To be shocked women still try to stop aging?

It's all a con
All the women on SM have their pictures/ videos digitally altered.
I have seen many close up as part of my job
THEY DO NOT REALLY LOOK LIKE THAT
It's a massive industry complete with ego massaging as part of the expensive package

Once you get on for the ride it's hard to get off.
Like Slimming world they want you to keep coming back and giving them your money.
It's a process of escalation
Bit of botox/ new lines form as the un botoxed muscles take over/ fillers migrates/ sagging/ multiple procedures/ face balancing and at 39 you are staring down the barrel of a face lift .

She was not talking about now. She was saying when she is 50. In 30y time. She was musing whether it will become the norm.

I’m quite happy to look my age - 51.

I’m not happy to look like a miserable 51 year old, with a downturned mouth and eyelids I need scaffolding for. I want to recognise myself in the mirror!

Some people age better than others. Some are like a fine wine - I was more like a bottle of milk. So I have tweaks and I’m not sorry.

How old are you?

There is a former colleague who is 74/75 now. She still dyes her hair a dark brown with mahogany highlights - as she did when working . Haven't seen her for 2/3 years then when I stopped at some traffic lights at a red light - she was crossing the road. Her dark hair made her look ill.

I think people who say "nearly all women do botox" are thinking of fashionable women in their own circle, not "invisible" women like the woman working at the bakery, the nursery staff, the bus drivers, etc. Because when I look around, most women don't look tweakmented.

Exactly, it is so tired and depressing.

But my daughter (21) said when she is 50, will everyone be having botox and will there be anyone left ageing normally here? It’s a valid question.

This just doesn't make sense to me, is it a regional thing? Or are "ordinary" untweaked women just invisible? Where I live, South london, the vast majority of women do not do things like botox or fillers. I was thinking about this thread this morning and looking around during nursery drop off.

At ds's nursery the staff are nearly all women - again maybe 2 or 3 have had something done, maximum.

Walking down the street, past the bakery, cafe, corner shop, greasy spoon - none of the women working there or the women customers, of all ages, look visibly tweaked (and I can usually tell).

I know all the mums in dd's class, I'd say maybe only 3 or 4 of them have had their lips done, which is a few but no way near a majority.

My conclusion is that "ordinary" women like me, who don't do that stuff, are just the invisible majority.

Patriarchy patriarchy patriarchy. Is it like beetlejuice and it will come out if you say it three times cos all I ever see is women bitching on women about appearance for whatever they choose.

You can still enjoy the privilege of being alive if you get Botox 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Absolutely hate that sanctimonious bollocks; turns up on every thread. Halo’s everywhere.

I'm not shocked, but I am sad.

There is no pressure on dh to look young, or be young. He is respected because he is older and has experience. Middle aged spread and grey hair affords him gravitas.

Women are useless past their prime. And our looks give that away. So we fight endlessly to pretend we're younger than we are.

I'm mid 40s. I love, love, love middle age. I'm confident and stand up for myself in a way I wouldn't have in my 20s. I don't want to look younger. I hate that I'm in a society that values youth over wisdom. Especially if you're a woman. I'm at a point where having my body feel young is much more important than looking young. But you don't really get that until you start to creak.

And you might think that looking young etc is your choice, but what's informed that choice? We're all a product of our society. And western society bombards us with those messages, endlessly. Look at all the language we use: old bag, little old lady, Karen, frumpy, past it etc etc.

Im 63 and along with my circle of friends (say about ten women ranging from 52 to 68) none of us have had any ‘work’ done. But a few of us dye our hair, all try to maintain a healthy weight, and dress nicely. All have partners except me (widow for some years).
Is this a bad thing? Yes I suppose there’s pressure to look the best we can at our age, but I’m not sure that’s a negative. And none of us are trying to look younger, just not older! Sure I could stop dying my hair, gain a few stone and wear the same oversized sweater and comfy leggings but I have some pride in my appearance. I don’t want to look ten years younger, but I do want to look the best 63 year old that I can!

