Page 7 | To think he was slightly rude on our date?

Ek1234 · 21/08/2025 13:42

It wouldn't have bothered me, I eat very fast always have done, so does everyone in my family. I enjoy my food and always finish my plate. I'm not sure why it's seen as offensive to be observed enjoying your meal. I eat faster than my DW (same sex couple) and it's a running joke now that she'll still be eating 10 minutes after I finish. Neither of us are offended.

purplecorkheart · 21/08/2025 13:41

Either he is someone who makes himself feel big by making you feel small. Or he is one of these idiots who think it is important for a lady to leave half her meal for him to eat.

I would not bother with a 4th date.

DeLaRuiz · 21/08/2025 13:40

Yes, very dull charmless comment. Bin him!

Jenkibuble · 21/08/2025 13:39

Casseroledarling · 21/08/2025 11:57

Weirdest date ever. Been seeing a man for a little while and have been on three dates, it was going well and he seems nice. Anyway, third date yesterday and we went for a meal in a fancy- ish pub. I had grilled chicken, potatoes and veg and finished my whole dinner, as normal. Didn’t finish it overly quick or before him, just ate it all.

Anyway, my date turns to me and says “Jesus you’ve polished that off haven’t you?”. I looked at him confused and said well yes, it’s my dinner and he just laughed and smirked. I changed the subject but felt a bit weird after. Was he making a jibe at me? I am a size 14, and guess curvy and slightly sensitive. I’ve been off with him today and don’t know if I’m being unreasonable.

I hate feeling judged when eating (especially if it is a buffet !!!!!!!!)

Maybe see if it is a recurring thing. when you eat If so, challenge and if he continues then ditch him !

TheFormidableMrsC · 21/08/2025 13:33

Dangermoo · 21/08/2025 13:27

The smirk was probably nothing, except acknowledging what OP said and getting on with his own food. Sorry OP, but I think you're being paranoid. You've mentioned your size, which isn't big, anyway.

You’d be hard pressed to spot the subtle first signs of control I’m afraid.

Starlight1984 · 21/08/2025 13:32

BauhausOfEliott · 21/08/2025 12:25

You wouldn't go on a second date with a man who made a throwaway, neutral remark about polishing off a meal, but you did marry a man who literally calls you a pig every time you eat?

Show quote history

Just said the same thing!!!

Starlight1984 · 21/08/2025 13:31

CoriolanusSnow · 21/08/2025 12:01

There wouldn’t be another date if it was me he’d said that to. If DH catches me eating, he’ll say, ‘ooh what have you got you little piggy.’
Men can be real arseholes.

Your husband calls you "little piggy" and you think the OP should bin this man off?!?!

TiggyTomCat · 21/08/2025 13:30

If that is a comment about the amount you just ate on your third date then future comments will only get worse.

HangryBrickShark · 21/08/2025 13:28

Dangermoo · 21/08/2025 13:25

The make up comment is completely different - that is controlling. If this date had said hope you don't mind but I think you eat a bit too fast- also controlling. To say something that's really saying you must have enjoyed that and to take offence- over sensitive.

Show quote history

Fair point.

ThatCyanCat · 21/08/2025 13:28

No fourth date for him.

These men know what they're doing.

Dangermoo · 21/08/2025 13:27

The smirk was probably nothing, except acknowledging what OP said and getting on with his own food. Sorry OP, but I think you're being paranoid. You've mentioned your size, which isn't big, anyway.

Cranberryavocado · 21/08/2025 13:25

Without the smirk it would have been ok to say. It really depends on the tone and if you feel he has been rude and implying something negative then that is what happened and I wouldnt be wanting to have dinner with him again.

Campingisnexttogodliness · 21/08/2025 13:25

Maybe his ex ate like a bird and had food issues? Maybe he was smug he had found a woman not obsessed with calories.
When me and dh started dating he made a comment that he was glad I wasn't bothered about expensive gifts. I was a bit hurt he thought I wasn't worth gifts... But his ex judged his feelings by how many bags and shoes he bought her...
We've been married for 10 years and the small thoughtful gifts do mean more...

NomoneyNoprospects · 21/08/2025 13:25

So he actually finished his meal first, therefore ate quicker than you, then made a snide remark about you eating fast? Yeah that's rude.

Unless you're one of those people who noticeably eats at the speed of sound and he said that comment out of genuine surprise. Which seems very unlikely. Maybe he's the type who thinks women should pick delicately at dainty little portions then leave most of it.

Dangermoo · 21/08/2025 13:25

HangryBrickShark · 21/08/2025 13:22

Major red flag to me.

I had one date say "hope you don't mind me saying but you have rather a lot of make up on" on our first date when we went out for a meal that i paid for which was around the £60 mark.

Second date just happened to be the weekend after his Birthday and I'd spent £40 already on his b'day present.

He was seriously angry that I'd suggested he pick up the tab on a meal that was about £40.

Wasn't long before he became demanding, insensitive and downright abusive to me. It ended soon after.

Edited

The make up comment is completely different - that is controlling. If this date had said hope you don't mind but I think you eat a bit too fast- also controlling. To say something that's really saying you must have enjoyed that and to take offence- over sensitive.

Dangermoo · 21/08/2025 13:23

Sunshineandrainbows23 · 21/08/2025 13:21

Yes, that was my take too. Maybe he's used to dating women who eat like birds so it was refreshing for him to eat with a woman who enjoys her food? If he was bothered about you being a size 14 there wouldn't have been a third date so I think he likes your curves . :)

And I say that as someone who normally hates people commenting on portion sizes etc ...

Show quote history

Common sense!

HangryBrickShark · 21/08/2025 13:22

Major red flag to me.

I had one date say "hope you don't mind me saying but you have rather a lot of make up on" on our first date when we went out for a meal that i paid for which was around the £60 mark.

Second date just happened to be the weekend after his Birthday and I'd spent £40 already on his b'day present.

He was seriously angry that I'd suggested he pick up the tab on a meal that was about £40.

Wasn't long before he became demanding, insensitive and downright abusive to me. It ended soon after.

Timeforabitofpeace · 21/08/2025 13:21

I don’t like smirking so I’d bin. Those people are having a private laugh at your expense, and also communicating a message.

Dangermoo · 21/08/2025 13:21

Fucking hell - so you're eating your meal, you notice your companion has finished theirs and make a jokey statement. It's now a dumping offence. If you tell him why you're dumping OP, believe me, he will be the one seeing a red flag.

Sunshineandrainbows23 · 21/08/2025 13:21

DelilahMy · 21/08/2025 12:18

OK, the way you describe it, I wouldn't even give that a second thought. In fact, I would have laughed. I honestly think he was happy to see that you had enjoyed it.

What I did find rude was my ex MIL say that I was 'still stuffing my face' once and overhearing her ask her husband to make sure mine was a 'small portion' as I had apparently had a huge sandwich for lunch.

I do not think he was rude at all and if he is otherwise nice, I would mention it to him (if you are still interested in him).

Yes, that was my take too. Maybe he's used to dating women who eat like birds so it was refreshing for him to eat with a woman who enjoys her food? If he was bothered about you being a size 14 there wouldn't have been a third date so I think he likes your curves . :)

And I say that as someone who normally hates people commenting on portion sizes etc ...

iamnotalemon · 21/08/2025 13:19

I had a colleague that said to me with shock ‘what, you eat breakfast, lunch AND dinner?’ 🤷‍♀️

whitewineandsun · 21/08/2025 13:17

mondaytosunday · 21/08/2025 13:07

Well I say that to my kids and it has no reference to their weight at all (both are normal build if anything my son is on the thin side - both adults). It’s more a comment on how hungry they were or how much they enjoyed the food!
If you were a size ten and he said it what would you think?

It's a weird thing to say to your children tbh.

OP, he's an arsehole. There's just no need to comment on what other people eat.

VikingLady · 21/08/2025 13:16

PinkArt · 21/08/2025 13:10

It's very greedy to want another thread so soon after the last one. Do you really need a competitive eating thread? We've lost sight of what a healthy amount of threads looks like.

Show quote history

Can we not have thread-shaming, please? We don’t yuck someone’s yum!

ZenNudist · 21/08/2025 13:15

Yanbu. Dump!
Dud he eat all his and was it the same size?

wfhwfh · 21/08/2025 13:15

It would give me the ick too, OP. I hate negging and sneering behaviour.

If you’d been dating longer and were emotionally invested then I’d raise it with him. Given it’s 3 dates in, I’d just say you’re not feeling a spark.

You need to be with someone who makes you feel good and comfortable