kitchen looks lovely ❤️ I can see the effort you've put in. I really like it!

Your husband needs to stfu. If he can't be arsed to put in one iota of effort in helping decorate, doing any diy or arrange and book someone to come in and decorate/diy then he does not get a say in it or get to complain. He's rude and ungrateful. Moaning mingey whiner.

usedtobeaylis · 23/08/2025 11:20

You're husband is being a childish dickhead and he should be appreciating your hard work at the very least. Tell him to grow the the fuck up.

Your kitchen looks grand and fresh, well done 🙌

itsachickeninnit · 23/08/2025 11:20

Well done - I think it’s made a massive difference!

Currently looking round my very tired kitchen and wondering if this turd is worth polishing 🤦‍♀️

sandwichlover93 · 23/08/2025 11:15

It looks great. You should be proud of yourself. You might need a new DH by the sounds of things!

also to add, I don’t think it looked that bad before tbh but hard to tell from one pic, it probably looked more worn irl.

lovealongbath · 23/08/2025 11:14

You should be so proud of yourself, the kitchen looks fabulous, clean and fresh and I vote to keep the rustic floor tiles.

Animatic · 23/08/2025 11:11

You have done genuinely a fantastic job. One thing to add (not sure if possible or can be done cheap) is to change colour of the flour to male it greyish as it is now clashing with the rest. In any case, it is 8 out of 10 in terms of transformation

Nobumsonthetable · 23/08/2025 11:07

Congratulations OP that’s a bloody great job. I am skint and doing up a house too so this is right up my street 😂. You’ve made a great change. I’d cover the floor with something lighter and add a few plants et voila.
I know how hard you have worked, I’ve done quite a few of these jobs over the years. My exh was a dick about my similar kitchen makeover, one of the many reasons he’s an ex.
more seriously your husband sounds like a dick. What are his redeeming features?

VaseofViolets · 23/08/2025 11:04

If your DH isn’t willing to do the work that needs doing, he doesn’t have the luxury of criticising you.

It looks brilliant OP, so much nicer. I know what hard work it is!

HazelCritic · 23/08/2025 11:03

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:44

I would love a new blind. The issue is I would need to drill the fixings in and I don’t have the correct drill for that. A “no drill” blind would work but they are about £140 for that size of window and I’m not sure that’s the best place to spend that money.

I’ve spent days trying to re-hang and straighten the cabinets myself using YouTube but they’re so old I can’t do it. My FIL would definitely be able to do it as he’s hung doors for us before but of course DH doesn’t want to ask him and I actually think a handyman would charge quite a bit as it will be time consuming.

New lighting would be great but would, again, need FIL’s help to fit them.

I think you've done a brilliant job! Very impressive. I don't think the slightly wonky cabinet doors matter really, they aren't too noticeable. But if they do bother you, can't you ask your FiL yourself for a hand? Explain you've been teaching yourself DIY and would he mind teaching you how to hang doors etc? He might be really flattered!

And balls to your husband.

HardworkSendHelp · 23/08/2025 11:02

You are some woman for one woman! Well done OP looks so much better. Ignore your husband!

fknEndlessCycle · 23/08/2025 11:01

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:44

I would love a new blind. The issue is I would need to drill the fixings in and I don’t have the correct drill for that. A “no drill” blind would work but they are about £140 for that size of window and I’m not sure that’s the best place to spend that money.

I’ve spent days trying to re-hang and straighten the cabinets myself using YouTube but they’re so old I can’t do it. My FIL would definitely be able to do it as he’s hung doors for us before but of course DH doesn’t want to ask him and I actually think a handyman would charge quite a bit as it will be time consuming.

New lighting would be great but would, again, need FIL’s help to fit them.

Do you live near a library of things? You can rent drills for quite cheap

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