To be shocked women still try to stop aging?

I think you're unreasonable to be shocked by it. It's been around a long time and the pressure on women to be beautiful still exists.

I don't get the fear of aging, and the obsession to look younger.

I count myself very lucky that so far I am not bothered about my age. I will be 56 in a few weeks. Others seem more bothered about how old I am, than I am.

Of course I look older than I did, but I am very happy with my looks. Not because I am a doppelgänger for Monica Belluci, but because I just am. My DH thinks I am attractive, and that's all I care about really.

I look after myself really well. I am a healthy weight, I eat well, and I look after my skin. The people I admire the most, looks wise, are those who look after themselves, and look good for their age. If you take care of yourself you'll look good for your age.

I don't ever want to have botox or fillers. TBH I don't think I need them and since I am perfectly happy with my face the way it is, I'll just carry on doing what I am doing.

I do get annoyed that botox and fillers is the new normal, and that as a woman we are pressured into getting on the look younger bandwagon.

One of my relatives has botox and fillers. I've heard people say to her "you look so great, you look so well" but I disagree. Her whole forehead is flat and shiny, and it has pushed her eyebrows down and made the skin under her eyes look really terrible. She doesn't need it. She actually looks really great naturally. I think that she is doing some serious damage to her face doing this.

I go to aa couple of beauticians for eyebrows and a facial. They tell me that very few of their clients take care of their skin and just layer over it with botox, fillers, lip enhancements and eyelashes.

If you want to age well and look good, what we need to do is pay attention to your diet, nutrition and fitness. Then everything else follows suit.

This.

I've always looked younger than my age naturally but I tried botox and fillers in my mid-40's. They got rid of expression lines and just looked fake, so never again unless for medical reasons! I would def not have a face lift, though I am toying with upper eyelid work because I have almost lost my double eyelid.

In the last 12m, I'm 60 next year, I have had a facial every 4 weeks or so and that has been so effective - my expression lines are there but so much less visible (Korean products) and my colour is more even. I also use a cheaper serum daily (Balance collagen rejuvenation), a moisturiser and wear foundation with sunscreen (heliocare).

I went from blonde highlights back to my natural colour too.

All in all I now feel like I'm good with my age and how I look. I haven't done this for anyone except me - my DH died >9 years ago and I honestly don't want a partner. Why do I spend £80 a month on facial and products? Because it makes me feel better and has also meant I win contracts. Ageism is rife in business.

And staying young looking isnt just a female thing, men worry about it too. My DS looks very young (my whole family do). He recently got concerned about widows peak. I bought him rosemary oil and a roller applicator. It worked.

It’s nothing to do with the patriarchy. Or feminism. Women will always endeavour to look younger because they are biologically in competition with younger women for male attention. Whether consciously or sub consciously, whether they are aware of it or not, whether they are willing to admit it or not (on MN, mostly not), that is the primary driver. Biology. Cosmetic surgery, boob jobs, face lifts, lip fillers are all the modern day expression of that trend which has been around since day dot and will never go away. No amount of feminism will remove that and it will always be this.

Well said.

Thing is, none of them work. You still look the age you are because that's the age you are. You look the age you are with an expensive haircut. You look the age you are in fashionable clothes. You look the age you are with botox and fillers. You look the age you are despite the skincare regime. None of these things defy your actual age.

On the other hand, being stylish and attractive throughout the stages is great.

No. Feminism is the movement that frees women and girls from patriarchy. The worst lie ever sold to women was that things like sex work or stripping for money is empowering. It’s not. It serves men.

OP I sort of disagree with you. There are things way more damaging to women than them having a bit of botox to extend their careers in male dominated industries for example. However Porn has created many concerns for me in terms of men’s expectations of women.

I am more worried about Porn, prostitution and surrogacy if I’m honest and the rise of men like Tate. The loss of the definition of woman even.

Women are already taking back their power by having less children,
staying single and having careers.

Men look way better with their hair tho. Wish more men would look into hair transplants or some of the more recent topicals

If feminism means that we have to accept aging or remaining ugly, then you are gonna get a lot of people rejecting that label.

People want to be young, energetic, beautiful. These are all positive things.

I cant these posts women judging women. People do what makes them feel good, there's nothing wrong with that. People saying their growing old gracefully and aren't vain. I bet you dye your hair, wear makeup, buy anti aging face creams etc. We want to look good theres nothing wrong with that.

Is feminism not about the freedom to choose what you do to/with your body/life etc?

You raised an interesting issue @jillyiam but shit the bed with your contempt damning with faint praise for those women who do not conform to society's pressures:
And yessss, I'm sure there are a bunch of special snowflakes here who always resisted. Gold star for you. Yet, there is a whole industry built on this so you're just outliers (but good job!!!!!!)

