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AIBU? Council repairs leaving my 86-year-old mum with nowhere suitable to live

157 replies

WhiteWinePls · 19/08/2025 18:41

I am my mum’s full-time carer. She is 86 and has lived in her council home for all of her life. She has agoraphobia. That home has now fallen into such a dangerous state that it is uninhabitable while major repairs are carried out — likely for around 6 months.

The council’s “solution” has been to offer temporary accommodation that is completely unsuitable for her, given her needs. My mum, who has paid rent faithfully for decades, is being left with nowhere safe to go. At her age, with her health, this upheaval feels cruel and frightening. They’ve adopted a ‘like it or lump it’ position with no negotiation.

I have managed to find a flat that would keep her safe and stable until she can return home. I can also stay with her to provide the full-time care she needs. The problem is that the landlord is asking for 6 months' rent up front plus a deposit, and I do not have that kind of money as I am a full-time carer.

AIBU to ask if anyone has advice on where to turn — such as charities that could help or schemes like Discretionary Housing Payments — I would be so grateful. Also has anyone ever tried setting up a fundraiser in this situation, and do you think this would be appropriate here?

Grateful for any advice. Thank you.

OP posts:
YourJoyousDenimExpert · 19/08/2025 22:42

I am wondering whether only elderly mum is the actual tenant and so accommodation offer is for her only and not OP.
Agree with those advising they need to accept the offer as may lose tenancy if go into private rented.

GenieGenealogy · 19/08/2025 22:37

I am not trying to be unsympathetic - but. If the house needs major repairs as you say, she cannot remain in the property when those are being carried out. We are coming into autumn - the Council have to rehouse if the house will potentially have no heating, hot water, electricity...

I am sorry your mother is unwell but I really can't see that the Council are doing anything wrong here. Would residential care be an option?

Crazydoglady1980 · 19/08/2025 22:32

As your Mum is in hospital access the social workers etc that are available when she is ready for discharge they have a duty of care to make sure where she is discharged to is safe. If the temporary property is not suitable they will liaise with the council around this. However it must be a need for not being suitable and not a want.

Jumpthewaves · 19/08/2025 22:12

What is it that's unsuitable about the accommodation offered? Is there a way it could be adapted to be more suitable? Sounds like a really tough situation.

G0ldC01nTreasure · 19/08/2025 22:09

I have viewed the photos now
The Council should be investigating the rat/pest issues

WhiteWinePls · 19/08/2025 22:08

@MistressoftheDarkSide you get it. Sorry if you have been in the same situation.

OP posts:
MistressoftheDarkSide · 19/08/2025 22:06

Summerathome · 19/08/2025 21:31

I have significant doubts about the veracity of this thread.
A hospital has placed an 86 year old on suicide watch due to her accommodation issues? Highly unlikely.
No.
mumsnet please intervene here!

Edited

Tell me you haven't tried to navigate LA Housing, ASC and hospital for elderly people recently without telling me....

It's brutal, labyrinthine, needlessly bureaucratic and can make people feel suicidal. Ask me how I know.

AbitmoreBert · 19/08/2025 22:05

@WhiteWinePlswhat have the council offered and why is it unsuitable?

G0ldC01nTreasure · 19/08/2025 22:01

Suggest contacting "Shelter"
They advise on housing issues
But I do not know if that includes Council housing

Coconutter24 · 19/08/2025 22:00

The council’s “solution” has been to offer temporary accommodation that is completely unsuitable for her, given her needs.

What is wrong with the temporary accommodation they have offered?

songbird3086 · 19/08/2025 21:52

If your mother moves out she should not have to pay rent on her property for the months it’s in repair. That should be written off ( I work in social housing )can she use that to compensate if someone can pay in the first instance.

however I’m sure what she pays is no where near what a flat will cost. I don’t know if any DHPs will cover if she’s been offered and ‘rejected ‘ a TA property. Can you try and escalate the matter to the ombudsman perhaps?

