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To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
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9
BerfyTigot · 22/08/2025 17:29

Looks lovely 😍 I'd be so proud if I'd done that!

GreyPearlSatin · 22/08/2025 17:27

I think it looks great and I think your husband, wealthy "friend" and mil are just jealous they don't have the skills and the taste for such a spruce-up. Could you ask your FIL yourself? So what if he criticizes your work? It can be no worse than the other fun-sponges in your life, except for your mum, who sounds lovely.

I'd say get that light and that "do drill" blind. Sod your husband. He is a spoiled brat who only has a talent for complaining, it would seem. Perhaps your FIL even has an idea for the floor.

TheWelshposter · 22/08/2025 17:27

From your description of reactions I was expecting to see a dated, shabby kitchen. I think it looks fantastic! bright and fresh. You should be very proud of yourself and don't listen to anyone who puts you down, including your husband.
You have got a house in a great area and don't they always say to buy the "worst" house in the best street.

KookyMoose · 22/08/2025 17:24

You've done a great job. It looks so much better. Be proud of yourself x

Rattyandtoad · 22/08/2025 17:23

Also - I think I used wd40 with a wallpaper scraper to get the glue off quarry tiles. Then alot of scrubbing with a wire brush and soap before / after and finally you've taken all the layers off so they need sealing again. Pretty sure you can also add resin / clear araldite filler type to cut off edges to fill in the gaps too.

anziemoo · 22/08/2025 17:16

You should be proud of all of your hard work as it looks great!

ViaRia01 · 22/08/2025 17:16

I think when you look closely, there are definite improvements in the areas you mentioned. However I think the floor looks worse and that makes a big negative impact to the overall appearance. I think your efforts so far are not wasted - you’ve done lots of great work - but that it’s just not quite finished as far as I am concerned. In time, will you be able to lay some flooring? And add something bright to the window, like a beautiful roller bling or whatever you like? I think it needs a bit more in terms of a colour scheme but a window dressing or some kind will help that hugely.

My husband is similar to your DP in that he doesn’t like the ‘in between’. He wants something done all at once but sometimes budget doesn’t allow that and I (like you) and happy to chip away at it Until it’s done.

PuppiesProzacProsecco · 22/08/2025 17:15

You could get your own TV show making over tired old rooms on a shoestring OP. You've done a much nicer job than Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen ever did on Changing Rooms.

Dunelm do no drill blinds a lot cheaper than the online ones by the way - not sure if they'd have your size but worth checking. They're nowhere near as good a quality as the fancy ones (I have both types) but I've got three of the Dunelm ones that are up and down daily and haven't had any issues. I love my fancy ones from Blinds to Go though - luckily I had two very small windows that needed them. Still cost a fortune mind you.

Rattyandtoad · 22/08/2025 17:07

I think the before was fine and the after is fabulous! Also quarry tiles are hell to polish up but my gosh they look great - please don't rip them out!! It looks timeless. (And you have a DH problem, that attitude would seriously give me the ick! ) Well done you!!

housethatbuiltme · 22/08/2025 17:06

The first does not look 40 year old, nearly every 80s kitchen I have ever seen has been near identical and nothing like that.

I would say it already looked newer than 40 years, maybe 20-30 but still dated (like the tiles etc...) and I really don't think it look terrible or unlivable (much nicer than the doer up we bought) but you have made it look much more modern. I would probably add a new floor, a LVT would look nice and modern and with it not being a huge kitchen the more budget ones might be good value.

Its always good to reuse cabinets and stuff when you can, there no need to rip out solid item just for cosmetic reason, recycling is always wise (as they say a fool and their money is easily parted but you just aren't being foolish).

If you like it thats what matters, not others opinions.

meatyryvita · 22/08/2025 17:04

I was expecting to have to ‘be nice’ about what you’ve done but you’ve done a wonderful job! Honestly, really great work. Looks much fresher.

