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To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
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9
outerspacepotato · 22/08/2025 14:59

You did a great job on that kitchen!

DIY comes with a few little kinks, but that is a really nice refresh and I think you should be damn proud of yourself. I'm impressed.

It's a shame your FIL wouldn't be happy to help, but it is what it is. The last thing you need is criticism when your husband is so ungrateful and unappreciative.

Hire someone to straighten the doors, put a washable rug down, I really like the braided one posted above me, and wow.

LizzieSiddal · 22/08/2025 14:59

It looks brilliant and I think your H is really nasty to say those things to you. And he does owe you one, so keep reminding him that you lived in a house you didn’t like for 7 years and you LOST money on it, due to his decisions. You’ve already added money to your new home because the kitchen looks tons better!

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 22/08/2025 14:58

Wow, well done you, fab job. Get your lazy arsed dh to help out. ANYONE can do diy

longtompot · 22/08/2025 14:57

gamerchick · 22/08/2025 11:16

Eh? It looks mint OP. Do you want to come and do mine? Grin

The problem here is your husband and his whining.

Sit him down, tell him his comments are getting you down and he either needs to step up and help or shut the fuck up. Tell him to come up with a financially working plan to get stuff up to scratch or to shut the fuck up about it.

You're going to need to be really harsh with him I think.

I agree! What is he doing to raise the funds to replace the kitchen and or build the new extension?

We are building a conservatory off our kitchen and will be moving the sink to a side wall to be able to turn the window into the door. Our kitchen layout is pretty much the same as yours tbh. The units are tired and approx 30 years old, but the carcasses are well built. As we are planning on doing some work that will involve knocking down a wall there, we are just going to do a revamp of the doors and wall (paint the doors, put on new handles and remove wall tiles, and just paint for now) we don't want to spend loads of money on it for just a few years use. We are going to buy a new cupboard but only because the one we are removing is a corner one, and the one we've seen is about £150 from IKEA, so hoping it'll be under £200 all in

qwertyasdfgzxcv · 22/08/2025 14:56

What a joy sucker. Well done you've done a great job, but it almost doesn't matter, does it, because it isn't appreciated. Sorry about his shitty attitude.

Oxo01 · 22/08/2025 14:56

You have done great for even trying honestly.

Maybe ask his farther yourself to do odd jobs you cant do.
Say I've had to do it all myself (so not perfect ) as your son cant / wouldn't try.
Gives him a chance to criticise his son or maybe not ! but he will know YOU at least tried.

fiorentina · 22/08/2025 14:55

You’ve done a great job. Looks fab from the photos. Ignore his negative family.

MsPossibly · 22/08/2025 14:53

I would buy a bright, hard wearing rug like one of these:
https://www.braided-rug.co.uk/product/carnival-blue-organic-jute-rugs/

I have one on my terracotta floors and it suits that modern countryish look whilst being cosy and very easy to wash etc. I think your new look (which is great!) could do with more colour.

Carnival Blue Oval Jute Rug - The Braided Rug Company

100% organic jute Surface clean Double sided, and extremely hardwearing, this rug is suitable for any room in your house. Larger Custom sizes are available by special order. Please contact us for details....

https://www.braided-rug.co.uk/product/carnival-blue-organic-jute-rugs/

MonsterMamaJam · 22/08/2025 14:52

I think you’ve done a super job OP! I wish I had your get up and go for mine. We’re in the same boat. Bought a fabulous house that needs updating but will take time to save.

Anonentity · 22/08/2025 14:50

Bloody lovely job! Well done!

He sounds like a soul-sapper. If he’s not going to be useful, the least he can do is cheer TFU!

Fingeronthebutton · 22/08/2025 14:47

Well done you, bravo 👏👏👏👏👏
Just look at it like you will be living there forever because it doesn’t look good for you pig of a husband .
You’re investing in you and your children’s future.

missrabbit1990 · 22/08/2025 14:45

It looks fantastic. Your DH sounds like an arse.

