Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Mathmomum · 23/08/2025 19:22

Q1: how much do you charge?
Q2: can you work in the north west?
I dream of your expertise.

billandtedsexcellentadventure · 23/08/2025 19:19

It looks gorgeous. Love the floor! But I’d add a line or something at the window to just set it off. You’ve done a brilliant job and should be really proud of yourself.

EH1768 · 23/08/2025 19:19

It looks amazing. If some of the cupboards aren’t hanging correctly , or other small things, get a handyman in to have a look via Taskrabbit or similar, and hopefully they can sort that small element.

CherryRipe1 · 23/08/2025 19:18

I love it! Mines not too dissimilar and everyone likes it. Bollox to hubby. If you're going to keep it for a few years then just do a few tweaks here and there.

Hmm1234 · 23/08/2025 19:16

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

Once you change the colour of the flooring even paint over them? It will look even better

SimplyAFolly · 23/08/2025 19:14

Cracking Job 👌, hubby should get an evening job for the extra funds if not happy, needs to pull his finger out.
Hinges are adjustable, so doors will straighten up, just go to YouTube to see how its done.

CyanMaker · 23/08/2025 19:14

So sorry that your husband doesn't appreciate your talent and hard work. I particularly like your countertops and new hardware on the cabinets. Some women would have moaned about the kitchen but you got busy and did the best you could with what you had to work with.

ANGIEPANGY77 · 23/08/2025 19:12

You've done a fantastic job. I wish I had your skill set.

wfhwfh · 23/08/2025 19:08

I can’t believe what you’ve done yourself - I think it looks amazing.

Your husband sounds like a petulant child. It’s bad enough he hasn’t helped you - but not even to congratulate you is unforgivable.

It sounds like you managed to get a spacious home in a great area for a discount price and now you’re making it look fantastic.

croydon15 · 23/08/2025 19:07

You done a great job and l would be so annoyed at the lack of support from DH.

k8jr · 23/08/2025 19:06

I think the updates look fab.
I think your husband sounds like he's being deliberately difficult. He's so lazy he can't even call his friend to see if he could possibly help, yet you've managed all this. Ugh, he needs to wind his neck in.
Also well done for getting a house for 200k less than asking! Wow!

PrettyPickle · 23/08/2025 19:05

Your husband is a misery because he couldn't be bothered to see the potential and you could! It looks really good, just needs finishing off (but all in good time) with lino and a blind.

If your husband doesn't like the house, he maybe one of those that just moans until he gets his own way ! Head up lady, your kitchen rocks!

JennyFromTheBlock238 · 23/08/2025 19:05

It looks absolutely brilliant - and anytime you'd like to come and do mine, my address is..... 😉

MrsTaytodarling · 23/08/2025 19:00

I think its lovely and you did a great job!!!!

MayaPinion · 23/08/2025 18:55

You’ve done a brilliant job. I love a fixer upper. It’s a blank canvas just waiting for you to make it your own. The problem with ‘perfect’ homes is that you don’t feel justified making changes even if they’re not quite to your taste. When we moved into our ‘forever’ home 17 years ago it wasn’t even plumbed for a washing machine. Only 3 families had lived in it in almost 100 years. It still had all the great art nouveau features but needed a tonne of work we couldn’t immediately afford to do.

The kids went to fantastic schools, lived near all their friends, and loved growing up here. They didn’t care for one minute about the tomato soup coloured carpet in the dining room or the fake walnut wood paneling in the hall (it was oak underneath - bonus!). It is still a work in progress, but we live in a lovely community. You will grow into this fantastic family home 💕

Trovindia · 23/08/2025 18:54

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:51

This is probably the heart of it. He said yes to this house because he felt he couldn’t say no.
With our previous house, he backed out on the day of exchange because he felt it was too much work and we ended up buying the house he wanted instead - I didn’t like the house, we bought it fully done up from a developer as it was what DH wanted. But I got over the fact that it wasn’t my first choice and we were there for 7 years. We ended up losing money when we sold it because it’s hard to make anything on done up houses. He also agreed to the house because around that time he finally admitted after leading me on for several years that he didn’t want a second child which absolutely devastated me. So yeah, he probably owed me one!

I feel like you'd be a lot happier without him, to be honest. He sounds an absolute drain on you.

Daisymay2 · 23/08/2025 18:53

Massive improvement. Well done

Spookyspaghetti · 23/08/2025 18:51

Another one saying it looks great. You can get some very cheap shear and/or net curtains at the moment. Adding a curtain would instantly make the whole room feel more ‘done.’ Same with the lights, you can get quite a cheap light fixtures and add a pendant light or something with a bit more character.

Olive567 · 23/08/2025 18:49

Well done OP, you've done an amazing job. I love the floor tiles - they add additional authentic personality to the room and it would be a pity to cover them.

Nowaynowayhose · 23/08/2025 18:47

Oh you’ve done an absolutely brilliant job. I did the same to my kitchen cupboard doors too. Makes such a difference!

For a Nancy Mayers aesthetic…. definitely a rug. A scallop jute one or a faded vintage one would be good. A cafe style curtain (easy to make from scrap material and a tension rod). Plants on the window sill. Dries flowers in the corner etc
Don’t let your husband get you down, his attitude absolutely stinks.
I agree about fixing crooked doors, it’s very hit and miss! Can’t you ask your FIL yourself?

fetchacloth · 23/08/2025 18:46

I think it looks great OP, it's given me inspo for my kitchen.
Your DH is probably now feeling inadequate but don't make his problem yours 😁

TicTac80 · 23/08/2025 18:44

I think it looks wonderful! Well done! I hope you feel really proud of yourself for the amazing and hard work you have done!

FWIW I love the quarry tiles. I was thrilled when I found we had them in my place (under a load of knackered lino). Mine are in my downstairs hallway, kitchen and bathroom. Rest of my floors are the original wooden floor boards. My tiles aren’t perfect but I don’t care. One day I might get someone to come in and get them looking tip top (I’m scared of ruining them!), but they’re functional and I love that they’re on show.

Tresamour · 23/08/2025 18:41

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

It looks so much nicer! You've done a great job and should be proud. I think your husband sounds threatened by your talent, to be honest! X

Modompodom · 23/08/2025 18:38

It's fabulous! Well done!

Dodgethis · 23/08/2025 18:37

I think this looks great! Well done!