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To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
humanassy · 23/08/2025 18:27

For your door tweaks

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
Donsyb · 23/08/2025 18:21

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:44

I would love a new blind. The issue is I would need to drill the fixings in and I don’t have the correct drill for that. A “no drill” blind would work but they are about £140 for that size of window and I’m not sure that’s the best place to spend that money.

I’ve spent days trying to re-hang and straighten the cabinets myself using YouTube but they’re so old I can’t do it. My FIL would definitely be able to do it as he’s hung doors for us before but of course DH doesn’t want to ask him and I actually think a handyman would charge quite a bit as it will be time consuming.

New lighting would be great but would, again, need FIL’s help to fit them.

Can’t you ask FIL yourself?

OnePoliteCat · 23/08/2025 18:19

OP, this is lovely. Honestly, it's so nice. I love your quarry tiles (I have similar in my dining room) and the colour and look of the units and handles suits them. If you are pleased, then enjoy your work and stuff anyone else. This has really reassured / inspired me, as I'm having to move from my nice "done" house to somewhere cheaper (getting divorced), and I know I'll have to do lots of DIY, so it's fab to see how you've made such a difference on a budget. Go you xx

ThistleTits · 23/08/2025 18:17

@Malahala it looks much nicer, fresh and clean. Well done on your hard work. He's basically a lazy sod.

Spinmerightroundbaby · 23/08/2025 18:16

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

I think it might be the flooring OP. The before flooring looks much better than the state of the flooring now. That’s probably what people are focusing on as it stood out to me right away. For a couple of hundred, get some cheap lino and cover the floor.

Charlize43 · 23/08/2025 18:12

Irrespective of the outcome you should congratulate yourself for:
(a) Not being afraid to take on a challenge.
(b) Learning new DIY skills which will stand you in good stead when things need repairing, which will save you money.
(c) Improving your surroundings and environment.

Here's to you! 🍷
Well done!

Airspice · 23/08/2025 18:12

Omg It looks much better, well done! You’ve really done a great job ☺️

JennyBG · 23/08/2025 18:11

It looks amazing!…and well done you!
As for your husband, he needs to take a long hard look at himself. You weren’t asking him to do it “all”, he could have helped, even if it was only holding tools for you. I’m wondering though, why didn’t you ask your FIL yourself? He probably would have loved to have helped you, if only to show his son what an idiot he was being.
I hope you’re very proud of yourself for doing such a fantastic job…I know “I’m” proud of you 👍🏻

Wombatboymom · 23/08/2025 18:10

Oh bless you you’ve done a fantastic job job and I think it looks lovely! Sorry they are raining on your parade. Hope you enjoy it!

vickylou78 · 23/08/2025 18:03

You've done a great job, looks so much better

BeAzureRaven · 23/08/2025 17:59

It looks very nice and I love the tile painted white! Your husband is rude.

Bunny17 · 23/08/2025 17:53

Well done you... It will tide you over, great idea 😊

SwedishEdith · 23/08/2025 14:59

Who the hell voted YABU?

Looking again, I'd paint the walls something warmer and a little darker than the current colour to tie in with the floor. A sage green would look nice.

ifionlyhadacat · 23/08/2025 13:56

Bravo OP, you've done a great job and you should be proud of yourself. In fact that style of door has been in and out of trend for the last 30 years so in a way it's timeless, just not this year's fad. And those quarry tiles are gorgeous. I did the same thing when I bought my first home in 1991 and it was just right . In fact I was astonished to find all my clumsy DIY work I had done was still there when it came up on the market recently ( for 10 times the price I'd sold it at.)
When we installed our kitchen 20 years ago i our present house, I wanted a country farmhouse type old looking slate floor as the original part of our house is a stone built 200+ year old stone cottage. We got the rest from ikea, with oak doors with sort of ridges. I laid the slate slabs as my husband wouldn't have done them in a random way and I didn't want it to look new, but imperfect and worn. We got some money recently and replaced our counter tops with granite , and changed the wall tiles and extractor. When it came to the cupboards, we couldn't find anything that we liked half as much as those that had been there for 20 years. So we refurbished a couple of the insides and left them exactly as they were. When people come into the kitchen, the usual reaction is "Wow!" - to 20 year old cupboards!
I'm afraid I think your DH needs to give his head a wobble.

Loulabelle1234 · 23/08/2025 13:55

Op you've done a brilliant job, honestly if you are pleased don't worry about what others think xx

namechangedforvalidreasons · 23/08/2025 13:07

Your husband sounds a bit of a spoiled baby. I think it’s a lot better!

S251 · 23/08/2025 13:04

You’ve genuinely done a good job and it looks much better!! Yes long term there is more I would do but to make it look better in the meantime well done!!

AcquadiP · 23/08/2025 12:51

I think it looks great - well done! Infact, you've inspired me to tackle mine. I'm living with an old kitchen because when I bought my house I had enough money to put in new flooring (vinyl and carpets) and either a new bathroom (with a shower) or a new kitchen. I chose to get the bathroom done which I'm really happy with. Since then I've replaced the boiler and my car. I don't have the money to have the kitchen refitted at the moment but I might just try and do what you have. Ignore your husband, he should be proud of you!

Friendlygingercat · 23/08/2025 12:38

Like many posters I agree you have done a good job with the materials at hand. And yes a nice blind or some plants would help to brighten it up and personalize it. It should certainly last until you can afford a professional job.

Cabinfever20 · 23/08/2025 12:33

Great job. It looks so much better. Your husband is embarrassed he couldn’t or wouldn’t do it himself.

DogMa73 · 23/08/2025 12:28

Looks much better, well done for tackling it ! I’m thinking maybe it needs some drama to ‘feel’ more different and elevated from previously. Maybe paint the walls / tiles a darker stone colour (slightly darker shade than the cabinets, to add warmth) or even a deeper earthy shade ? Add some plants in plain dark pots, windowsill and maybe counter. I would definitely add a large rug featuring all colours of wall / cupboard / worktops / walls, to pull everything together and create impact. Can you afford to change the lighting to something more modern ? That’s just what I would do - I’ve had to do temporary tart ups on many a kitchen due to budget restrictions myself. Your DH is probably annoyed that he cannot provide your dream kitchen right now and that may be another reason behind his thoughtless comments - he may never admit he likes it even if you clearly have made it look lovely and liveable with !

Poppinjay · 23/08/2025 12:21

Your husband is a dick.

Does he always treat you like this?

You out the effort into making the kitchen the best you could. He says he isn't happy but is also blocking the routes to making it look better, i.e. asking family/friends who has the skills to help.

Is he getting pleasure out of putting you down?

Does he feel threatened by you achieving something he couldn't be bothered to do?

Why doesn't he care enough about your feelings to at least make an effort to be positive?

I suspect this isn't the only way in which he treats you badly.

FeministThrowingAPrincessParty · 23/08/2025 12:17

It looks so much better OP, well done! I wouldn’t have known where to start. As a PP said maybe a plant in a coloured pot for a pop of colour. Your husband doesn’t know how lucky he is!

Funnywonder · 23/08/2025 12:15

Bit late to the party, but I think you’ve done a fantastic job. You should be incredibly proud of yourself.

MikeRafone · 23/08/2025 12:09

If id done what you've achieved - id be proud of myself and I think it actually looks good - you've not polished a turd but made something look pleasant.

Get a screw driver and YouTube and learn yourself how to sort out hanging the cupboard doors

don't doubt yourself and remember your the one promoting to your children what a mum can do