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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To call out a man for barging into me?

183 replies

Giraffe007 · 20/08/2025 14:45

Walking in to a supermarket, wide entrance, plenty of room, a man clearly in a hurry, walking fast, barged into me, knocking my shoulder hard.

Was I being unreasonable to shout after him "what's the problem? Entrance not wide enough for you? I was with my teenage son, who was mortified, not a the man's rudeness, but at me calling him out for it. BTW, the man ignored me, but a a middle aged woman, I'm used to being ignored.

OP posts:
Tracklement · 28/08/2025 09:00

He barged in to in a hurry and didn’t give a backward glance it would seem when you shouted after him.

im not seeing how you “called him out” OP. Instead those around you would have just probably thought…. “Oooh bit of drama, I wonder what’s got her agitated!”

Iamtired123 · 22/08/2025 20:37

You're not being unreasonable. If someone were to bump into my mum's shoulder it would cause her serious pain / injury and could even knock her over.

Returnofjude · 22/08/2025 18:09

VaseofViolets · 22/08/2025 18:01

Ah yes, resorting to name-calling. How predictable and boring 🥱

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In the time taken
you could have just told us what happened when you supposedly reported this violent assault on your son to the police.

If you don’t like how your mother conducts herself, then maybe don’t leave her teenager with her whilst you head off abroad?

VaseofViolets · 22/08/2025 18:01

PringlesTube · 22/08/2025 17:26

You’re just a bit of a twat aren’t you 😂

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Ah yes, resorting to name-calling. How predictable and boring 🥱

ZamaZama · 22/08/2025 17:48

It’s so depressing that a minority of posters are taking the op to task for not complying with social niceties. It smacks of second hand embarrassment at a woman not doing the socially ordained thing and keeping quiet and small and refraining from impacting anyone else.

I think op performed a minor public service in drawing attention to this, actually. And it may well have made her feel just a little bit more in control, which is important in its own right. Not all women would be drowning in embarrassment at hearing another refusing to meekly accept being shoved about!

PringlesTube · 22/08/2025 17:26

VaseofViolets · 22/08/2025 11:25

Great, carry on then.

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You’re just a bit of a twat aren’t you 😂

Easipeelerie · 22/08/2025 17:21

How do we account for men rarely bumping into one another?

WalkDontWalk · 22/08/2025 17:11

You don’t honestly think there’s the least possibility that you’re being unreasonable. I mean, the experience is worth sharing, but AIBU is not really the question, is it? It’s more WTF.

Glitchymn1 · 22/08/2025 16:38

Thats never happened to me and I’m 47. What the hell. No YANBU what a prick.

ConstitutionHill · 22/08/2025 16:34

Toomanywaterbottles · 20/08/2025 15:02

You were right to call him out but what you actually said was rude and really passive aggressive.

OP was neither passive nor aggressive so I'm not sure how you came to that conclusion.

Naunet · 22/08/2025 12:16

VaseofViolets · 22/08/2025 10:09

That’s not what I’m saying, as you very well know. My mum could have moved away from this crazy fool, but choose to ‘call him out’ instead, whose reaction was to scream all kinds of abuse and start punching my child.

If it had been me - I would have meekly accepted being hurt, yes, gladly, if it means my child isn’t in the firing line of a lunatic like that. I’m not taking the risk. It’s obvious that these antisocial types have no care or consideration for those around them - why anyone thinks ‘calling them out’ is going to suddenly motivate them to do better, or be better, I don’t know.

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As I very well know?! Are you a professional mind reader too then?

So women should move away, keep themselves meek and quiet so as not to further 'provoke' violent men with their existance? No thanks, you have no right to tell women to behave like that, you should be putting the blame for male violence firmly on men however.

Balloonhearts · 22/08/2025 11:50

YABU. You should have chased after him and knocked him out with a courgette. Cunt.

Returnofjude · 22/08/2025 11:33

nomas · 22/08/2025 11:06

If you reported it to police, you would know if there was CCTV, but you didn't say that when the posters asked you.
**

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Because quite patently @VaseofViolets didnt report to police

Returnofjude · 22/08/2025 11:32

VaseofViolets · 22/08/2025 11:05

Again, incorrect assumptions.

Will we all be basking in the warming glow of self-satisfaction having called out idiots for their behaviour, or will we be asking whether it was really worth it when we’ve been punched in the face… that’s the question. If that’s the risk you’re willing to take - you carry on.