I hear what your saying and definitely agree we need to be very concerned about the health of people and quality of procedures offered etc.

And as I said I am against society telling women or making women feel they have to look a certain way - but telling a women they should be embarrassed or feel ashamed about having a procedure is not on either - and others do this - it is just as bad in my opinion.

Absolutely agree that attitude is not on.

I couldn’t care less in what other women do, entirely their choice what they do with their bodies and faces! I just resent the attitude displayed upthread that if you don’t choose to do it, then you don’t take pride in your appearance.

I agree it has a significant impact yes, you could also add how you act towards others and self confidence - projecting self confidence, even if false has a massive impact on how others see and treat you.

But - physical attractiveness trumps these from what I’ve seen - particularly in women - think of how many women are desired (in the world of celebrity as well as the real world) and they don’t necessarily speak ‘well’.

For me, it’s not about individuals or telling anyone what to do. It’s about society and the legacy we are leaving for the next generation etc. The messaging around these procedures and expectations on women is really important.

I find this discussions quite interesting - while no one should feel pressured into paying money to have procedures done to help keep themselves looking young - I do wonder why others are trying to tell other women what to do? So much for choice!!

Obviously, it is completely different if people are being forced into procedures etc because of societies expectations - but it kind of reminds my of the whole stay at home mother debate - it should be your choice if it makes you feel good no one else's business - end of story!

I know very few women my age (mid fifties) who have any work done. We are friends from university in professional careers. We like going out, getting dressed up and are at the age where we have that inner confidence. Only one women gets botox and her eyelashes done. The rest of us are ageing pretty well and gracefully and without injections. Sorry, beauty industry. Some of us are happily resisting.

I looked younger for years till I hit peri and had a couple of traumatic experiences, and it aged me overnight.

I had a choice to make, put in a ton of effort to try and look a bit better or just not bother and live my life. I chose the latter. Mainly because I was tired of making the effort and still being treated as "ugly". For years I would make sure my hair looked nice, wore make up, clothes that flattered me. I was naturally slim. But because I was not attractive to begin with, it made very little difference. Men would still make derogatory comments to me. Women not so much, but no one ever said "you look nice" or anything positive. This all hit harder because I'd put in so much effort.

So now my hair is grey, I rarely wear make up, I'm overweight. I wear clothes I like whether they flatter me or not. I'm sure people would think I've "let myself go". I haven't. I've just finally stopped caring what anyone thinks. Making an effort made me feel worse. So I wasn't doing it for me, I was doing it for other people, who never appreciated it anyway. I actually get less negative comments now, probably because no one notices me!

I probably look older than I am now but I don't care. Turning my back on that societal pressure has made me happier than I've ever been.

one of my favourite things about my skin colour is that visible aging concerns is not a thing for me 🤣 but the physical part (my back 😭) is another story haha

I think OP was just trying to pre-empt a thread of 28 pages of anecdotes "well I haven't had anything done and I am 45"

the point being that there is a multi billion dollar industry doing very well so clearly many many women do have stuff done.

It's very complex. I think it's perfectly natural to want to look and feel your best, but billions are spent on advertising things to women. It's impossible then to be truly objective about what 'your best' is or should be.
I wouldn't like my daughters to get fillers or botox because we don't really know the long term effects of them. Doctors used to advise people to smoke. I believe that beauty treatments are researched to the degree that gets them approved for use, not researched to the absolute highest standards possible.

I agree with you in principle, but I’m surprised you are shocked. There are few things I find less shocking.

Its what happens when you live in a youth worshipping culture and instead of seeing that (generally speaking) with age comes wisdom, there seems to be this belief thst the older you get, the less you know about anything and the less you are worth or valued.

It seems shallow, like all that matters is a smooth face but I think thats just hiding the truth which is fear of death.