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To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
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9
Aperolspritzoclock · 22/08/2025 12:05

That is fantastic .I wouldnt know where to begin - our kitchen desperately needs updating but I wouldnt have a clue how.You should be so proud of the improvement> Well done!

Letsbe · 22/08/2025 12:04

Its your husband needs renovating now you have done the kitchen,

NCReceptor · 22/08/2025 12:03

It looks wonderful - you should be so proud of yourself. Ask your FIL yourself - I think he will be gruff but secretly chuffed to help too - and proud of that you have done.

Smallsalt · 22/08/2025 12:03

Both your before and after are better than my kitchen!
You have done a great job.

Titasaducksarse · 22/08/2025 12:03

It looks great but I couldn't cope with the doors not hanging properly. You've definitely refreshed it.
We moved into a house where the kitchen had been put in a dodgy lean to utility to create more living space.
12 months we coped with this whilst we saved and then had an extension. We had no oven so looked on Gumtree and picked one up for £5! Honestly how we managed in what literally was a few units and sink cobbled together but we did! I miss those days of making do then seeing the fruits of your labour. Literally in my case as OH fitted the new kitchen lol

Giggorata · 22/08/2025 12:03

EuclidianGeometryFan · 22/08/2025 11:40

So what was your DH doing whilst you were doing all this work?
Did he take on all the routine housework? Cook the meals whilst you were working on the house?
Or is he just a lazy whinger?

What would have been his actual solution? Magic up the money? He gets a second job to pay for the kitchen he wants? Or does he just dump his complaining onto you and expect you to work miracles? Does he think you should have got a second job? Taken out a big loan?
Does he actually come up with positive suggestions or is he one of those people who is just a drain on everyone else?

Sit him down and have it out with him. You should not put up with this.

Agree with the above thoughts.👆🏻
You've done an amazing job and all those hours of work have paid off.
It looks smashing!
I know what it's like trying to do a place up a bit on a shoestring budget and you have to be creative and resourceful - as you have been. And also remember that Rome wasn't built in a day… sometimes you just have to do a bit here and there.
Your husband is being very negative and unkind.h

YYURYYUCICYYUR4ME · 22/08/2025 12:03

We have always had to buy homes that needed work and that means not putting us into more debt and doing what we can, when we can afford it, so we can now decorate, tile, plumbing, woodwork, change blown glazing units.... so we've done the same, rubbed and scrubbed, painted and glued and that includes painting kitchen units!! You've done a great job and given the kitchen a happy face. I happily live with 'stuff' that needs updating, to avoid stressing about money and a house is more than the fittings, it's how you live in it. Great job.

Hotmess101 · 22/08/2025 12:03

So confused by people suggesting putting lino over gorgeous terracotta tiles - am I missing something?? We’re about to rip our nasty plastic stuff out and have bought tiles to replace it with?!

@Malahala you have done an amazing job. I’m awful at looking closely at details so may have missed the odd patch job or wonky door but to me it looks great!

Tabitha005 · 22/08/2025 12:03

You've done a fabulous job, OP!

Instead of a blind, I'd hang some lightweight cafe curtains on a pole you can adhere to the window reveal with adhesive... however, you're clearly super-handy, so treating yourself to a spanking new super-drill that can handle anything you throw at it will never be money badly spent.

And, when I'd got the drill, I'd also put up a shelf over the window to put plants on.

As far as the quarry tiles are concerned, try some patio cleaning solution on them or paint over them with garage floor paint.

TheBeesTrees · 22/08/2025 12:02

I agree with the others that the window area needs softening, either a blind or maybe a shelf above with trailing plants if you don't want a blind. The tiles will be fab too!

You should be so proud of yourself for doing all of that!

Agapornis · 22/08/2025 12:02

It looks great! Well done.
You could rehang the doors that won't close properly - replace the hinges with soft close ones, they're not that expensive. Looks like you have 15 cabinets? They sell 20 hinges for less than £40 and you only need 1 per door.

Don't get a new kitchen, get a divorce from your lazy, incompetent, unappreciative husband.

Gettingfitorbust · 22/08/2025 12:02

Great job OP, it looks really good.
We cleaned up our quarry tiles when we took up vinyl, it was a lot of work but I was really pleased with the result.

