AIBU to make my adult son’s lunchbox?

If you want to baby your adult kids then fine but I expect they will have issues in future relationships

What an odd thing to say. So, if you got home tired after a 12 hour shift and said to your partner "oh, make me a cuppa please its been a really long day" and they snapped at you "certainly not- you're a grown adult, make it yourself" you'd think that was a perfectly reasonable answer since technically its true right? LMAO

OP- you sound lovely and so does your son. There is a huge difference between babying someone and doing something nice for another human being.

Op it sounds lovely and your son sounds a really nice man you have done well by the sounds of it, any future partner will have a good one.

It is nice (if he is fine with it). When peole talk about adult kids living home, it is about the big picture. Parents are allowed to do nice things.

You don't seem to have understood the Op post her son does things in the house his mum makes him a lunch, nowhere does that post scream "babying" your post just looks bitter and a bit of projection.

My 23 year old son is at home and I (or dh if he’s doing them), make his packed lunch as I am making my two younger children’s for school/holiday clubs/days out anyway. He’s very appreciative of it and often tells me how grateful he is for everything.

It’s not turning him into an entitled little man child.

Can you imagine the logistics of living in a house with a family and everyone does every single thing for themselves. Like those people that do the washing up but only the things they have used. Everyone would have to go shopping separately. Life just isn't like that.

When both of you are helping each other that is absolutely fine. It would be different if you made his lunch, did his washing, cooked dinner, did the laundry and all the cleaning. That is coddling too far. I think your household sounds very loving ,Op.

Oh dear. Best not cook my adult son dinner when I’m cooking for DH and myself or pop his washing in the dryer while I’m bimbling about. Might lead to “issues” like kindness or caring for others.

If course it's okay, you are both helping each other which is what family is all about 😊

How do you know? He may be a perfectly well balanced person who appreciates his mum

I lived back at home for a while after uni and my mum did things for me, it had literally no affect on my ability to do those things now

It's absolutely fine! It's kind and can part of living with other people. When I was housesharing as a student and in my early 20s, I would often make packed lunch for my housemates. But they would do things for me/the house. We all chipped in and did things for each other and the house.

And?

Let's say you're right.

That woman wouldn't have to marry him.

Or she could say no.

Or perhaps he'll just have a kind, caring and respectful reciprocal relationship like he does with his mum.

Possibly the most ridiculous thing I've read in a while.

You are not being at all unreasonable. It’s a lovely thing to do. Preparing food for the people they love is a way many show care and affection.

My Dad used to make me "home made ready meals" when I was on a gruelling bit of rota early in my career.

(Basically leftovers in a box, that I could freeze/ put in fridge so I got more nutritious food than the chiller cabinet provided).

I really appreciated it, made me feel loved and looked after. It didn't signify that I was lazy or incapable simply that I was busy, he had the time and wanted to do something nice for me. He would probably still be doing it now if he was still alive.

If you want to baby your adult kids then fine but I expect they will have issues in future relationships.

The only time they'll have problems in future relationships is if they end up with an entitled attitude.

It's not the making of the lunches (or any other task) that is the actual issue with grown (usually man) babies

Don't you ever do things for the people you love?

If everyone is happy...great! If you were simmering with resentment as you mashed the tuna....no. Dh works 12 hour shifts but makes his own pack up 😀

The important thing is that he can make it himself and he doesn't expect you to make it.

Given both of those it's absolutely fine to do it. Six packed lunches get made in this house every morning. Four of the five could make their own, but they don't. MIL makes them all. The others chip in in different ways.

No no no, this has all gone too far now.

Of course you can make his lunchbox. My son comes home from University and I do all sorts for him. He can do it himself, of course he can, he looks after himself perfectly well in term time. But when he comes back I like to do some things for him sometimes, not all the time, and he doesn't expect it.

Bloody hell if you can't do things for other people sometimes for the pleasure of it, or just to help them then something is wrong. This has made me unreasonably angry.

I do it for my son who is 22. I enjoy doing it

Wow mic drop 🙄

Of course he can, op knows this already, doesn't mean it's mandatory.

Go for it op, why not? You both sound lovely and caring towards each other.