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Original poster

Autistic child question- I’m worried

40 replies

dogsflying · 20/08/2025 19:17

So my 7 and a half year old son is autistic. summer holidays we’ve been out lots (with younger sibling who is NT and aged 5) to various day trips etc. some he shows enjoyment but others not. My issue is at home he LOVES the Xbox and won’t really engage in much else no matter how hard I try. So it’s like he associates Xbox with home as when we were on holiday recently there was no Xbox and he coped fine. When we go to soft plays or parks or swimming he’s fine but some places like museums castles etc he’s not as interested.

it’s kinda like xbox is his special interest that I hear many autistic people have. I’m just worried it’s a bad thing? I can’t hide it as my husband uses it in the evening although I did hide the controller today when we got home and he was sad but watched tv instead. My husband isn’t worried as he said he himself grew up watching /playing Xbox games or similar, it’s just our son is about 3 years behind I think. He’s 7 and a half and can’t write his name, don’t think he can read unless in his head by sight but can’t read out loud and is speech delayed although getting there
any thoughts or advice welcome

OP posts:
LancashireButterPie · 20/08/2025 20:19

dogsflying · 20/08/2025 19:59

Do people think it’s bad on screens if doing a wide range of activities in holidays and weekends?

Word of advice from another ASD parent, don't worry about what other people think. You sound like an amazing mum to me. It's great they you are doing a wide range of activities and you use whatever you can and whatever keeps the peace, the rest of the time.
I used to worry about mine spending too much time on screens, but they both earn over £50k in their early 20s now as AI specialists. It's actually an ideal career choice for lots of autistic people.

You do whatever works love.

Sodastreamin · 20/08/2025 20:09

Yep 10yr old DD is obsessed with (and I do mean obsessed) her iPad. I do absolutely everything I can to get her off it but like you said, OP, it’s like it’s her special interest

FriedFalafels · 20/08/2025 20:02

dogsflying · 20/08/2025 19:39

i can do as suggested but then he just watches tv instead so it’s still screen time either way

We have the parameter of you have X amount of screen time and you can choose how you use it. Therefore that would mean tv, Xbox and any other devices fall under that time. Screens aren’t all bad, just set limitations.

I found the reading eggs app super useful for helping to learn to read. We also do the daily 10 for maths basics

He can earn fun screen time via learning from a screen if that’s how he engages best

Original poster
dogsflying · 20/08/2025 19:59

Do people think it’s bad on screens if doing a wide range of activities in holidays and weekends?

OP posts:
Devonmaid1844 · 20/08/2025 19:51

We have a WiFi plug for our TV so the TV only turns on at certain times. It's generally not then an argument with us as it's pre-determined and we're not 'in charge'. Clearly we could turn it on if we wanted, but we leave it as is and it makes life a lot easier.

SleeplessInWherever · 20/08/2025 19:48

dogsflying · 20/08/2025 19:45

like I said if it’s hidden he just wants the tv instead despite having toys etc

Ours doesn’t play with toys either. Not often.

The only way we can get him away from screens is by actively being sat there engaging with him, 1:1.

During the day it’s physical play. After bath, wind down for bed with either music or a book he’s not really interested in.

Left unattended, he’d be on his iPad.

HelloHellNo · 20/08/2025 19:47

Tantrums/ meltdowns are terrible if she has more time or gets off late. They can last several hours.

Original poster
dogsflying · 20/08/2025 19:45

like I said if it’s hidden he just wants the tv instead despite having toys etc

OP posts:
HelloHellNo · 20/08/2025 19:45

I have a 6 1/2 year old girl. They suspect autism and ADHD. she loves switch (to play) and youtube ( to watch other people play). It's fine. It's the world me live in. They have yo know how to work a computer, phone, console ect. However, you need to limit the time. Mine earn time.

They have to

Get dressed
Teeth brushed
Beds made
Toys put away
Read 20 minutes
Homework 20 minutes
Creative play 20 minutes
Outside play 30 mintes (mine will play out longer)

Then they will get an hour to play.

No screens after 6

SleeplessInWherever · 20/08/2025 19:43

My stepson is 8, and autistic. He’s absolutely iPad obsessed.

We’ve had to start limiting his time on it as what was useful for helping him regulate and calm down, now absolutely winds him up at times. 10pm (way past bedtime) last week he’s stimming and telling us to stomp our feet because If You’re Happy and You Know It was on. We were not happy, we did not know it, time for the iPad to go.

He’s now got it with a time cut off when it’s finished and put away. Still really useful for learning, he gets a lot of language and numbers etc from it, but it was becoming obsessive.

Original poster
dogsflying · 20/08/2025 19:39

i can do as suggested but then he just watches tv instead so it’s still screen time either way

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 20/08/2025 19:38

I used to tell dc that dad took the controller to work.
If your worried perhaps agree to time each weekend or half an hour when dad gets home each night

TheTwitcher11 · 20/08/2025 19:34

dogsflying · 20/08/2025 19:17

So my 7 and a half year old son is autistic. summer holidays we’ve been out lots (with younger sibling who is NT and aged 5) to various day trips etc. some he shows enjoyment but others not. My issue is at home he LOVES the Xbox and won’t really engage in much else no matter how hard I try. So it’s like he associates Xbox with home as when we were on holiday recently there was no Xbox and he coped fine. When we go to soft plays or parks or swimming he’s fine but some places like museums castles etc he’s not as interested.

it’s kinda like xbox is his special interest that I hear many autistic people have. I’m just worried it’s a bad thing? I can’t hide it as my husband uses it in the evening although I did hide the controller today when we got home and he was sad but watched tv instead. My husband isn’t worried as he said he himself grew up watching /playing Xbox games or similar, it’s just our son is about 3 years behind I think. He’s 7 and a half and can’t write his name, don’t think he can read unless in his head by sight but can’t read out loud and is speech delayed although getting there
any thoughts or advice welcome

My son is also ASD and of similar age - he is also obsessed with the PlayStation such as watching it switch on and pressing the buttons on the console. I think it’s good because you’ll be able to use it as a bargaining tool (lol this is what we do) and I think it also encourages concentration and coordination (and my son struggles in these departments) - maybe I’m being really naive! 🤣🤣

FriedFalafels · 20/08/2025 19:33

I’m also a parent of a child with ASD and ADHD. Just keep it balanced. Don’t stop it but also have a time limit if you’re concerned. We also have the rule of learning needs doing before screen time as development delays here too. Sounds like you’ve managed to have a good summer that’s been balanced for both children. Hope you enjoy the rest of it

Glitterballofdreams · 20/08/2025 19:22

I am also a parent of an ASD child. I think you’re doing a great job keeping it balanced. You’re taking him out and giving him experiences, and I think it’s fine to allow him to use the Xbox at home if it brings him comfort and joy. You could set time limits if you are concerned. My DD was absolutely obsessed with the iPad for a good while, then she moved onto the next fascination! It’s a wonderful whirlwind!

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