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Original poster

To think he was slightly rude on our date?

230 replies

Casseroledarling · 21/08/2025 11:57

Weirdest date ever. Been seeing a man for a little while and have been on three dates, it was going well and he seems nice. Anyway, third date yesterday and we went for a meal in a fancy- ish pub. I had grilled chicken, potatoes and veg and finished my whole dinner, as normal. Didn’t finish it overly quick or before him, just ate it all.

Anyway, my date turns to me and says “Jesus you’ve polished that off haven’t you?”. I looked at him confused and said well yes, it’s my dinner and he just laughed and smirked. I changed the subject but felt a bit weird after. Was he making a jibe at me? I am a size 14, and guess curvy and slightly sensitive. I’ve been off with him today and don’t know if I’m being unreasonable.

OP posts:
Kateb12 · 21/08/2025 12:41

CoriolanusSnow · 21/08/2025 12:01

There wouldn’t be another date if it was me he’d said that to. If DH catches me eating, he’ll say, ‘ooh what have you got you little piggy.’
Men can be real arseholes.

Can you not see the hypocrisy of what you just said? 😅

ohyesido · 21/08/2025 12:40

The smirk would be it for me. Who wants a sneering boyfriend who makes you feel self conscious?

CoriolanusSnow · 21/08/2025 12:38

BauhausOfEliott · 21/08/2025 12:25

You wouldn't go on a second date with a man who made a throwaway, neutral remark about polishing off a meal, but you did marry a man who literally calls you a pig every time you eat?

Show quote history

If he’d have made those comments when we were dating, no I wouldn’t have married him.
This is why OP should cut her losses now cos if he feels comfortable enough to say it after only a few dates it’s downhill from here.

BauhausOfEliott · 21/08/2025 12:34

In isolation, I wouldn't think anything of this really. But then, I'm not used to being around people who see an appetite as a bad thing. I've never dated a man who thought of women and food in a negative way - if my partner said 'You polished that off, didn't you?' to me (and him) it would mean 'I'm glad you enjoyed that' rather than 'You're greedy'. My family are the same - we're delighted to cook for someone who clears their plate with enthusiasm.

If someone habitually makes negative judgements about food or makes negative comments in general, obviously that's different. But I wouldn't feel insulted by that remark in isolation.

EuclidianGeometryFan · 21/08/2025 12:28

It is possible that he is a thoughtless idiot that spoke without putting his brain in gear.
It is also possible, in fact more likely, that he is an abusive misogynist, who feels that the third date is the time to start testing the waters with you, dropping in a little bit of 'rudeness' or 'negging' to see if you have boundaries and what you will tolerate.
He may not even be doing this consciously, but he is starting to get comfortable and his mask is slipping.

Dump him.

CrotchetyQuaver · 21/08/2025 12:28

If he does that again or comments in a similar vein, I'd challenge him. The smirk afterwards is what I find alarming. Makes it seem like a veiled insult.

Campingisnexttogodliness · 21/08/2025 12:26

I would have ordered a dessert...

Starling7 · 21/08/2025 12:26

I find that men who let this kind of comment slip early on just get worse and worse. My last bf was like this. I stuck with him for 8 months by which time he'd become insufferable. I'd run!

BauhausOfEliott · 21/08/2025 12:25

CoriolanusSnow · 21/08/2025 12:01

There wouldn’t be another date if it was me he’d said that to. If DH catches me eating, he’ll say, ‘ooh what have you got you little piggy.’
Men can be real arseholes.

You wouldn't go on a second date with a man who made a throwaway, neutral remark about polishing off a meal, but you did marry a man who literally calls you a pig every time you eat?

MounjaroMounjaro · 21/08/2025 12:18

The smirk is what makes it unforgivable. He'd finished before you - I bet he ate everything, didn't he?

DelilahMy · 21/08/2025 12:18

OK, the way you describe it, I wouldn't even give that a second thought. In fact, I would have laughed. I honestly think he was happy to see that you had enjoyed it.

What I did find rude was my ex MIL say that I was 'still stuffing my face' once and overhearing her ask her husband to make sure mine was a 'small portion' as I had apparently had a huge sandwich for lunch.

I do not think he was rude at all and if he is otherwise nice, I would mention it to him (if you are still interested in him).

RaininSummer · 21/08/2025 12:17

He sounds like a tosser. What were you supposed to do with your dinner?

PoshDuckQuarkQuark · 21/08/2025 12:16

Casseroledarling · 21/08/2025 11:57

Weirdest date ever. Been seeing a man for a little while and have been on three dates, it was going well and he seems nice. Anyway, third date yesterday and we went for a meal in a fancy- ish pub. I had grilled chicken, potatoes and veg and finished my whole dinner, as normal. Didn’t finish it overly quick or before him, just ate it all.

Anyway, my date turns to me and says “Jesus you’ve polished that off haven’t you?”. I looked at him confused and said well yes, it’s my dinner and he just laughed and smirked. I changed the subject but felt a bit weird after. Was he making a jibe at me? I am a size 14, and guess curvy and slightly sensitive. I’ve been off with him today and don’t know if I’m being unreasonable.

If someone said that I'd assume it meant that the food was really good.

Summerhillsquare · 21/08/2025 12:13

CoriolanusSnow · 21/08/2025 12:01

There wouldn’t be another date if it was me he’d said that to. If DH catches me eating, he’ll say, ‘ooh what have you got you little piggy.’
Men can be real arseholes.

That's horrific.

dudsville · 21/08/2025 12:13

I agree with everyone except the one who thinks of it as a throw away line.

ShoeeMcfee · 21/08/2025 12:13

Ignore the red flag at your peril, OP.

livingthatlifevondutch · 21/08/2025 12:12

That would really put me off him, I hate people commenting on what I’ve eaten (years of growing up with a performative under-eating mother).

I would raise it with him - his reaction will tell you a lot about him. If he says “god, it was only a throwaway joke, lighten up” or “well you had put a fair bit of food away”, you can think about whether you want to just walk away. If he looks shocked and says “I’m really sorry it made you feel like that, I meant it lightheartedly but perhaps it came out wrong” then you can give him another chance.

MounjaroMounjaro · 21/08/2025 12:10

That would be my last date with him. The fact he smirked is awful. He sounds like a bully.

MounjaroMounjaro · 21/08/2025 12:09

Dangermoo · 21/08/2025 12:00

It's a throw away line.

It really isn't.

SweetPenelope · 21/08/2025 12:08

My in-laws comment about what people are eating, what flavour, how is it? etc. MIL will make exactly the same comments every meal. It's a bit annoying, but maybe he's just making boring conversation.

Apocketfilledwithposies · 21/08/2025 12:05

Somnambule · 21/08/2025 12:03

Any man who tries to make a woman feel embarrassed about eating is a dick.

Completely agree.

Somnambule · 21/08/2025 12:03

Any man who tries to make a woman feel embarrassed about eating is a dick.

YetiRosetti · 21/08/2025 12:03

Yeah he may well have not meant anything by it but it was rude and would very much put me off as well. I hate being made to feel self conscious about what I eat.

MMO · 21/08/2025 12:03

Ewwww. The smirk/laugh following a nasty comment would turn me straight off. Don't see him again OP find someone else

Original poster
Casseroledarling · 21/08/2025 12:02

the dinner was £19 for basic chicken and potatoes! Of course I was going to finish it all😂😭

OP posts: