To feel like I’ve wasted my life

That sounds lovely 😍 I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time.

On the plus side OP, you:

1. Are highly educated and if you wished to could earn a packet
2. Are young (get to 35 and you'll understand)
3. Can date and eventually marry in the next decade
4. Have living, supportive parents
5. Have stable accommodation and food

Came on to say I relate but I'm 37 and my life is heading towards being pretty bleak. Imagine 40 year old you looking back and wishing she was you, with a life full of opportunities ahead of you!

OP, you are (scarily) similar to how I was at your age, I'm now 30 so not much older, however my life has changed a lot during the past 4 years.

I worked for the NHS and lived with my parents, all I wanted was to become a mum, a partner and have a house, but I couldn't find anyone suitable. I have a degree and worked in that field (psychology) but was never massively ambitious and wasn't interested in doing the doctorate/any further training. I also like F1, going to cosy cottages and eating/reading all snuggled up etc!

Anyway, I very quickly met my now partner, we have a house together and 3 years later we now have a baby, a little boy. Motherhood is everything I dreamed of and more, I adore it and it does feel like my life is now complete. I never found any meaning through work, but I have found meaning through nurturing my little boy.

You too will find someone suitable and have everything you dreamed of, in the moment its easy to overlook how young you are. I would think time is running about, but it really, really isnt. I also just wanted to say that I relate to your desire to be a mother and to just be happy in a job that allows you to live. I'm lucky enough to have just handed in my notice and I'm going to spend the next few years off with my baby. I know it's not for everyone but it's all I've ever wanted.

Good luck, you will find what you want. I'm just a normal, run of the mill person too, there's nothing wrong with that, imo. Feel free to PM me if you want to speak to someone with common ground x

I’m not being goady, but you’re making it sound like marrying ‘the right person’ is a cure-all for life’s problems.

And finding a good romantic partner isn’t as simple as you make it sound - and people change! The person you fell in love with and got married to won’t stay the same the whole time you’re married to them.

You’re over-simplifying this a bit, I think!

You haven’t wasted your life. You are only 26. I am in my mid 30s and I hardly know anyone who bought a property before they turned 30. Life isn’t a tick box exercise, aim for the things that bring you happiness. If a relationship and starting a family are so important to you, why have you not been prioritising that? Personally I think it’s great to focus on building a career and independence before starting a family, but you sound thoroughly despondent. You have your whole life ahead of you and it’s what you make of it.

Hi ya lovely lady l am a lot of years in front of you , life has only started don't give up . I started as a car engineer for 20 years , l had an accident at work could no longer work in that industry was married as well . So l went to the tax office ended up as a security officer went to a tax inspector and area tax inspector, all things are possible even at your young age don't give up , very good luck with your nhs career and l hope you learn to enjoy life again and hope you find fun and a great life .very good luck ,many young people work in nhs as well , a home , children and loving familly .William

I'm guessing that this in tongues in cheek, but the two children and the husband are out of your control.

It sounds as though you should have enough money to do some travelling and pursue some hobbies and you have the skills to find a job that at least interests you. If you concentrate on that you are are much more likely to meet interesting people and meet a partner and you might be lucky enough to have children - but even if you don't you won't have wasted your life.

OP you're only 26 - you've got years to work out what you want to do.

In the meantime you should go travelling. My dd is currently in Australia having saved up a little bit from her bar job. She travelled and is now working in a bar in Australia. Having the time of her life. It doesn't have to be expensive.

I'd also say you sound very fed up, possibly depressed, certainly defeated. But you do need to change your mindset. If your priority is a husband and children, then you need to do something to get that - they won't find you. And I'd suggest that a husband will be much more attracted to you if you are excited about life and the endless possibilities. And I'll go against the grain (as a solicitor) - perhaps you should have tried qualifying into a different firm, possibly in a big city. You may not love the work, but the social life is exciting and it does set you up for other careers.

You haven't wasted your life by any means at all - look how much you've achieved before even reaching 30. They may not be achievements you value, but nevertheless they ARE achievements, and you should be proud of yourself. I bet it's taken an enormous amount of work and dedication to get those qualifications.

And now that you've got them, sit back and take stock. You've got a fantastic platform from which to launch yourself when you're ready - you have a proven academic record, and what sounds like a supportive family.

And, like some other posters, I'd suggest thinking about teaching. My oldest ds got a science degree and went to work in the city. He came home one day having jacked it in and got himself on a pgcl course. I nearly fell off my chair when he told me - he is the last person in the world I ever thought would want to go into teaching, and truthfully I didn't know if he'd like it.

He loves it. He's taught in a couple of schools in the UK, and last year he signed a 2 year contract to teach in Phuket. Doesn't know where he'll go next but he's having fun thinking about it!

You will get where you want to get. Sending positive thoughts.

My most recent work bonus was £20 !

Without sounding like I’m a prick, you are so young and have worked really hard. It sounds like you need a break.
I really hope that you achieve your dreams.

Btw, you don’t have to do everything right away and you don’t have to get it right the first time either. Take your time.

I think you're brave to make the move, good for you! It also sounds quite promising that they've already mentioned you moving up quickly.

I say give it 5 years, go hard. Sort out your retirement fund, work on saving a decent home deposit and plan your holidays. Maybe you can sort those out around F1 and football, so you've got regular things to look forward to.

Make sure that you also plan to spend a bit more time around people your own age, friends, relatives, workmates, whatever, but at least two social type activities with different people twice a week. They don't have to be expensive, but something to widen your social circle and have a bit more fun.

Wishing you well.

Life insurance- make sure you are married and most importantly marry the right man!

@WastedMyPotentialyou are highly capable. you like F1 and football. Apply for a role within that field. Find your niche. Your future kids will be thankful for all the savings you can spend on them if you choose to take a back seat in your career for a little while. Not everyone can be in your position- appreciate that. Don’t enter another training programme. The NHS can suck joy out of you as well and you may find you are unable to help people the way you think

Can you not work for the CPS?

I'm in-house for a small trade association. Quite niche but these roles do pop up from time to time.

Well if you put up with working as a solicitor between 9 and 5, you will be able to afford that lifestyle.

Work to live, OP, not live to work.

Your job doesn’t have to be forever, nor does it have to be your purpose and meaning in life, it just has to bring in enough money for you to live on and bring up a family (if that’s what you want).

I suggest working as a solicitor for now, while working out what else you’d like to do. There is no time limit on this decision, but you’ll have more options open to you once you have a bit of money saved up and a decent job on your CV.

Please please finish your law education if you’re so close to the end. You’re so young, you don’t know if it will be useful in the future even if you don’t want to be a lawyer right now.
And no - you haven’t wasted your life, it’s all before you waiting to be enjoyed

What if the good man leaves or dies? As we see all day on MN.

Don't give up on your career because of a shit job. Try being a solicitor in a firm that actually interests you, with people nearer to your age maybe.

Do it! Sack it in- find a good man to marry and start a family- you will not regret it! I’m 27 currently sat in my garden watching my 3 year old DS and 1 year old DD play together. Dinner is cooking for when DH gets back from work and there’s muffins cooking in the oven.
this is what life is about!
it’s not too late for you!

Out of interest, what move did you make in your 40s to enjoy practising law? Did you move in-house or switch to a PSL role? Just interested, because I’m considering a similar move now.