AIBU? Council repairs leaving my 86-year-old mum with nowhere suitable to live

it could be months or years before the refurbishments are done on the current housing. Your mother just needs to be moved, possibly permanently. The way you were posting, it sounded like the council wanted to put your elderly mother into a 6 story walk-up b&b.

If they gave offered her a flat, help her get set up and work with social services to arrange a care package so this home stays in decent repair and someone monitors her health.

You should not be in this role for many reasons. Talk to the hospital before her discharge and let them know you are stepping back and they need to put a package in place. You can still visit frequently, but you should not be her carer.

Op people are looking for information to help you push for the best available outcome for your mum.

It might not be the outcome you want because thats basically not feasible. If people can understand the barriers to different options they can help you push for an outcome better than the rat infested house or unsuitable temporary accomodation, even if its not your perfect solution.

Your replies just do not match up at all.

This makes no sense at all...again. From an 'agoraphobia' point of view.

A 'hotel apartment'...fine.

A flat...fine.

Your house...not fine.

Somehow she will be cuckoo'd again if she was moved somewhere else, but only of in a flat and not elsewhere. Surely if she was in a flat you could 'camp out' there is the same way you do now? Why does she need a 'hotel apartment'?

How old are these 'youngish' children? Assuming you don't work given all this upheaval @WhiteWinePls? What's your main income?

In anycase op one person in a 3 bed council house is massive overoccupancy. Can't you ask for her to swap to a little 1 bed more suitable for her? She doesn't need a 3 bed house anyway.

You can't turn down a perfectly fine flat because you would prefer a hotel apartment. Sorry but that isn't a reasonable expectation of the council.

This. If you want luxury, you have to be prepared to pay for it yourself.

If her care needs are so high that she is this vulnerable living alone it sounds like the time has come for a care home etc.

Genuinely can't see what form of agoraphobia would mean she can be in:

• a strange private rented flat
• hospital
• council temporary accommodation

But can't possibly stay with you?

Also... how does a house get holes in walls? Surely if your mum has lived there ages there was a point where she's not maintained her home for it to get like this? Its not a hotel, as a renter while the landlord has main obligation for major repairs i don't think its reasonable to do absolutely nothing while a property gets overrun with rats. Why hasn't she moved elsewhere years ago if it wasnt fit to live in?

You can't turn down a perfectly fine flat because you would prefer a hotel apartment. Sorry but that isn't a reasonable expectation of the council.

You simply cannot stay in a condemned house. Something has to give.

How did the cuckooing person get access to your mum and her things when she is bed bound and agoraphobic? And how would that same person get access to her when she's living somewhere else away from her current home, if they're a neighbour at the current home?

Why would your mum be safe in a hotel but not a flat, hotel staff aren't carers and won't stop anyone coming and going?

The updates don't make masses of sense.

She can’t go back to the house OP, it is squalid. I’m struggling to imagine a situation a daughter would be happy for their parent to live like that.

If the house is a 3 bed the council
may be able to give her priority for something smaller. She clearly cannot manage a house and you’ve said yourself she was only living in one room.

Are you hoping to succeed the tenancy yourself one day?

edited - typo!

How can a bedbound elderly lady who needs full time care not meet the criteria for a care home. Who is in hospital on suicide watch?

If you have a home you've left behind along with young kids then why can't she come and live with you?

I thought that you said your DM was bed bound ?

In that case, she would surely meet the criteria to be in a safe, clean, warm Council funded care or nursing home

If you don’t want your mother moved somewhere and she obviously shouldn’t be left in deteriorated housing, what Do you suggest happens?

Well she can't stay in a condemned house can she? Nor can you if you've a home of your own with young children elsewhere!

If there's not actually a suitability issue with the temporary accommodation, I'm not really sure what you're expecting the council to do. What sort of solution are you hoping for?

If your mum can't keep herself safe it's probably time to look into supporting living or a care home.

Won’t she be far enough away?

also I thought you lived with your mum from your other thread?

The council aren't punishing you... the house has to be condemned, it's uninhabitable, and not from the actions of the council.

Absolutely no way would a vulnerable lady be discharged to there, but the council would need her to surrender the tenancy before moving her elsewhere.

Essentially, it sounds like your would be better in a care home or similar, meaning she is safe and you are free to house yourself and work etc

The level of disrepair shown in the pictures on the other thread do not just come from the landlord not undertaking required cyclical repairs, they come from years of tenant neglect, under heating, under ventilating, under occupying (only living in one room), not reporting repairs when required or allowing access for cyclical repairs, and not engaging with support services where required.

Op your mum cannot go back to that property as it’s uninhabitable. You need to take the council up of the other housing options. That house needs months of work and a lot of money to get it in to a condition it is safe to live in, it’s not a quick fix.

How old are you OP? I'm asking for a bigger picture because your circumstances are going to be different depending on if your mum got pregnant at 16 (making you 70-ish) or a pre-menopause pregnancy when she was 45 (making you a lot younger).
Have you ever worked?
Have you ever lived alone?

You did initially come across as being a bit entitled, or at best just totally not understanding the system.
But I've been wondering if it's more than that. I can understand your panic if you've never worked, never moved out of the family home or lived totally independently.
And now possibly facing:
Being street-homeless shortly.
Entering the job market for the first time ever.
Losing all your possessions because you're homeless.
Losing the home you've lived in all your life.
Losing your mum's constant company that you've never been without.
Losing your income because you no longer have her to care for.
And you're trying to advocate for your mum and see to her interests on top of all that.
(As well as having some posters thinking you're a scammer).

I know you're probably afraid of getting a kicking for being "a benefit scrounger" but not everyone is horrible (and it's only pixels on a webpage in cyberspace, take a deep breath and ignore it) but you might get some more specific advice for yourself if you're willing to post the bigger picture.