AIBU to make my adult son’s lunchbox?

@wheretoyougonow

My 21 year old son is home from uni for the summer. He works evening shifts at a supermarket. I batch cook things like spag bol/chilli to take with him for his evening break.

I"ll pack him off in a few weeks with a bag full of home made meals.
I'm a foster carer so at home and would be cooking anyway.
He does his bit round the house, does his own laundry and sorts his other meals out. He will stay in with the foster child so I can get a break for a few hours.
Its just a bit of give and take.
If you're both happy with it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

I make my DD's lunch for her too. I just check the evening before what she would like. She is 19 and works long hours, holding down two jobs, so I really don't mind doing this for her.

You and your son both sound like lovely people. 🤗

YANBU. First of all, it only matters if you and your son are happy with the situation. Secondly, I'm sure your son appreciates it and feels happy when he opens his lunch.Thirdly, sounds like its good for your mental health and sense of contributing to the household. I see zero downsides here.

I'd give anything for my mum to be able to make me a sandwich so keep doing it as long as you are physically able and I'm sure your son will treasure the memories forever

Thanks for your thoughts.

And how is the avalanche of dependent adult males in your life relevant to OP's situation?

She is a disabled woman, her adult son is a compenent adult who does his share, and in their household this seems to be part of reasonable division of work.
It's not practical for them to consider it the token of son's ability.

It's actually refreshing to see a mum on Mumsnet, speaking so highly of their adult child who is genuinely kind and helpful. If you're happy to make a lunchbox for him, it's not an issue at all.

I wouldn't. I like the suggesting of taking him out instead.

He should be contributing to cooking/cleaning as standard anyway if he's living with you and it doesn't take long to make a packed lunch, even if you are tired. It's a good habit to get into and I wouldn't want it to become an expectation in the future.

I'm with you op. Sounds like a lovely family.
Years ago my dh used to do early starts and I always used to get up with him and make his packed lunch. Some of my friends thought I was a mug but I did it because I wanted to, I am a very early riser. I used to know a lady whose dh had gone to work and she hadn't seen him before he left and he got killed in a car crash, obviously terribly sad but she said she really regretted not saying goodbye even though the outcome would have been the same, and I used to think of that occasionally.

Lucky you, you must not encounter as many dependent adult males as I do. Anyway, just a thought and opinion. Keep it classy!

Get a grip! Her son cooks and cleans for her yet she can't make him a packed lunch to save him time and money in your world. Ridiculous!

If he's happy with it I think it's a lovely thing to do to show thanks for the help he gives you.

I think it's a lovely thing to do, and I'm sure he appreciates it.

Nonsense! I'm an adult daughter whose dad regularly cooks for her and I accept it every time. My last delivery was last week, so I'm due now actually 🤨.

YANBU. You do this as an act of love to show your son that you care, and to make his day a little bit easier. We all need some of that in our lives. It would be a different story if he was a layabout who is incapable of fending for himself and expects you to run around after him because you’re a woman and therefore it must be your job

Go for it OP.

No doubt I will be shot down in flames but I’ve been with my husband for nearly 30 years and I have made him his packed lunch for every one of his working days since we started living together.

it’s a small thing I do for the man I love!

Pretty much this.

@wheretoyougonow , sounds like you've raised a wonderful and capable young man - kind, thoughtful and hardworking.

I imagine you're pretty awesome yourself, and this will just be another lovely thing you do for him.

Crack on!

my husbands mum has our daughter for us every Monday, and she always makes him a packed lunch that day. Not because he can’t make his own but because she loves him and wants to do that nice thing for him.

Yes, edited as I re-read it and thought it might have sounded a bit unintentionally rude. Never on here to offended, so I edited. Loved your reply though! Haha, I'd be bloomin happy if I ever had my lunch made for me 😊

I often make my husbands pack up he works hard in a physical job does his fair share at home my job is less hours and not as strenuous it's just team work.

Shock horror - Mum does something kind for her adult DS who lives at home by making him a sandwich each day. Must take all of ten minutes.

I do childcare for my DGS for my adult DS. Takes a lot longer than ten minutes a day. Many posters on here would think me unhelpful or unkind if Grandma didn't step up to help out with the childcare. Yet some are saying that making a sandwich every day is a bit too much?! Can't have it all ways!

Thankfully most agree with the OP! I would make the sandwich OP there is nothing wrong with being kind to your DCs whatever age they are!

If you don't mind doing and he does other stuff around the house, it's totally fine.

My brother lives at my mum's. He does lots of DIY for her and helps her with stuff she can't manage, and he also sorts all his own meals. In return she's happy to do his laundry - she doesn't mind doing it at all and it just makes his life a bit easier. It's not a case of her mothering him, it just works out well as an arrangement for them. Sounds similar with you and your son.

The edited bit makes no sense anyway.

🙄

I did when DS lived with us after uni. Very long hours and long commute and low pay. It was something I could do to help him feel loved and appreciated while life wasn't easy for him. We do things for people we love.

Fridayfeelings post.

She edited the second para. Which confused me, as I quoted and replied before it was edited, which is why I checked as I was questioning my sanity 😆