Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was he in the wrong

87 replies

sandwichofsurprises · 20/08/2025 10:35

I was dropping my children off this morning to a friends house and as I turned into a road there was a car blocking the road, engine on just chatting to someone in their driveway.
The other side of the road was blocked with parked cars so I patiently waited behind him while he continued his conversation until eventually after about 10 minutes I gave a toot.
The man looked at me angrily screeched into a space and got out by the driver door called me a fuckimg slut, bitch and a few other things I didn’t hear while making hand gestures and then held his hand on the horn until I’d driven round the corner.
After I dropped the children off I drove back down the road and noted the car was still where it pulled in and the man was standing in the driveway still chatting and entering the house.
My husband is due home in a minute and wants a word with this man but before he does I just wondered if he was in the wrong blocking the road as ds seems to think he’s aloud to for 15 minutes before it is a problem but this man’s attitude implied he’d take however long he wanted.
All I can see online is about delivery drivers/workers right to block the road, not just chatting to people in the street.

I don’t want to send hubby round if he’s not really done anything wrong although I think he’d like a word anyway about the language in front of the children.

OP posts:
sandwichofsurprises · 20/08/2025 11:28

Rasell · 20/08/2025 11:24

After having read the other comments, I just want to say that my understanding of this situation is that you were in your car with your kids, going about your daily business, and this man has blocked you, you've eventually tooted and he's basically gone mental, sworn and shouted at you, probably scared your kids and left you in a state of shock. You've come home still upset, have seen where he lives, told your husband what happened and he wants to stick up for you, tell this man his behaviour was out of order and hopefully next time he'll control himself a bit better. I can't understand why anyone would feel the need to say that that's 'yuk' that your acting like a 12 year old or any other offensive or disdainful comment. Why wouldn't you want to try to prevent him from acting like this to someone else? Why wouldn't your husband want to try to help? Why should this nasty pig not be told his behaviour was disgraceful and shamed?
You should both go round, you do the talking and if there's any question as to why husband is there, it's because you weren't sure if things would escalate like they did that morning as he clearly has anger issues.

Thank you, thats exactly how I feel

OP posts:
sandwichofsurprises · 20/08/2025 11:26

Mrsttcno1 · 20/08/2025 11:21

And sending a man round to play dad only reinforces that women are helpless and need a man to fight their battles- also not a great way to live your life!

He’s not playing Dad, he is Dad and his daughters were in that car.
My husband is not a violent man and has no intention of doing anything other than a quiet chat about his behaviour but at 30 and physically fit he is more than capable of handling himself if an overweight 60 something year old was to turn aggressive on him.

OP posts:
Rasell · 20/08/2025 11:24

After having read the other comments, I just want to say that my understanding of this situation is that you were in your car with your kids, going about your daily business, and this man has blocked you, you've eventually tooted and he's basically gone mental, sworn and shouted at you, probably scared your kids and left you in a state of shock. You've come home still upset, have seen where he lives, told your husband what happened and he wants to stick up for you, tell this man his behaviour was out of order and hopefully next time he'll control himself a bit better. I can't understand why anyone would feel the need to say that that's 'yuk' that your acting like a 12 year old or any other offensive or disdainful comment. Why wouldn't you want to try to prevent him from acting like this to someone else? Why wouldn't your husband want to try to help? Why should this nasty pig not be told his behaviour was disgraceful and shamed?
You should both go round, you do the talking and if there's any question as to why husband is there, it's because you weren't sure if things would escalate like they did that morning as he clearly has anger issues.

whatdoyouthink123456 · 20/08/2025 11:22

so did your husband go speak to him? I’m keen to hear how it went?

takealettermsjones · 20/08/2025 11:22

sandwichofsurprises · 20/08/2025 11:16

Well I think it’s a shame you see it that way.
This man is 60 something and has probably spent his whole life intimidating women because he can and doesn’t see a problem with that.
Yes of course we could just leave it like he assumes and accept that’s how men are to women and there’s nothing we can do about it or we can be pleased when men choose to stand up for us and show other men it’s not okay.

But this is such an idealised view of what is actually going to happen. If he's spent his whole life speaking to women that way then he's hardly going to change because of a few choice words from a disgruntled sorry, diplomatic husband. And, as PPs have said, it could escalate into violence and/or police involvement - that is, Angry Man could end up accusing your DH of harassment.

Mrsttcno1 · 20/08/2025 11:21

sandwichofsurprises · 20/08/2025 11:16

Well I think it’s a shame you see it that way.
This man is 60 something and has probably spent his whole life intimidating women because he can and doesn’t see a problem with that.
Yes of course we could just leave it like he assumes and accept that’s how men are to women and there’s nothing we can do about it or we can be pleased when men choose to stand up for us and show other men it’s not okay.

And sending a man round to play dad only reinforces that women are helpless and need a man to fight their battles- also not a great way to live your life!

K0OLA1D · 20/08/2025 11:20

Why did you wait 10 whole minutes?? I'd have waited 60 seconds tops!!

He was a complete bellend

RitaRetro · 20/08/2025 11:19

sandwichofsurprises · 20/08/2025 11:09

I’m not entirely sure what it would achieve but if there’s a slight possibility he will think twice before behaving that way again it’s worth it.
Doing nothing like he expects guarantees he will see fit to do it again.