Daisymail · 22/08/2025 17:03

Honestly, it looks great!

user1492809438 · 22/08/2025 17:01

We have renovated 3 houses from wrecks. I'd be proud to take the credit for doing such a great job and creating such a lovely kitchen, your husband is very meanspirited.

PoshDuckQuarkQuark · 22/08/2025 16:52

@Malahala it looks SO much better!!

We bought a top of budget 4 bed detached house that had the original 1980s decor. The plan was to save up and do it up over time and just live with it. We had DS1 and wanted another baby.

Baby #2 was twins so all savings and earnings were gone and we have had to do most of it ourselves! Its amazing what you can do with a youtube video! We evem managed to take down the dining room wall to make an open plan kitchen dining room after using a youtube video to work out if it was load bearing! DH fitted the kitchen himself.

Our next project is the bathroom which is ghastly. DH will leave it up to me to sort out and plan, then he will help fit it. I'm at the researching stage at the moment. Trying to figure out how to make the electric shower have better flow. I think it's just a crap shower.

Nevereatcardboard · 22/08/2025 16:43

Does your husband realise he is lucky you aren’t divorcing him as you want another child? (I know it’s not what the thread is about)

The kitchen looks much better - so much brighter!

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 22/08/2025 16:42

Its difficult to tell from photos like that because we can't see what the finish is like, but from what I can see it looks like you did a good job! I think the lighting looks too harsh and changing the light fitting could really lift it. Maybe one of those big copper pendant lights?

Terriblytwee · 22/08/2025 16:40

It’s really lovely! You’ve done brilliantly.

Mirabai · 22/08/2025 16:39

I much prefer the new kitchen to your husband I have to say.

HideousKinky · 22/08/2025 16:39

Great job OP! Your DH should be ashamed of himself for being so unappreciative when you've made such an improvement, with no help from him, on a very small budget. He should be proud & grateful to be married to someone willing to put time & effort into something that he's not prepared to do himself

PrissyGalore · 22/08/2025 16:37

I think the after looks fantastic compared to before! Do t worry about people not crying out how fantastic it is-they may think it’s just obvious. To me the one who said so much change sounds pretty impressed! You’ve done a great job but don’t overthink people’s reactions.

ConstitutionHill · 22/08/2025 16:37

It looks way better. Well done. It's true the cabinet doors don't hang quite level and having tried to adjust mine, it's not so easy. That would make a big difference though if you could go on YT and work out how to do it.

InTheRW · 22/08/2025 16:35

I don’t know you OP but I am proud of you!!

TimeForATerf · 22/08/2025 16:33

Bloody hell OP, bravo! What an amazing job you should be so proud, your twat of a husband is obviously jealous of your talent xx

deelishiS0 · 22/08/2025 16:31

You’re an amazing woman! You’re doing great. This really resonates with me as I have a 40 year old house we bought last year, great area etc but we are doing it together painting etc he’s doing bigger jobs that need doing.

I really feel for you, so hard moving house to renovate and then having to do it on your own. You sound lovely he doesn’t know how lucky he is! How are you going to keep going with his attitude and lack of support?

Needanadultgapyear · 22/08/2025 16:30

There is a lot to unpack:

  1. last time round you went with his choice of house and when you came to move you lost money. This maybe compounded with him looking at the house value in 2021 or 2022 and thinking the he would make money.
  2. This time round you have gone with your choice which is not ‘perfect’.
  3. There is no money to make the house perfect even though it was a bargain. There is no plan yet as to when the house can be perfect.
  4. He doesn’t do DIY, his Dad does and his wife does.
  5. You wanted another baby he didn’t and he finally admitted this to you in the horse buying process.

Sounds like he needs some tough love, the house is what it is, you are working your socks off to make it a little bit nicer. He should get over himself and ask his Dad for help, but he is embarrassed as you have done all the work so far.
He needs to work out a plan as to when and how you can afford the new extension and kitchen.
He needs to realise what a diamond he married who can roll her sleeves and work very hard to do so much work.