WhiteWinePls · 19/08/2025 21:51

JDM625 · 19/08/2025 21:50

OP- its very difficult to follow because you aren't quoting the posts people are adding- just their username. Those of us trying to follow have to then scroll back pages to see what they asked. Can you please quote their whole question instead please.

Also- WHY is the council house unsuitable?

Sorry, I didn't realize! Will do that in future.

OP posts:
G0ldC01nTreasure · 19/08/2025 21:51

If your DM has never been to the temporary accommodation how does she or you know that it is unsuitable ?

If she is currently in hospital

WhiteWinePls · 19/08/2025 21:51

@Summerathome if you are in London, you are most welcome to come round to our house and have a look. That goes for anyone actually, as I am still living here.

OP posts:
JDM625 · 19/08/2025 21:50

OP- its very difficult to follow because you aren't quoting the posts people are adding- just their username. Those of us trying to follow have to then scroll back pages to see what they asked. Can you please quote their whole question instead please.

Also- WHY is the council house unsuitable?

AbitmoreBert · 19/08/2025 21:49

Having looked at the photos on your other thread I don’t understand how the property has got in that condition.

WhiteWinePls · 19/08/2025 21:46

@G0ldC01nTreasure , yes Mum gets AA - thank you!

OP posts:
WhiteWinePls · 19/08/2025 21:45

@PinkCampervan it's not a 1 bed. It's just that a lot of the house is unusable.

OP posts:
Summerathome · 19/08/2025 21:34

Reported

Summerathome · 19/08/2025 21:31

I have significant doubts about the veracity of this thread.
A hospital has placed an 86 year old on suicide watch due to her accommodation issues? Highly unlikely.
No.
mumsnet please intervene here!

PinkCampervan · 19/08/2025 21:04

This makes no sense. This is a 1 bed that she has lived in all her life, where did you live growing up?

They're in London. They've probably been there in the 1bed flat forever. There's a housing shortage. A 1bed can house two people. They're same sex assuming OP is female (she's going on a march for women so not an unnatural assumption). So the flat probably doesn't even qualify as overcrowded if her mum stayed single.

PinkCampervan · 19/08/2025 20:59

I've read your other thread. It is as I suspected about the state of the place. It's appalling. Sorry you're having to put up with that. As a minimum move your bed from under that sagging ceiling part, but preferably sleep in the living room with your mum.

As it looks like you're also now homeless, you'll need to apply for temporary accommodation too. I suggest you be realistic about your mum's prospects of not going into a care home. Even with a long term hospital stay means-tested benefits stop after a few weeks. That probably includes carer's allowance too when the person you care for is the one in hospital. In about a month is the time companies start looking for seasonal workers to cover extra demands at Christmas. If you're about to lose your job as mum's carer I suggest you apply, it could lead to a permanent position if you're lucky (I'm assuming you're of working age and healthy). If you don't want temporary accommodation from the council, a job will also help make you a more favourable prospect for a private landlord.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 19/08/2025 20:58

This makes no sense. This is a 1 bed that she has lived in all her life, where did you live growing up?

Presumably she has been offered accommodation for 1, and you want to move with her, hence declining it. But she is not defined as needing it, and currently only has a one bed, which is what is being replaced? But you want to be accommodated too, which they may not want to do because they have no requirement to house you, and don't want to set a precedent by doing so now in case you both insist you need something bigger when the temp accommodation is up?

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 19/08/2025 20:50

You have been asked more than once, where do you live / where is your home.

Is the problem with the temp property is it is for your Mum only ?

as your previous thread mentions one of you sleeping in the bedroom and the other in the living room.
you also mention your mother living there her whole life - really. where did she live when she was bringing up you, and any siblings you may have.

At 86 I would guess she will be moved in sheltered housing or a care home
so where do you live ?
does the Council have a duty to provide a home for you ?

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