HowMuchShouldBePaid · 22/08/2025 12:02

I very rarely post , but you have done exactly what I have done / would do. It looks miles better , is it a brand new kitchen , well no , but you have very cleverly worked with what you have and put in masses of time / effort/ thought and the result is fab !!!

Its the "easy" option ( in many ways) to just get someone in to do it ( not that you have that option anyway) you've done the hard option.

shame on your DH , my exh was like this , wouldn't lift a finger to sort something unless it could be , in his eyes, "perfect" but then criticises what I did when nothing else was being done.

For instance , new tiles was the best option for my bathroom , but I've had painted tile / used tile stickers for years and I'm happy with it. does my bathroom it look as good as it could ? , no, does it look miles better than it did ? , yes.

its brilliant what you have done.

sweetpea85 · 22/08/2025 12:02

Your ‘d’h is the turd not the kitchen! Awesome work.

MarilynSays · 22/08/2025 12:01

the worktops look so good! I am Jealous! @gamerchick hit the nail on the head. Your DH needs to step up or shut up! Enjoy your lovely kitchen xxx

Charlottejbt · 22/08/2025 12:01

As a former private tenant who has made do with some really awful badly fitted broken down MDF kitchens, I have to say that your "before" looks totally fine! That's not to deny that you've done a great job sprucing it up though. Well done!

Mewling · 22/08/2025 12:01

The kitchen looks fantastic. Your DH is the real problem, he sounds enormously entitled and obviously used to getting his own way. I think the kitchen is a mask for what’s really going on here.

Jackrabbit22 · 22/08/2025 12:00

Amazing job! I would be inviting everyone I know round to admire my kitchen if I'd done that. Agree with most posters that a blind would be the finishing touch if you could manage it somehow. Would FIL be able to help you with that? He should have passed on some DIY skills to his son! I'm not impressed with your critical husband - how dare he?! He has done nothing to help. I'm cross just typing this!

MrCottersJauntyCap · 22/08/2025 12:00

I would ask for whatever help you can. Ignore your Dh's opinion. He has to get over the fact that you cannot afford to have the kitchen of your dreams right now. The makeover you have done is incredible, classic Shaker.

Youtube is a brilliant resource and if you can't get the doors to hang right from instructions there then ask FIL or whoever else may be able to lend to hand.

You do need a talk with your DH about sucking the joy out of everything.

EnterFunnyNameHere · 22/08/2025 12:00

I think it looks fab OP - you should be really proud.

I think you also need to:

A) have a really direct conversation with your DH that you both agreed to but this house, you can't afford to get everything professionally done and its childish of him to be effectively sulking about it forever. He's a grown up, he needs to get past this and move on. Feel free to point out that you weren't a mardy arse to him the whole time when you lived in a house you didn't love.

B) reach out to FIL yourself and say you're trying your best to make the house nicer but would really appreciate his help with XYZ.

That said, what you've said about your DH messing you around re previous houses and number of children doesn't sound good... are you basically happy in your relationship/life? Is this the tip of a bigger iceberg?

justasking111 · 22/08/2025 12:00

Cleaning up quarry tiles. Go to builders merchants I can't recall the name of the stuff. You'll probably need mask, goggles, gloves, doors and windows open.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 22/08/2025 11:59

@Malahala you have done a good job and remember rome was not built in a day!! if dh doesnt want to learn diy the so be it, he can get some part time work at night to earn pennies for the major work. does he not know any mates in the trades who can give you a wee bit help? I have learned o do anything and everything, apart from dealing with water, gas and some electric jobs even underfloor heating. perfect tiling 4 bathrooms, laminate flooring, papering painting, washing machine repairs. teach yourself as you go. x pretty sure your fil would help you if you just asked!!!

Eddielizzard · 22/08/2025 11:59

Can you ask FIL yourself? Do you have that kind of relationship? I bet he'd be a great asset and with luck, teach you a load of DIY.

Tandora · 22/08/2025 11:58

You've done a fantastic job!! Looks a million times nicer. No idea what's wrong with your DH/ MIL/ friend.

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:58

BigSondsPieceBox · 22/08/2025 11:33

Fabulous!

How did you get on with the tile paint? If you'd recommend whatever brand you used, could you share the name?

My elderly pink harvest tiles need to go!

I used Rust-oleum bathroom tile paint and love it! This review helped me decide to try it -

OP posts: