DP being insensitive about not proposing, or is it me?

He sounds utterly vile. Sounds like he has no respect for you at all.

His response was basically ‘yeah we were never suited, she was not going to be marriage material. She gave a cracking blow job though’

Sorry, have I read this right? Your partner (and father of your child) said this? In front of you?!

wtf.

So he's openly saying another woman is 'unsurprisingly' married because of how attractive she is. Where you can overhear him. Knowing you want marriage, and he doesn't.

I believe he's negging you to try and crumble your self-esteem so you'll put up and shut up, continue sharing expenses with him and sleeping with him, and co-raising his child. But he will never commit.

As soon as he finds 'the one' he'll be off like a rocket, and if you push too hard for marriage he'll bail.

What a horrible house of sand to have built your life on with a child involved. Only you can decide what to do with here. Thank goodness you know who he is instead of being hoodwinked.

He sounds like a misogynistic idiot. Just as well you're not married to him - why would you want to be?

Well he sounds rather sexist .Is he always likes this ? Had he had a few drinks (no excuse if he had though) He is being unfair to you Marriage is more than a ring and piece of paper .It shows he wants to make a serious commitment to you and care for you .Think carefully esp before having more DC with him

He doesn't sound like husband material tbh.

I hope you're not financially disavantaging yourself in any way. If he is saying that you should bring in more money, whilst simultaneously being happy that you work part time to save nursery fees / do his share of childcare and drop offs and pick ups and kid sick days etc then he is a pretty horrible person and you need to take steps to financially protect yourself

That women fall into two camps, one for shagging, one for mothering the kids.

There’s nothing the op has written that suggests this complex, he’s just a toxic misogynist.

I was going suggest that you propose til I read the whole thing... what an arsehole. I'd be binning off rather than marrying.

What is a Madonna-whore complex??

He's not going to marry you OP. If he wanted to, he would have proposed by now. He sounds like an absolute arse

Why the hell would you want to marry this dickhead? He's a misogynist with a madonna-whore complex.

That's a shocking thing for him to say, especially in front of you. He had zero respect for you and does not want to marry you.
He sees you as a way to have a child and a financial means to an end to be a home owner, that's it. But now you have to step up and make more money for him.
Why are you so stuck on being married to a man who is categorically not marriage material

If he wanted to, he would. He doesn't so he hasn't. What you do with that knowledge is up to you.

This your first time interacting with the human race or something? Not everyone goes after the things they want, that’s just normal human people. Some people fall for other people’s bullshit. It doesn’t make the OP some sort of drone with no feelings or desires, or any less of a woman.

You are angry about the conversation, but in the overall you have built a life together.

i think if you want to marry, you need to make it really clear. At the moment it appears you are happy living together.

if you want to be married spell it out and get the life you want. If he doesn’t want to marry you then you have your answer

Hard disagree.
If women want something and it's important to them, they get it. They don't piss about waiting for it to happen.
Why in heavens name would a modern woman accept a man not marrying her if it was important to her?
Waiting for a proposal is the absolute epitome of the 1950s

Well he is a charmer isn't he

To put it bluntly why would he marry. Doesn't offer him anything - he has house, partner and baby. He earns more. So cold logic there is no benefit for him.

I imagine he will drag his heels and never marry

Please tell me baby has your surname at least and you kept that privilege of not being married to him. Xx

I agree with others though, he's a sexist bastard and now he doesn't feel like he "needs" to marry you as he has everything he wants from you already. Baby and half the mortgage paid. If he marries you it gives you financial security whilst you're going through early years which is nearly always a financial blow to women. He wants to have his cake and eat it too.

You do all the family grunt work yet he gets to keep the fatter salary and protect his pension as if he were a single man and not a team, whilst also making contemptuous digs that you should earn more (just to let you know in his eyes who's the breadwinner and who's the drain), and he can also walk away whenever the mood takes him.

Honestly OP he sounds like a pig, you deserve so much more.

Imagine the conversations he has when you’re not around.

When you have a child with a man before marriage, it gives them no reason to marry you.

You have left yourself very financially vulnerable here by having a child before marriage.

But saying that, not being married to him makes it much easier for you to end the relationship to this vile specimen - go find a decent man who will be honoured to marry you.

Another woman for whom marriage is important, yet she's given him everything he'd get from a marriage without the commitment.

So why would he bother?

There are a lot of worrying things in your OP but perhaps the most worrying of all is, "Am I being over sensitive or is he a prick?"

'Wifed off', 'gave a cracking blowjob'.

This shitty excuse for a man has really done a number on you if you have to ask whether it's just you being sensitive.

If this is how your partner talks about women, I can't understand why you'd want to marry him. He sounds like a prick 🤮

So sorry, that must have been a shock for you, the realisation that he isn't going to marry you. I've been there.
I would have a frank conversation with him, if he doesn't give solid answers and is wishy washy then don't say anything... but then make plans to leave. For me it now comes down to his lack of respect for women with those comments, but mainly his lack of respect to you. He knows marriage is important to you, he has since changed the goal posts. I would secretly getting everything organised to split, including if your child has only his surname I would tell him that as you aren't getting married you want your kid to be double barrelled and get that legal name change made. After, I'd then leave him.
You trusted a man, built a life with him, have faith that he would stick to his word and also to the agreed plan knowing how important it was to you. You've done nothing wrong. But time to play his sneaky game and get the hell out of there.