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How utterly bizarre

BlueandPinkSwan · 22/08/2025 11:27

ErrolTheDragon · 22/08/2025 09:39

This is an mn thread not a legal trial😂. We can only infer from what the OP has written that her DSs reaction was somewhat lacking. 🤷‍♀️

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Not a legal trial but in the grand scheme nothing major either wherther her teen spoke on not.
We might have to agree to disagree but for my part it's done with.

VaseofViolets · 22/08/2025 11:25

nomas · 22/08/2025 11:23

I’ve confronted entitled men all my adult life and will continue to do so.

The OP didn’t expect her teenage son to take the consequences so not sure what you’re on about.

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Great, carry on then.

nomas · 22/08/2025 11:23

VaseofViolets · 22/08/2025 11:12

No agenda at all, just more common sense than you. If women don’t want to be ‘doormats’ and want to call men out on bad behaviour - fine - are you happy dealing with the consequences of it? If the man turns violent, you won’t be expecting the teenage son to get involved, right?

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I’ve confronted entitled men all my adult life and will continue to do so.

The OP didn’t expect her teenage son to take the consequences so not sure what you’re on about.

VaseofViolets · 22/08/2025 11:12

nomas · 22/08/2025 11:09

No, that's not obvious. Stop victim blaming and urging women to be doormats. You have an agenda, that's for sure.

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No agenda at all, just more common sense than you. If women don’t want to be ‘doormats’ and want to call men out on bad behaviour - fine - are you happy dealing with the consequences of it? If the man turns violent, you won’t be expecting the teenage son to get involved, right?

nomas · 22/08/2025 11:09

VaseofViolets · 22/08/2025 11:07

It’s because they know perfectly well they’ll be the target of this other man’s aggression, that’s why! Isn’t that obvious?

His mum’s starting something, the son will end up suffering for it.

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No, that's not obvious. Stop victim blaming and urging women to be doormats. You have an agenda, that's for sure.

VaseofViolets · 22/08/2025 11:07

nomas · 22/08/2025 11:03

It's worrying that your son is more embarrassed by a woman standing up for herself than angry that a man barged into his mum.

My teenage nieces were angry when a man barged into me and told him to watch himself.

It seems like males still don't get it.

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It’s because they know perfectly well they’ll be the target of this other man’s aggression, that’s why! Isn’t that obvious?

His mum’s starting something, the son will end up suffering for it.

nomas · 22/08/2025 11:06

VaseofViolets · 22/08/2025 10:13

I wasn’t in the country at the time and didn’t find out until several days later, at which point I did. Any other ways you can think of to pick fault with me?

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If you reported it to police, you would know if there was CCTV, but you didn't say that when the posters asked you.
**

VaseofViolets · 22/08/2025 11:05

Returnofjude · 22/08/2025 10:41

ok

because on the basis of what you did choose to share

Your mother had sole responsibility for your child because you were in another country
a man was barging her
She asked him to stop
he punched your son

you blame your mother

Show quote history

Again, incorrect assumptions.

Will we all be basking in the warming glow of self-satisfaction having called out idiots for their behaviour, or will we be asking whether it was really worth it when we’ve been punched in the face… that’s the question. If that’s the risk you’re willing to take - you carry on.

nomas · 22/08/2025 11:03

Giraffe007 · 20/08/2025 14:45

Walking in to a supermarket, wide entrance, plenty of room, a man clearly in a hurry, walking fast, barged into me, knocking my shoulder hard.

Was I being unreasonable to shout after him "what's the problem? Entrance not wide enough for you? I was with my teenage son, who was mortified, not a the man's rudeness, but at me calling him out for it. BTW, the man ignored me, but a a middle aged woman, I'm used to being ignored.

It's worrying that your son is more embarrassed by a woman standing up for herself than angry that a man barged into his mum.

My teenage nieces were angry when a man barged into me and told him to watch himself.

It seems like males still don't get it.

lotsofpatience · 22/08/2025 10:42

Another rude cunt. Well done for standing up and embarrass him in front of all and sundry.

Returnofjude · 22/08/2025 10:41

VaseofViolets · 22/08/2025 10:37

I can’t be bothered going into any more detail than I already have. Be careful; there are some seriously unpleasant people out there, engage brain before you engage mouth and decide whether it’s worth the risk of verbal abuse or physical assault. That’s all I’m saying.

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ok

because on the basis of what you did choose to share

Your mother had sole responsibility for your child because you were in another country
a man was barging her
She asked him to stop
he punched your son

you blame your mother