Feeefeee · 22/08/2025 14:43

What a difference! I think you've done a great job, you should be very proud 👏 I think there may be a bit of jealousy from your husband because you are more capable than him 😉

Seelybe · 22/08/2025 14:42

@Malahala Huge improvement, well done! Maybe you need new friends and a different DH (which would also sort the MIL issue)! 😂

Rainbow1901 · 22/08/2025 14:41

Don't doubt yourself OP! You have done a fab job that is a vast improvement on the original kitchen and who cares what others think? You are proud of your achievements which is a heck of an improvement on your husbands can't be **cked attitude. When he can do a better job then he can criticise your efforts but until then he can just shut up or put up the money for the professional job that he wants. But he can't do because of finances but mainly because he's useless with DIY and isn't prepared to try and learn! Which is obviously why he pushed in the past for 'done' houses - the lazy turd!
Be proud! 🤗

EmpressoftheMundane · 22/08/2025 14:41

I love the old clay tile floor. The cabinets look fab, very classic. Everything looks clean and fresh. It’s a perfect blank canvas. It just needs a roller blind and maybe one of the washable ruggable rugs to give it a shot of personality. It’s got great bones now.

socialdilemmawhattodo · 22/08/2025 14:39

Wow! I think you have done a brilliant job. Wish I was that talented at DIY.

CuddlesKovinsky · 22/08/2025 14:35

I love your taste, and I love quarry tiles! And I wish I could DIY like you... Deffo ask FIL to show you how to do one door so you can do the rest - DH will probably still see his arse about another man doing what he should have been helping with though... 🙄

I agree with the others, some blinds/plants/lights/a pretty rug - Ikea do nice cheap sisal or striped ones. MUCH better than looking at the cruddy old kitchen for the next five years!

You know that kitchen advert where people get a Proud Peacock tail - that should be you, that should! 🦚😁

CatHairEveryWhereNow · 22/08/2025 14:34

I think it looks good.

I get this when I do things - lack luster reponsed or I'm sure it will look okay when finished - when it is - or you should have done x first not y. None older family members tend to be complemtary.

It's demoralising and DH doesn't really want to do it - so it all falls on me.

He wants to move in five years and there are some jobs piling up but he keeps putting them off - I keep saying we need to do some now - as we get some benefit and becuase we can't afford the time or money all at once. I think it's some for of procrastination - as if in some mythical point we'll have the cash to get professionals in to just do it without the upheaval that brings.

roycroppersshopper · 22/08/2025 14:32

You are a DIY genius, your DH is an arse! It looks great, he should be thankful he has amazing wife!

WonderingWanda · 22/08/2025 14:31

It looks loads better.

You can easily adjust how the doors hang and sort the wonky ones. The hinges have some screws on them...loads of videos showing you how on YouTube.

KitsyWitsy · 22/08/2025 14:31

Aimtodobetter · 22/08/2025 11:14

Wow - you’ve done a really great job of it! I was not expecting based on your post for it to be such an obviously good transformation.

I used to get a lot of grief about my painting skills. I used to just say it's better how I've done it than it not been done at all!

You're not a professional but you've done a decent job of making it a lot nicer and you're taking pride in your home. Good for you. I agree, it's better to improve somewhat than not bother at all when you can't afford to replace everything.

DaisyDoodler · 22/08/2025 14:30

It looks fab!! Wish I was that good at DIY or that creative. Ignore your DH. I reckon you’ve outshone him so he’s trying to take away your shine so he doesn’t feel so bad. Shine very deservedly away!

MediumDwarf · 22/08/2025 14:29

I think it was worth the time and effort as it looks much better!

If his mind is stuck on it being a professional finish or comparable to a new installation then he isn’t realistic about what you can achieve on a DIY budget.

I do understand the idea that spending any time and money on something you can’t make perfect vs waiting 5+ years to do it properly, I often take that approach. But, having said that, it was bothering you now and you didn’t want to wait to potentially improve it.

I think it would be rude of them to say anything negative and they know that, which is why they haven’t. Sounds like a solid conclusion, really. While it would be nice to have some recognition of your hard work, you don't need their acknowledgement to enjoy your kitchen while he saves for the professional job.

iamnotalemon · 22/08/2025 14:26

I think it looks great.

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