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AIBU?

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Original poster

MIL judging our kitchen

36 replies

ML5 · 20/08/2025 18:43

Was at work today & DH Works from Home. MIL passes by while DH is middle of working and goes straight to kitchen and starts complaining to DH what a state kitchen is & we need a new kitchen. We are wanting to do our house up so garage conversion, kitchen, bathroom & decorating etc, so DH explained this to her but she proceeded to continue saying we should do Kitchen before Conversion so DH ended up having a go at her twice.
AIBU to think this was very rude of her to do/judge us in this way & AIBU to mention something or leave to my DH to mention again if she does

OP posts:
DoRayMeMeMe · 20/08/2025 18:56

ML5 · 20/08/2025 18:49

Yes I did and I will but was at work when this happened and just feel she was judging

Have you tried, just seeing her judgement and then ignoring it?
So what if she judges you, you can judge her right back!

Louiestopit · 20/08/2025 18:56

ML5 · 20/08/2025 18:54

Should I say something indirectly to her or just leave it

Life is really fucking short. Someone saying your kitchen, that you are going to change, is a state isn’t worth all this angst.

Louiestopit · 20/08/2025 18:55

Do you think your kitchen is crap? Mine is shit, we’re getting it ripped out next month when we start our renovation.

I mean, you are changing it. She might not slate it if you weren’t.

MIL will often take the piss out of the cupboard doors that are on the wonk - I laugh along

To be fair though, mine can say what she likes as she very kindly gave us 3k towards the work.

Original poster
ML5 · 20/08/2025 18:54

Should I say something indirectly to her or just leave it

OP posts:
Complet · 20/08/2025 18:53

Maybe she feels comfortable around her son to tell him her honest opinion? My mum would feel that comfortable around me, and if I felt the kitchen needing upgrading I would probably agree with her, and say it was a shame we couldn’t afford to do it right now.

However, if my husband then brought up the private conversation to my mother and accused her of being rude , I would think that was very rude of him (as would my mother!).

Pramfaceache · 20/08/2025 18:53

Ask her to pay for a new kitchen if it’s bothering her so much.

I doubt she’ll bring it up again

Meadowfinch · 20/08/2025 18:52

She was interfering, ignorant and rude so you and your DH are right to tell her to mind her own business.

If she finds your kitchen so unacceptable, she won't feel the need to visit again, will she? Hopefully !!

Original poster
ML5 · 20/08/2025 18:49

Yes I did and I will but was at work when this happened and just feel she was judging

OP posts:
IhadaStripeyDeckchair · 20/08/2025 18:48

You say your DH ended up having a go at her twice, what else do you think he should do/say?

She was disparate about your home.
Your DH pulled her up on it.

Leave it for him to deal with if she does it again.

Dartmoorcheffy · 20/08/2025 18:46

So she was basically saying that your kitchen needs modernising. Hardly worth getting all upset about. She's family, not a stranger walking in off the street. Would it have insulted you so much if your mum had said ?

Justmuddlingalong · 20/08/2025 18:46

She was rude, but it sounds like DH dealt with it perfectly well on his own.