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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be slightly loving hearing my kids misbehave?

138 replies

Houghers · 21/08/2025 14:42

I’m a SAHM. Dh appreciates what I do in the home but every now I will get an annoying comment like “well I’m the one getting up at 3 am tomorrow” (dh is a pilot). These comments are rare but they can sting when I perceive them to mean DH’s role/routine is of more importance than mine.

Anyway, dh has today off. He has said I can have the day to myself. I spent the morning out with my sister and am now in my robe ready to get in the bath and just deep condition EVERYTHING ahead of a meal out with friends.

Our bedroom has a Juliet balcony. I can hear the kids being absolute terrors for dh in the garden. They are normally quite easy going but it’s one of those days. And the dog is randomly being a bit of a handful as well. I can hear dh is stressed in his voice. He went out to the garden with his laptop and a coffee and neither have been touched.

He just asked my son “what’s going on with you today, mate?” 😂

Im in bed. Secretly loving the kids giving him a hard time

Two of the kids go to school/nursery (part time for one). But I always love when he gets an insight into what my life looks like.

OP posts:
sandwichlover93 · 23/08/2025 07:09

CyanDreamer · 22/08/2025 08:54

who said that? You are not reading the thread, you're projecting.

The working parent is also keeping the kids safe, providing them with you know.. a roof, food.

The difference is that the husband just looks after his own kids, but it's the OP laughing at him when they're being difficult. I miss the bit where the husband laughs at the OP when the kids are difficult with her? Where was that?

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I’m not projecting at all, merely pointing out how little respect women get for domestic work whilst men are always doing the important jobs. Also he doesn’t deserve a medal for looking after his own kids. OP also ‘just looks after’ her own kids… all the time….

LittleBearPad · 22/08/2025 22:54

Coconutter24 · 22/08/2025 21:28

Do you know the definition of a hero because I have certainly not implied he is a hero. I’d also love for you to highlight where I have said he’s helping OP out by watching his children? He has a day off work tells OP he will spend time with the kids so she can do whatever she wants with the day which is a nice thing to do, not heroic just a nice thing to do. He could quite easily be home and let OP do everything and have a relaxing day himself but instead he wants his wife to have a nice relaxing day. Sounds lovely!!

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You have constantly said that he’s doing the OP a favour, he’s being kind, he doesn’t need to look after the kids on his day off, he could spend the day doing what he wants…

Your expectations are terribly low

Coconutter24 · 22/08/2025 21:28

LittleBearPad · 22/08/2025 20:47

They have implied it! You in particular. Helping OP out by watching his children

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Do you know the definition of a hero because I have certainly not implied he is a hero. I’d also love for you to highlight where I have said he’s helping OP out by watching his children? He has a day off work tells OP he will spend time with the kids so she can do whatever she wants with the day which is a nice thing to do, not heroic just a nice thing to do. He could quite easily be home and let OP do everything and have a relaxing day himself but instead he wants his wife to have a nice relaxing day. Sounds lovely!!

LittleBearPad · 22/08/2025 20:47

Coconutter24 · 22/08/2025 19:57

No one has said he’s a hero

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They have implied it! You in particular. Helping OP out by watching his children

Coconutter24 · 22/08/2025 19:57

LittleBearPad · 22/08/2025 18:57

What a hero

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No one has said he’s a hero

EmeraldShamrock000 · 22/08/2025 19:24

I can hear a small child in her back garden, she has repeated the same words 50 times. I don't miss those days.
Enjoy your rest.

CyanDreamer · 22/08/2025 19:17

Reverse it

and picture dad laughing at high-pressure job mum who is having a nightmare with her kids when she's looking after them on her day off... while dad is having a life of leisure.

See how the posters thinking it's hilarious here would turn.

Corfumanchu · 22/08/2025 19:09

You would be happy if he was revelling in you struggling to fly a plane? Grow up!

Icanttakethisanymore · 22/08/2025 19:07

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 21/08/2025 15:51

Being a special man with a special big man job doesn't absolve him of parenting his children.

The OP must get this day in day out at home with the kids.

Sometimes it is nice to know that kids are being kids which includes misbehaving, and realising the other person also gets to have a slice of your life, while you take a step back.

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No, but typically people in loving relationships don’t rejoice in each other’s misfortune. That’s a bit fucked up.

LittleBearPad · 22/08/2025 18:58

Goodness I miss old MN!

LittleBearPad · 22/08/2025 18:57

Coconutter24 · 22/08/2025 11:38

No it’s not a massive favour but it’s a nice thing to suggest to do. He could he at home with OP whilst she still does the bulk of her job (sahm) and do what he pleases with his day off but he’s suggested she has a nice day to herself.

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What a hero

LittleBearPad · 22/08/2025 18:57

Zippidydoodah · 22/08/2025 11:02

Oh, come on. It’s not the same!

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No, Magpie’s example is much worse!