Shame on you.

people have been trying to look younger in most cultures since the dawn of time. Elizabeth the first probably died from lead poisoning due to the lead based white paint she used on her face for this purpose. I’d argue that the desire to look and feel younger just naturally goes hand in hand with the ageing process in a large percentage of people. And I guess we have easier access now to cosmetic procedures that can help (or hinder depending on how they are done), with that…
Im a pretty left wing person who would consider themself a feminist, but I’m no stranger to a nip on the old Botox tap now and again. Just makes me feel better when I look in the mirror. I’m sure that’s to do with the patriarchy somewhere down the line or possibly I’m just vain-I care not really.

The best way to avoid ageing is keeping out of the sun. I know this isn't news!

I developed chloasma in my mid 20s which gave me splodges of dark pigmentation on my face. So I stopped going out in the sun and wore factor 50 every day.

I'm now 58 and you can really tell. I saw a laser therapist last week and she was astonished how unwrinkled I am.

Sadly I was seeing her about my beard. Can't win 'em all!

I’m 51 and one of the worst things is when I was online dating and the guys would say “you look good for your age “ …
like I should be grateful “for my age “
instant swerve but I agree with you there is so much pressure to look younger than we are

Not really. Trying to prevent aging is a tale as old as time.

Dermatologists have been shouting from the rooftops about staying out of the sun, wearing sunscreen whenever leaving the house and using retinol/tretinoin to slow down the aging process. I do all of these things (and have done for a few years) and I’m rather happy with how my skin looks.

I doubt I’d ever have Botox or a face lift, but I wouldn’t judge anyone who chooses to have those procedures.

Men do it too, get hair transplants in extreme cases, or get nice haircuts, buy clothes they feel good in, work out to look more toned

I don't know a single man who's had a hair transplant. My male friends (40s) are by and large abandoning whats left of their hair and shaving their heads. I note the "clothes they feel good in" seems to mean trackies and a teeshirt often than not

I absolutely have pride in my appearance. I’m clean, healthy and neat. I drink lots of water, eat well and always wear factor 50. I do a lot of exercise and am fit and toned. Why would not having fillers/Botox etc mean I don’t have pride in my appearance? I think I look better than a lot of people I know who do have those things done 🤷🏻‍♀️

I bet you look brill.

There's nothing wrong with having pride in appearance. Also nothing wrong with not feeling the need to, its just a personal choice

This is an attitude I’ve seen before on here..: that if you’re not having beauty treatments/cosmetic enhancements etc that you don’t have ‘pride in your appearance’. I absolutely have pride in my appearance. I’m clean, healthy and neat. I drink lots of water, eat well and always wear factor 50. I do a lot of exercise and am fit and toned. Why would not having fillers/Botox etc mean I don’t have pride in my appearance? I think I look better than a lot of people I know who do have those things done 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's not really any different in principal to women dressing in a way to feel they look good or doing their hair and makeup in a style which makes them feel good.
Men do it too, get hair transplants in extreme cases, or get nice haircuts, buy clothes they feel good in, work out to look more toned etc.
There's nothing wrong with having pride in appearance. Also nothing wrong with not feeling the need to, its just a personal choice.

Women are not a homogeneous, mindless herd. Why should we collectively shun anything? This is just as ridiculous as continually badgering other women to 'embrace' grey hair. Everyone should be free to live their life and age the way they choose - free from toxic judgement.

It's not really any different in principal to women dressing in a way to feel they look good or doing their hair and makeup in a style which makes them feel good.
Men do it too, get hair transplants in extreme cases, or get nice haircuts, buy clothes they feel good in, work out to look more toned etc.
There's nothing wrong with having pride in appearance. Also nothing wrong with not feeling the need to, its just a personal choice.

"Seriously though, I do hear what you are saying, patriarchy keeps us busy bothering with our appearance so that we don't have time to mobilise."

A serious question - do you really believe this? Em Clarkson, who I think is very often spot on, made a great post the other day about, after all the body positivity, no fat shaming etc stuff, it turns out all anyone really wants is to be thin (weight loss injections, fitness influencers etc) and "the patriarchy" is behind it all.

I’m a very ordinary woman in my 40s. I have never had any Botox/fillers/facelifts, and I never intend to. I don’t think I’m an outlier

To be honest most women i know don't bother - but the 30 or 40% who do are also much more visibly posting on social media etc so are very overrepresented

My mum is 72 and has never done any of it and looks bloody brilliant, smile lines and all. She looks a damn site better thah my poor colleague who needs to stop filling her lips like a grouper fish.