On holiday and so bored of seeing DS on his phone

My daughter was the same on our family hol. But she put it down to play board games, go swimming with us, go walking, canoeing etc. As long as they are capable of setting the phone aside and joining in when required I don’t get too het up. Sounds like your son can do that.

Mine doesnt read much now either. I’m with you on feeling glum about that.

My 14 year old boy isn't allowed TikTok.

His phone is also on Family Link and limited to 2 hours a day (although he can access whatsapp and educational apps until 9.30pm)..

He is a child. You are the parent. If you dont want him on his phone then don't let him. Its not up to him.

It sounds pretty normal to me. I do the same on holidays during down time, though also read books. Prior to online phone games, I used to take crossword and sudoku puzzle books on holidays.

All you could do is arrange more activities and excursions he would enjoy.

Out of interest what do you think he should be doing instead? And what are you doing when he's on his phone?

Also be mindful that past generations saw reading fiction as decadent and without value.

If he didn't have tiktok, would he spend less time on his phone? You could always just remove it, or limit his time on that particular app. He doesn't need it for communication. He's 14, so you make the rules. Up to you.

If he’s participating in the activities, spending time with you guys socialising and generally involved in the holiday. I’d leave him to it during his down time, it’s his holiday too he should be able to relax however he likes.

But you're on your phone moaning about him. Would you rather he put the phone down and lie there, hands by sides, just to please you because you feel guilty he's not got a mate with him?

Similar here this summer. We’ve done family things and they’re engaged enough, but as soon we get home/finish a meal etc it’s back to their screens.
DD is going into Y10 and keen to get good grades so I’m ‘allowing’ fairly untethered screen time, but come term time, there will be firm boundaries for screen time 💪

He's on holiday! It sounds like he's doing plenty of activities so what's a bit of doom scrolling when he gets some down time ? You're on your phone right now.

We go away with ours soon. I've bought my 14 year old some comics (used to read a lot, not interested anymore ) but we're all going to be relaxing however we want. I'm not gonna get uptight about how he uses his free time, that would just cause us both stress.

But is thia an,adult decided holiday where the grown ups have booked what they want and the child has to be grateful because the parents are taking them along holiday

No i dont like the idea of a being on a phone thia much but isn't a holiday for everyone and not what the adults have decided what has to happen?

We allow our child to holiday the way they want as well and negotiate but suggestions like 'you are the adult just punish him demand he does what you order' type replies does not really make for a great holiday environment for anyone

If he said 'mum dad i have burning desire to go to Tuscany and stay in a castle' and you spend thousands doing that sure rude of him but adults and children dont think the same

Limit his time on the phone. You are the parent, you can enforce those rules. He’ll be gaining nothing from staring at his phone. Let him get bored, from that he’ll find other things to do. Letting him stare at a phone is the easy option all round. Ultimately it’s your choice.

If he’s participating in other parts of the holiday then I’d let him decide what he wants to do with his free time (unless he’s disturbing you). It sounds like you’ve been quite busy doing activities and he’s socializing with you at meal times, so I’d probably let it go, or at least set quite generous limits on how much screen time he’s allowed.

If you want him to have a bit less screen time then you could offer to pay/facilitate other activities of his choosing when you’re not busy with the activities you've chosen as a family (my parents paid for my brothers to do an afternoon surf school when they were a similar age which worked really well- they did the lessons whilst my parents sunbathed/read in peace).

I think my approach would be to reduce his screen time by offering better alternatives rather than trying to restrict it or commenting on it (which is a sure fire way to get a teen’s back up and make the holiday miserable for everyone). At times when you’re just relaxing I’d let him decide how he wants to do that.

It sounds like he's had plenty of time engaged with family and seeing the sights. Tiktok is annoying, but I totally get him wanting some downtime and wanting to chat to other teenagers. I think your expectations that he relaxed exactly the way you want on holiday are pretty unreasonable.

Same here, I hate it too and really regret letting him ever get TikTok especially. It's so addictive, however my son is a bit of a geek and whatever is coming up his he seems to be learning a lot from.

I try really hard to keep him active and we have done lots of the holidays however he also wants to be on his phone during down time which still adds up to a lot of time. He doesn't want to go out with his friends as he can play with them online.

I don't have the answers but I empathise, I feel so guilty about it but just fear it's the way it is now.