MIL constantly buying baby clothes

I think if she had spare clothes (even in access) at hers and changed him into them only when he got dirty you would probably be fine with it. It’s the changing him unnecessarily straight away that’s the issue.

For me at least that has a sense of her acting like the baby is hers. When he’s not. He’s yours (and your partner’s of course). And your mother feathers are up, pissed off, and in protective/ownership mode. At the same time all she’s doing is changing his clothes, so it’s difficult to tell her to stop. You’ll look like the petty one.

You have my sympathy. I think you might have to learn to let this one go. There might be bigger issues in future to raise.

good luck.

Is the problem more that you think it's weird and wasteful and would prefer her to just give you the clothes so he can wear them any time, or that you actively dislike the style of clothes she is dressing him in?

If the former then I'd just shrug and file it under "mildly irritating" as PP said, while accepting that she's trying to have the fun of choosing outfits for him without imposing them on you (the re-dressing him in your original choice of outfit before he goes home is probably well-intentioned). If the latter I'd ask DH to ask her nicely to leave him in the clothes he's come in.

As GPs we look after our grandchildren quite a lot and they stay in the school holidays but only 2 at a time. Yes I have spare clothes here but just a couple of changes each plus loads of pjs, underwear, socks, sunhats etc. It is so my children don’t have to bring spares. If the grandchildren stay for a few days they will bring clothes with them. The grandchildren always want to look through what clothes we have and if they like something then they take it home with them. We go through quite a lot of pjs as they usually change into them before they go home as they will probably fall asleep in the car. Any clothes go home with them stay there.
My children are quite happy with this arrangement but OP, I do see where you are coming from. I probably looks as though your MIL wants your child to have a separate existence at her house.

I have spares at my house but I only use them if the GC get their clothes dirty.

Maybe, she just misses having a baby and likes the outfits, I would just send DS over in PJ's and let her dress him in what she has.

Does she change him back into his original clothes before he goes home?

I never understand this opposition to “playing dress-up.” Don’t we all play dress-up with our babies? I know I did!

This.

Urgh. What a waste of money. I would feel offended that she thought I wasn't dressing him well enough, although in reality it's probably just "to her taste", but i think the rage would be because she's treating him like a little toy, dressing him up etc. Does she change him back into your clothes? Just roll your eyes and ignore, it's not worth it.

She loves your child and gets enjoyment from buying clothes and dressing him in them. I wouldn’t let it bother me.

She wants to dress your child to her taste, not her place to do this, she had her chance to do this with her own child/children. It would annoy me too.

My gran used to this (also the mil) and it used to piss my mum off too! It’s like they are playing dress up, it’s a baby not a doll. I think it’s weird too. It would annoy me but if she’s helping out while ur working I certainly wouldn’t say anything. Just have the silent rage 😆

*rock the boat. Not sure who Rick is…

It gives her pleasure and presumably you are getting a day’s free childcare? I don’t see a problem.

It’s ‘claiming’ behaviour…

if a kid gets dirty and needs clean clothes that’s fine to change them into spares - but to change a child out of mums choice and put on grannies choice for no reason is really weird and I wouldn’t like it at all - it’s inappropriate and overstepping boundaries between parenting and grand parenting.

My MIL does this too. She changes him and then changes him back before I collect him. It’s not even anything that different to what I send him in. Just different t-shirt & shorts etc. Not always, but sometimes when looking after DS she will post a pic in the family chat and he’s wearing random clothes that iv never seen. soo weird!

My MIL did this. At first I thought it was a bit odd but then I dropped my kids off in pj's and she did all the washing, dressing etc and it helped so much. There are definitely worse things that she could be doing.

Could it be that she doesn't want to ruin the clothes you sent him in? I look after DGC a couple of days a week and have spare clothes here for when we have messy play (which is often!) also useful to have spares in case of accidents.

If, however, you MIL is changing your DS just for fun then that is a bit odd.

As with a pp I’d ask yourself if you’d be so annoyed if it was your
mum and file it under a bit irritating. And let it go. I’m sure it’ll calm down.

I think she will gradually calm with age too. At the moment it’s mildly annoying but nothing to stress over. She’s not going to be doing it when he’s 15 so it’s a very temporary situation.

If he’s a baby or toddler you could change his nappy but not bother changing his sleepsuit on the days she has him.

And I can understand your DH not wanting to Rick the boat. She is doing you a huge favour afterall.

My DM does this for my DB and Dsil kids, it's actually because they have a dog and she's highly allergic and their clothes are always covered in hair. So she changes the girls as soon as they get to her house into something clean, and bags their clothes up for their house. Sil also finds it annoying but doesn't accept the health implications.
Could it be something similar here OP?
Even if not I would find it annoying but it's harmless. It's her money and her time with him 🤷🏻‍♀️

Pick your battles!

she is happy. It’s not harmful. You have the childcare you need.

My mil used to do this and I can’t articulate why it annoyed me either however as DD got older she started sending the clothes to me or DD would want to take them home so it’s now quite useful

I hope this will calm down over time.

i also definitely think it’s a win that you don’t have to keep her choice of clothes at your house!

It does sound as if she is playing at being a Mum again, and I can see that’s annoying, but it also isn’t harmful if it’s literally just an unnecessary change of clothes a day. I’d bite your tongue on this.

Would it annoy as much you if it was your mum?

I'd file this under 'mildly irritating but harmless' and get on with my life.

Well it’s pretty weird, isn’t it, have such a huge stash of fast-outgrown baby clothes for a baby that only is there one day a week?

It probably also feels like a bit of a veiled insult to you and your DP, in the sense that you don’t know how to put him in outfits like she does. And as pp said, it all is very suggestive of playing dress up.

I bet your DP does get it - but doesn’t want to rock the boat.

Hope you get full-time nursery sorted out eventually. It often makes life emotionally quieter.