MrsOLG · 22/08/2025 13:23

This! I have no doubt the day is very stressful for the OP and hubby acknowledged she needed a break, and rightly so, it is unfair of the OP to swim in joy of how the kids are worse with him than her. That is so unfair. I would have been stressed listening to it and telling the kids to cut it out. Dad wants to enjoy time with you and give mum a break. Let's work together and be nice!! Kids are obviously pushing boundaries, not too dissimilar to divorced parents, and mother should be putting the usual rules into place, not gloating. Especially as they are being more difficult for him, than they are with her!! Yes OP is YABU, simply because you are playing games

GasPanic · 22/08/2025 11:50

Doesn't sound much like a team effort relationship if you are gloating over each others difficulties.

You're supposed to be supporting each other, not getting off on the idea that your partner might be finding the world difficult.

Coconutter24 · 22/08/2025 11:38

MagpiePi · 22/08/2025 10:37

…said he’ll ’watch the kids’ ?!!
You think he’s doing the OP a massive favour for parenting his own children? 🙄

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No it’s not a massive favour but it’s a nice thing to suggest to do. He could he at home with OP whilst she still does the bulk of her job (sahm) and do what he pleases with his day off but he’s suggested she has a nice day to herself.

Zippidydoodah · 22/08/2025 11:02

MagpiePi · 22/08/2025 10:40

I used to have one baby waking up at about 3am and being quite happy gurgling and just being awake, but obviously I couldn’t sleep. He’d go back to sleep about 5, and then the slightly older child would be awake at 5:30 ready to face the day!
Gosh, that was fun, and I wasn’t even expecting to be paid a huge pilot’s salary and get days off!

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Oh, come on. It’s not the same!

Catsandcannedbeans · 22/08/2025 10:59

I get it. Today is DHs turn to get up with the kids and I overheard DD saying “DADDY I HATE THAT SPOON NO NO NO” and was a little smug. Amateur - she obviously needs the green spoon for porridge. Rookie move on his part.

lotsofpatience · 22/08/2025 10:48

Why on earth do relish on your children behaving like brats? You better nip in that bud before it comes to bite your arse, darling. You sound naive

MagpiePi · 22/08/2025 10:40

Zippidydoodah · 22/08/2025 09:57

Substitute “pilot” for “any high pressure/responsibility job that requires you to wake up at 3”.

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I used to have one baby waking up at about 3am and being quite happy gurgling and just being awake, but obviously I couldn’t sleep. He’d go back to sleep about 5, and then the slightly older child would be awake at 5:30 ready to face the day!
Gosh, that was fun, and I wasn’t even expecting to be paid a huge pilot’s salary and get days off!

MagpiePi · 22/08/2025 10:37

Coconutter24 · 21/08/2025 15:19

I voted YABU, your DH has a job which must be quite stressful at times because of how much pressure there is to safely get people about plus he obviously works long hours and early starts. Yet he’s got a day off and said he’ll watch the kids so you can also have a day off to do whatever you want but you’re hear gloating that he’s sounding stressed and the kids are misbehaving.

…said he’ll ’watch the kids’ ?!!
You think he’s doing the OP a massive favour for parenting his own children? 🙄

BilbaoBaggage · 22/08/2025 10:31

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 21/08/2025 20:26

Honestly, MN is so po-faced these days.

Time was, you could post a little moan about parenting or your husband, and you'd get back witchy cackles and offers of virtual gin.

Now it's so weirdly earnest.

Also there is no indication the husband thinks OP has an easy job. He just moaned about 3am starts. Well they're hard and he's human! I used to get up at 430 for work and that was bad enough.

This sums it up accurately. Where did all the humour go?
Millennial parenting is far too serious.

GiantTeddyIsTired · 22/08/2025 10:05

CyanDreamer · 22/08/2025 08:54

who said that? You are not reading the thread, you're projecting.

The working parent is also keeping the kids safe, providing them with you know.. a roof, food.

The difference is that the husband just looks after his own kids, but it's the OP laughing at him when they're being difficult. I miss the bit where the husband laughs at the OP when the kids are difficult with her? Where was that?

Show quote history

I think the point is that OP's husband probably doesn't think at all about when the kids are being difficult for her, because she just handles it.

I imagine being a SAHM around a pilot is quite challenging TBH - and that holding down a job herself around it would be difficult (finding a job that would let her work around his shifts for example)

Zippidydoodah · 22/08/2025 09:57

materialgworl · 22/08/2025 09:00

this would’ve gone differently had you not mentioned pilot 🫣

Substitute “pilot” for “any high pressure/responsibility job that requires you to wake up at 3”.

rwalker · 22/08/2025 09:05

Just sounds a bit spiteful
like anything else when you do it all the time you have your routines and when someone randomly does the same thing there finding there feet

doesn’t matter what job you do 3am get ups are horrendous

materialgworl · 22/08/2025 09:00

this would’ve gone differently had you not mentioned pilot 🫣