To feel so stressed about ds starting primary school in a couple of weeks

Even fully trained kids have accidents at school when they start, it's a completely new environment.

Oh go away will you! It’s not like he’s still in nappies! All kids have accidents and if you think otherwise your deluded

That’s why they go to school lol if they knew all this before they went, what would be the point in going? You will be surprised how quickly he comes on. Couple of weeks into reception and my daughter came home and was reading her own reading book! School will guide you on how to support with reading and writing at home too.

I bet loads still have the odd accident, especially if they are focused on something else, just pack spare clothes. This will stop anyway as he will realise it’s not the “socially done thing” to wee at school.

Work on. the toilet issues. The teachers are not there for this. At school spending time on.this will detract from.. teaching and learning. Try not to transfer your worries onto him.

My kid has had two years or nursery and couldn't do any of these this starting. Hes still a baby his academic learning is only starting.. my DD still gets the alphabet wrong going into P1 he will be fine. So long as hes loved happy and healthy these things will come ❤️

I wouldn't worry about the numbers/letters.

Perhaps you could start to follow the school routine with toileting e.g make sure he goes in the morning, at break time, lunchtime etc. Teach him he just needs to try at these times.

I'd also focus on making sure he can get his own shoes on and off, do up his coat etc. Put his name on things so he sees it but don't make a huge deal.

I think boys especially are often lazy and it's amazing what they can actually do when they don't have mum there/a bit of peer pressure.

It will even put quick enough.

As long as he's happy don't over analyse your time with him. I'm sure you've done plenty together and enjoyed it.

Helpful.

My DD is 14 now.
I barely managed to teach her to countvto 10 before starting school. She couldn't recognise letters or numbers, wouldn't talk at nursery... but was a very happy little girl.

I'm not going to lie... it was hard. At the end of Reception she was still on "pink" books (the first level). She couldn't do Yr2 SATs...

But now... shes 14, just starting her GCSEs/BTechs. Top set for Maths, doing 3 Science gcses in space of 2, hs represented the school at sport, appears in the School musicals... (and will pass her English GCSE with a lot of hard work as she still struggles with reading and writing).

The point of this essay... you can't look atva 4yo and know the future. He might be a bit behind with some things when he starts... and he might be absolutely brilliant at others. He may pick things up quickly or struggle. His progress won't be linear... there might be a massive leap forward at some point, or he might not seem to be progressing at all sometimes. But all the time they are learning and growing.

School is the next great adventure. This time next year you will probably be wondering what was so scary (but something else will get scary... like is he ready for a Beaver sleepover at 6, or wanting to play out with friends at 8 or 9, or the first date in his teens...)

Don’t worry too much! You have recognised these things and you know to raise them with his teacher. I’d imagine by Christmas you’ll look back and wonder why you were so concerned!

My kids knew jack shit when they started school. I couldn’t quite believe my ears when dickheads at the nursery gates were talking about writing letters and counting. My kids had just trundled around for 3 years watching CBeebies!

As it was, by the time they got going, my kids were all high flyers and are now high achieving adults. The letters, numbers and toileting will come. Don’t worry. 💐

The staff will remind him , the children will all go to the toilet regularly.

Send him to the toilet regularly, set an alarm , every hour.

You can teach him 1 to 10 in a day easy.

Don't worry about letters , phonics etc.Practice putting on shoes and coat.

He will settle in quickly and a month from now you wont be worried at all.

Calm down. If he can feed himself, do some toileting, answer simple questions, play with others ,play by himself, then you have done loads with him. You will be amazed at the speed he changes when at school. Keep positive , don't compare to others or stories about others. Do I suspect he is young in his school year too? If so change should be even more noticeable across his reception year. Don't panic, enjoy.

He will be fine.
Our school each child has a picture next to their name. This is on their peg, drawer, table

They haven’t started school yet, why would they know letters, numbers, phonics, anything they learnt in nursery great, but school will teach them all this, that’s what school is for. My youngest gets couldn’t read or write before school, she’s just finished year 2, is a free reader and loves writing for fun.

as other have said, putting shoes on the right feet, putting their clothes and coats on independently, those are the skills they want to be focusing on now to make teachers life easier.

Primary School staff here, it’s natural to worry! It’s a huge step ☺️ Honestly, the biggest thing you can do to prepare your child for school is to teach a little independence. Can they put their jacket on, pack their bag (perhaps a water bottle and book etc) and LABEL THEIR CLOTHES 😬 we have a pile of jumpers already and the term has just started here. There is staff on hand to help all day. It’s a daunting thought but within a few weeks they pick up a routine. As for the toilet, it is normal for accidents to happen! Kids forget or leave it too late. We are happy to help them with a wee change of clothes and encouragement. Please don’t worry about phonics/numbers and name ( we have pictures alongside their name on a peg so they will know their picture) just now. The emphasis is on getting to know each child and getting each child to know their peers, the school environment and the staff. Learning to read and write is done very gently to begin with through play and mark making, colouring etc. when your child does have sounds to learn at home, encourage and ask questions…that is the the best help and support we can ask for. I hope he has a great first day😊 Go easy on yourself, everything will be fine 💐

Nurseries should have helped your son with this, but so should you. I’m not going to lie but the teachers aren’t going to be happy unless your child has special needs. Teachers don’t have time to tidy up after messes, they’re supposed to teach. I think lots of people want you to feel better but I’m not a sugar coating type of person. You have 2 weeks- use them wisely…

Don’t stress about the letters and numbers. DS had no interest before starting school, his now doing very well in a super selective grammar school.

My middle boy refused to even pick up a pencil until Easter of reception year. He's well on track for a bunch of 7's and 8's at GCSE next year - the school will have seen all sorts and will know how to get him learning.

He’ll likely have an accident at school and then realise it’s not worth the bother of ignoring it.

You don’t need to worry about letters and numbers, but you should spend the last couple of weeks making sure he can manage his own belongings and dress/ undress himself as much as possible. Personal independent skills are more important for starting school than thing they will teach in reception anyway.

What’s important now is that you support him in school. Everyone will be at different levels when they start, some will be able to read already, some just starting to know letter sounds, it’s the aim to get everyone to a good level by the end of reception and they’re not expecting them all to be able to do everything already. Make sure you spend one on one time with him every day doing his reading book that he’ll bring home and phonics practice. Listen to the teachers parents evening and go to the meetings where they tell you the curriculum and ideas for home learning.

I knew the school timetable so, a few weeks before, I gave dd morning tea at recess time and also a trip to the toilet. And she had to sit quietly with the food she could expect me to send in with her. And then we did it at lunch time. Food, drink and toilet. And then we did it again at coming home time.

I did it every day for about two weeks, after we got home from holiday. I think it worked well.

She couldn’t read or write - I hadn’t been fussed about pushing her but she could probably count to five. I was religious about reading aloud to her a lot, though.

I think my youngest treated me like a mug - I went into speak to the reception teacher in the first few weeks because I couldn't get her to write her name, she didn't know her numbers, couldn't remember any letters and I was concerned she was already starting massively behind. Teacher shows me her work, she could do it all, she just didn't want to do anything at home.

I'm sure he'll be fine and will have a great time at school!

Please don't worry. Ideally he will be toilet trained and if not, please supply spare trousers and pants. Please provide spare socks too as these get wet during toilet accidents and we never have enough spares. If he can dress and undress himself for PE and for toilet accidents, all the better. The rest will come quickly. They'll get into a routine which helps.

When my son was in reception the teachers had two set times per day when they all got told to go to the toilet. I think either before or after breaktime and lunchtime.
I also think my son recognised his name before starting school and could count and recognise numbers but not much more than that. (I actually taught him ABC before school and then he had to learn a different sound for every letter because I didn't know about bloody phonics.)

Don't stress, just let the teacher know he might need reminding to go to the toilet and they might have a system in place to remind all children twice a day anyway.