Do you honestly think anyone who speaks to people like that is going to care?

sandwichofsurprises · 20/08/2025 11:16

Mrsttcno1 · 20/08/2025 11:07

It’s very “my mum wants to speak to your mum” vibes, unless you’re actually 12 and your husband is actually your dad its very weird behaviour

Well I think it’s a shame you see it that way.
This man is 60 something and has probably spent his whole life intimidating women because he can and doesn’t see a problem with that.
Yes of course we could just leave it like he assumes and accept that’s how men are to women and there’s nothing we can do about it or we can be pleased when men choose to stand up for us and show other men it’s not okay.

OP posts:
Oreosareawful · 20/08/2025 11:14

I can't believe you waited 10 minutes, he would have got thirty seconds tops from me. What a twat.

Eversince · 20/08/2025 11:14

GinAndJuice99 · 20/08/2025 11:10

I think it's a very good idea for your husband to talk to him. Make him feel very uncomfortable. Why should he get away with behaving like that?

I agree. I’m not surprised your husband wants a word with him. Who does this man think he is, intimidating you with a baby in the car?

Rainbowyogurt · 20/08/2025 11:13

I’m surprised you waited 10 mins!!!

Obviously you’re not unreasonable

I’m another vote for don’t send DH. I’d be telling my DH to stand down and leave it, some people are just nasty and vicious and don’t care about others. He isn’t going to suddenly change because your DH has a quiet word with him - is he?

This man seems unhinged. Is it worth a fight? No

Rainbowyogurt · 20/08/2025 11:13

I’m surprised you waited 10 mins!!!

Obviously you’re not unreasonable

I’m another vote for don’t send DH. I’d be telling my DH to stand down and leave it, some people are just nasty and vicious and don’t care about others. He isn’t going to suddenly change because your DH has a quiet word with him - is he?

This man seems unhinged. Is it worth a fight? No

Littleredgoat · 20/08/2025 11:12

GinAndJuice99 · 20/08/2025 11:10

I think it's a very good idea for your husband to talk to him. Make him feel very uncomfortable. Why should he get away with behaving like that?

He's not going to feel uncomfortable. He's going to tell her husband to fuck off.

YumYa · 20/08/2025 11:11

Stillreadingalot · 20/08/2025 11:07

I'd have taken his licence plate and reported it to the police for the language and intimidating behaviour.

Same.

Also the man may be older but could punch your dh. Dh could fall and bang his head be brain damaged or die. Happened to 3 people I know of. 2 died one is brain damaged. One of the ones who died was just punched for fun leaving a wife and 2 dcs under 5. I used to do the dw's hair. He was coming home from work. Still makes me well up thinking about it.
Or nut job could have a knife. There's any number of scenarios and nothing good will come out this.

Get the reg and report. Or ignore.

GinAndJuice99 · 20/08/2025 11:10

I think it's a very good idea for your husband to talk to him. Make him feel very uncomfortable. Why should he get away with behaving like that?

sandwichofsurprises · 20/08/2025 11:09

BitOutOfPractice · 20/08/2025 11:05

Nobody is disputing he was 100% in the wrong. Just wondering what you think sending your dh will achieve.

I’m not entirely sure what it would achieve but if there’s a slight possibility he will think twice before behaving that way again it’s worth it.
Doing nothing like he expects guarantees he will see fit to do it again.

OP posts:
Springadorable · 20/08/2025 11:08

I'd note the car, and check if it was taxed and mot'd and report if not.

If it was, then I'd make sure I wasn't excessively careful while walking past it with a kids scooter, bike or pram. Or lipstick.

Mrsttcno1 · 20/08/2025 11:07

It’s very “my mum wants to speak to your mum” vibes, unless you’re actually 12 and your husband is actually your dad its very weird behaviour

Rasell · 20/08/2025 11:07

He was absolutely in the wrong beginning to end. How dare he be so disrespectful to others in the first instance and just sit there holding you up...and his behaviour from then on was outrageous. He intimidated and hurled abuse at you - as a bare minimum an apology is in order!

Stillreadingalot · 20/08/2025 11:07

I'd have taken his licence plate and reported it to the police for the language and intimidating behaviour.

Mrsttcno1 · 20/08/2025 11:06

YABU to be sending your husband round, you’re not a child in school 😂

BitOutOfPractice · 20/08/2025 11:05

Nobody is disputing he was 100% in the wrong. Just wondering what you think sending your dh will achieve.

sandwichofsurprises · 20/08/2025 11:05

squashyhat · 20/08/2025 11:03

Jesus - don't "send your hubby" to do anything. Yuk.

I’m not sending him, he would just like a word with him.

OP posts:
sandwichofsurprises · 20/08/2025 11:03

PollyBell · 20/08/2025 10:58

I would have no problem standing up for myself if this was me i dont need my husband to stand up for me I am not a child, so if I cant see a need to do it myself why would my husband make a difference?

Well I’m not at 5”1 and little over 7 stone I don’t fancy standing up to an aggressive man while I have my children in the car and a baby as well he knew.

OP posts: