Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
C152 · 22/08/2025 14:00

Alltheyellowbirds · 22/08/2025 12:59

Why should she put new lino down when she has gorgeous original quarry tiles? It’s a period house, they are absolutely in keeping and don’t need to be covered up. Plus, lino would be another expense.

Edited

Ok, you and the OP are welcome to that opinion, as I am to mine. And the OP asked for brutally honest opinions. I don't like the tiles and at least two are missing/damaged. I think this impacts the look of the kitchen overall. I also don't think they go well with the kitchen shown in either the before or after photo.

Edited to remove the query about the period house, as I have just seen the OP's update that the tiles are original and she's looking into restoring them. As I said in my previous post, it's whether the changes make the OP happy that matters, regardless of what any of us say/think.

millymae · 22/08/2025 13:58

You can come and update mine OP - you’ve done a brilliant job.
Some people find it hard to be nice about other people’s efforts and all the more so when they know you have done better than they could have done.
Your OH might well have preferred a show house to move into that needed nothing doing - I’m sure he’s not alone in that, but I have no idea why he’s being so mealy mouthed about everything you’ve done to make the kitchen better. It seems to me that him and his mum are tarred with the same brush, but hopefully his reluctance to say anything nice has more to do with him feeling guilty that he hasn’t lifted a finger to help with the transformation than what he really thinks. Whatever the reason his mum should be embarrassed that she has brought up such an ungrateful and lazy (so far as work in the house is concerned) son.

mumuseli · 22/08/2025 13:58

Well done - big respect to you as I wouldn’t know how to do any of that myself! x

illfittingtrousers · 22/08/2025 13:57

It looks cute. Your DH sounds like a bit of a plank.

I think you should get a hanging plant or a tall counter top plant to break up the squareness and add a bit of colour. I like rugs in kitchens, and you can get machine washable ones. You’ve got room next to the window to hang a little picture, opposite side to your new plant.

I’ve ordered and installed loads of blinds from blinds2go. Very easy. If you don’t have access to a drill, see if there’s a tool library near you (even small towns often have them) or ask FIL (fuck your DH not granting you permission for this) as maybe he has a drill if he is the god of DIY

You’ve done a great job! Don’t let him being a Debbie downer cloud your judgement here. Just take the piss out of him every time he says anything negative. Do your best Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen impression and just repeat what he has said back to him every time. Every single time. Or the voice of the through the keyhole guy, if that’s easier.

Littlejellyuk · 22/08/2025 13:57

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:37

Thanks everyone. You’re all making me a bit tearful - it’s taken over a month of finding time at work and at weekends here and there to do it plus 10s of hours spent on YouTube trying to learn how to do stuff. In all that time I haven’t had a single bit of proper praise from anyone (except my mum) and it was really getting me down.

@Daisyvodka i am upset at my DH and we had an argument about it last night (hence my post). But I’m more upset about the fact that he clearly thinks it’s not great and the reason he doesn’t want to ask FIL to help me straighten the cabinets is because he says FIL will criticise my work.

It’s sad I had to ask you all for your opinion but I was starting to feel silly and worrying I’ve developed DIY blindness!

I removed the old lino as it was damaged and they were covering the original quarry tiles. The tiles are also damaged, there’s a lot of newspaper print and glue residue on them. I’m currently researching how to get all of that off and try to get them looking nice without spending a lot of money!

He said your FIL would criticise your work... just like he has done then? Wow, like father like son. Blimey 😠
I know men like this, everything has to be 'perfect' yet they are far from 'perfect' themselves and usually project. 💩

Well I think you have done absolutely marvellous 👏 😍 🙌
Please take the many (well deserved) compliments from these MN's who are in agreement that you have done brilliant. 🙏
Oh and listen to your mum, she is not wrong, she is a smart lady 😉

Harrysmummy246 · 22/08/2025 13:57

I'd just get rid of the 'D'H and crack on. You're doing a great job and I suspect he's feeling his ego being bruised by a capable woman

1apenny2apenny · 22/08/2025 13:53

OP you’ve done a great job. Just start saying ’yes I did it all myself and I love it, I think it looks great’. I also find other people stingy in their comments of things I’ve done but I let it wash over me now.

GleisZwei · 22/08/2025 13:52

It really does look better, and will be nicer to be in until you can get a whole new set up. Well done. We really need updated units at some point, but have been doing other things in various parts of the house just now (decorating, carpets etc) - a new wall colour and kitchen flooring has made it much nicer for the time being, and I might get some nicer drawer knobs too. 👍

Dannydevitoiloveyourart · 22/08/2025 13:52

I've done a couple of crude mockups (images attached) to add:
-peel and stick tiles/lino sheet flooring
-roman blinds
-ceiling light shades
-a plant by the window

Really shows that you are very nearly there, and how much you've already improved things. Ask your FIL to help with these finishing touches and enjoy your nearly new kitchen!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
Momtotwokids · 22/08/2025 13:52

Tell your dh to get a second job to pay for a new kitchen.

Littlejellyuk · 22/08/2025 13:51

Bloody hell, you have done a belter job with that 👏
You have transformed it, all on your own. 👏

Your husband is being a grumpy jealous twat. 😠 😡 😤
You should ignore him and give yourself a massive pat on the back, as it looks boss! 👏

How did you do the panelling on the cupboards? They look belter 👌

Worralorra · 22/08/2025 13:51

Dpc= Damp-proof course . Sorry - autocorrect changed it to doc!

TheFateNdoftheWedge · 22/08/2025 13:51

Op it looks fabulous ignore well done. Exactly what I did until we could afford a proper kitchen.

Btw when you can look into the company DIY kitchens quoted about 9 grand other brands , 3 grand same stuff DIY and it arrived assembled.

godmum56 · 22/08/2025 13:51

Perfectcake · 22/08/2025 13:49

It’s great. Ask FIL to help rehang the doors. Do you like your husband? Sounds unpleasant - I hope he has other good qualities.

yeah, it makes me wonder what precisely he brings to the party?

Worralorra · 22/08/2025 13:50

It looks much better. Your DH is an arse: learning new skills and applying them is a real gift and saves literally thousands of £££.
We took our downstairs (formerly outside) loo back to brick last year, installed a new chemical doc, tanked the lower half of the brickwork, then insulated, plasterboarded the whole room, lowering the ceiling (it had been a sloping one before) and fitted a lovely new wall-hung loo, new cabinet, mirror as well as tiling and wallpapering. It cost us a few weeks, £2500 for all materials and sanitary ware and saved us £9,500 on builders fees (we had quotes for £12,000 from a couple of builders before deciding to diy)
My DH studied endless YouTube videos for doing the dpc, tanking and installing the loo before embarking on the project, and now our previously cold, damp and shabby loo is warm, dry and beautiful!

godmum56 · 22/08/2025 13:50

Alltheyellowbirds · 22/08/2025 12:59

Why should she put new lino down when she has gorgeous original quarry tiles? It’s a period house, they are absolutely in keeping and don’t need to be covered up. Plus, lino would be another expense.

Edited

the only reason that I would cover quarry tiles is that nothing "bounces" and I am good at dropping china and glass. I covered my ceramic tiled floor with digitally printed Flotex. Its a breeze to clean and I haven't broken anything I dropped since installing it.

Perfectcake · 22/08/2025 13:49

It’s great. Ask FIL to help rehang the doors. Do you like your husband? Sounds unpleasant - I hope he has other good qualities.

FinallyHere · 22/08/2025 13:49

You have done a brilliant job on the kitchen. Is your DH always so princess-y? What does he add to your life overall?

VineandIvy · 22/08/2025 13:49

It’s a big improvement and you did it really well! As others have said a blind and few plants or herbs on the window would just give it the final pop!

My husband is a hype man. My best friends husband shrugs and nods. To everything. His lack of enthusiasm or praise is a 15 year running joke.

Sound’s like it’s just DH’s personality... Next time he makes a snarky remark about your work or the ‘much needed’ extension remind him he’s free to get an extra delivery job in evenings if it’s such a priority for him, shouldn’t be a problem as he’s so much extra time - seeing as he won’t help with any of the DIY stuff.

manicpixieschemegirl · 22/08/2025 13:48

You’ve done an amazing job! It’s a million times better than before.

Lafufufu · 22/08/2025 13:47

cardibach · 22/08/2025 13:45

A few people have said this. I disagree. I love the look of quarry tiles.

I really like quarry tiles but those has seen better days and there's no money to repair.

Lino would give an affordable more polished feel

plaindress · 22/08/2025 13:47

Maybe your DH is a bit guilty that he has not helped at all. Could you not ask your FIL yourself to help with the doors? He might be pleased to help. It might be your DH is making excuses because really he should be helping you himself surely?

cardibach · 22/08/2025 13:45

EarlofShrewsbury · 22/08/2025 11:15

It looks amazing, just needs new lino.

A few people have said this. I disagree. I love the look of quarry tiles.

Snazzysausage · 22/08/2025 13:44

It looks great,you should be very proud!
You're married to a tit.

Allisnotlost1 · 22/08/2025 13:43

I think it looks great OP. DH sounds like a PITA.

I love the floor, what’s with all the suggestions for lino? Looks like original tiles. Maybe get a rug if you prefer the feeling underfoot but I think it looks better than any lino I’ve ever seen.