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To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
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9
Bunny65 · 24/08/2025 01:48

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:51

This is probably the heart of it. He said yes to this house because he felt he couldn’t say no.
With our previous house, he backed out on the day of exchange because he felt it was too much work and we ended up buying the house he wanted instead - I didn’t like the house, we bought it fully done up from a developer as it was what DH wanted. But I got over the fact that it wasn’t my first choice and we were there for 7 years. We ended up losing money when we sold it because it’s hard to make anything on done up houses. He also agreed to the house because around that time he finally admitted after leading me on for several years that he didn’t want a second child which absolutely devastated me. So yeah, he probably owed me one!

Ask fil yourself for help to straighten the cupboards, you don’t need anyone’s permission.

BlondieMuver · 24/08/2025 01:44

That's a great job. But the kitchen definitely isn't 40yrs old!

I couldn't be doing with your dh, he sounds like a proper PITA!

RubyMentor · 24/08/2025 00:19

Definite improvement

Empress13 · 24/08/2025 00:08

You’ve done a fabulous job give yourself a big pat on the back !

Slave123 · 24/08/2025 00:04

You have done a fantastic job want to come to Scotland and sort my kitchen out looks better then it did before. You should be praising yourself not thinking what other people are saying WELL DONE

anon666 · 23/08/2025 23:44

It looks absolutely great. You've updated it a lot from where it was.

Dh and Mil sound like a pair of mood hoovers. Ignore them. And good on your mum for buying you the appliances. 🥰

Amybelle88 · 23/08/2025 23:10

I think it’s lovely! And I don’t think it looks ten years old, either! He’s an arse. You done amazing! Genuinely - not just saying that to make you feel better.

the5thgoldengirl · 23/08/2025 23:08

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

DirtyBird · 23/08/2025 22:57

That’s amazing! I wish I had the patience and perseverance to do a makeover like that. Your husband is being a prick, and don’t let other make you feel bad or down they are just snobs. I hate mean people like that. Be proud of your accomplishment!

VK456 · 23/08/2025 22:21

Looks good to me. I’d be very happy with it.
Well done!

SteinerMom · 23/08/2025 22:16

I've been putting this off for years. You have inspired me to get started.
It's such a shame your DH is being so uncooperative.

suzyq54 · 23/08/2025 22:13

You’ve done a great job, well done.
Ignore your husband, he can’t have an opinion if he hasn’t lifted a finger to help you.
It would be better with a splash of colour though.
Maybe a nice blind with a matching rug and a few plants and a bright kettle?

Franjipanl8r · 23/08/2025 22:01

You’ve done the best you can with the time, money and skills you have which is fantastic. Is it a big kitchen transformation? No it isn’t sorry.

Camomilecrumpet · 23/08/2025 22:01

Not just being nice, this is genuinely an amazing transformation. The before looks a bit like a student flat, the after is a cute country kitchen kind of look and definitely wouldn’t make me think it needs doing up any time soon. I agree with the pp that a blind and some plants would make it.

HellieWelly · 23/08/2025 22:01

It looks great. It’s also encouraged me to do something similar, so thank you! Our house has an old Ikea kitchen which was in when we bought it in 2008. Did you do the door panels yourself or buy pre-made and attach them? If you did them yourself - even more impressive!

Lilactimes · 23/08/2025 21:48

Well done!! Looks great you should feel really proud xx

Lilywisp · 23/08/2025 21:44

I think it looks great…be proud !

Hammy65 · 23/08/2025 21:41

What a difference! You’ve done a really good job there 😊! Your kitchen looks great!

chipshopElvis · 23/08/2025 21:37

It looks loads nicer now OP. Well done, it does not look old!!

FizzingAda · 23/08/2025 21:35

When we bought out house forty years ago it had one grotty kitchen unit, we couldn't afford to install a new kitchen. I went to the DIY store where they had odd end of line units going for peanuts, we bought some and fitted them, I,painted all the doors with textured paint to cover the different grooved finishes, painted them all cream and bought wooden knobs which I painted red(the Lino was red). It looked fresh and the cabinets looked the same if you didn't look too closely, and lasted a few years til we could afford a bespoke kitchen.
just ignore the naysayers and be proud of what you've done, it looks great.

27pilates · 23/08/2025 21:34

That looks great OP. Well done.

Shessweetbutapsycho · 23/08/2025 21:34

Amazing job 🌟

HereForTheFreeLunch · 23/08/2025 21:31

That's really good OP. I was in the same situation 20 years ago - all I did was get some stickers for the tiles. Maybe my bar is very low but I think it looks better and if it uplifts your mood when you see it, it's worth it.

Pres11 · 23/08/2025 21:30

It looks so much better! Well done! I’ve done this twice - in two different houses, because my life is ‘making do, because I can’t afford’ but you be happy with what you’ve achieved! You are the one that lives there and you’ve made it nicer for you. X

LovesToMunchPlants · 23/08/2025 21:24

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

You've done a great job considering you're on a budget - you've totally modernised it and got rid of the dated look. Don't compare it to a new kitchen - that will come - just view the improvement you've made! I think it looks really good and you should be proud of yoir achievement