To feel like I’ve wasted my life

Honestly - I think it’s great to qualify as a solicitor at all, but I also think it’s really brave to recognise that it’s not for you at an early stage, rather than climbing the ladder and realising at the age of 40 that you’ve hated it for 15 years.

You’re only 26. You haven’t wasted your life. You’ve only been an adult for 8 years.

Put as much distance between yourself and the current situation as possible - move out, go travelling, take a job on a cruise ship or something but get away from it all and it’ll become fairly clear what the problems actually are, as they will be the ones that you take with you.
It sounds like you’ve lived your entire life up to this point to meet the expectations of others without knowing what your expectations are!
I’d recommend having a read of Directional Living by Megan Hellerer, I suspect it’ll resonate.
Good luck, half of life is learning what you don’t want and being able to walk away from it.

No no I am not upset, bless you. 😀
I am just old and tired and grumpy today.
Your idea of travelling is a good one.
I hope you can find yourself, but I still think you have done very well.

Could you take a year working abroad now you have qualified? Traveling doesn't have to mean no income.
Not owning a house or having kids yet means freedom and no ties to stay in 1 place. Take some you time and enjoy yourself, after a breather your next step may become clearer

Id like to recommend a book: how to do everything and be happy by Peter Jones. Not everything will apply to you, but some of it will.

I’m 25 years in as a solicitor and have seen lots of people move on to different things at various stages in their careers. They certainly haven’t ruined their life by getting to 26 and qualifying. Start your NHS job, see what that is like, take some time to travel if you don’t like it, try something else etc. Time is very much on your side.

💯 have some therapy and try to reframe your mindset. You're SO young. The world is your oyster. Just because you've got qualifications doesn't mean you have to follow that precise career path. You can work in-house. I work in social housing and the pay is really good. Legal expertise is invaluable in that field and there are a variety of jobs you can do that will pique your interest. You're also working for an organisation designed to help people. Look into it.

It's never too late to start again. Or change your path. I believe if you adjust your mindset, you can achieve anything. You're clearly very smart.

And if you want to fuck it all off and go travelling, do it! Now is the best time before you're settled. I cannot emphasise enough how young you are! I'm in my 40s now and only just gained my confidence and direction in life. I feel like I'm regularly restarting and changing what I want. And that's ok.

Well, I’m afraid it’s true.

Even if far too many trainees and juniors are on minimum wage, a lot of money flows through the legal professions. A lot of free pastries and wine and networking in glorious buildings, and junketing around Europe, with well dressed, well educated colleagues … And judges listening patiently and responding to you with respect, (even if you’re crying inside because the bank has declined to increase your overdraft any more). And every lay person you meet telling you how clever you must be … And your parents looking at you with light in their eyes … Not saying you won’t find that in the NHS specifically - but life outside the Law is different. And you don’t notice it until you’ve left.

Ask me how I know!

Sounds like you’re being woo is me and focusing on all the negatives and comparisons rather than sitting with yourself and working out what you want out of life. You say you’ve wasted your potential but then in the same breathe put yourself down and sound like you might just stick at it in a 9-5 to go travelling for 2 weeks next year

if you want more, go put yourself out there for it

You are also still young enough to get working visas for places like Australia or New Zealand if you wanted to travel and work.

Oh. Your fellow trainees have deposits from their parents. But you can live at home, so that's an advantage too.

Agree - buying a house at 30 is a huge achievement. Buying a house at 35, 40, 50, 60 is also a huge achievement. You’re not behind OP

Exactly this. I have a disabled DD and parenthood has been nothing like I dreamed of. I am struggling this very minute. And she's an adult. Pinning your hopes on being a mum and a wife is just so naive. It may not work out the way you expect.

Legal Recruitment Consultant is another possible job in itself of course. I know of one or two people who qualified as a lawyer then shifted into that.

I’m not invalidating your feelings at all because right now you feel lost and unhappy and that you’ve wasted time BUT please believe me 26 is so so so young.

Your 20’s are literally the ideal time in your life to pivot.

I know you feel like you should have it together right now, maybe some of your school mates are married with kids or maybe some are travelling or look like they have the ideal life but I promise we’re all feeling behind and I genuinely think that’s what your 20’s are about.

Write a list of all the things you’ve like to achieve in the next 4 years before you turn 30. It can be small things or big things. Work on yourself and don’t put yourself down. Sounds like you’ve got some self esteem / imposter syndrome going on as well.

I think it’s a massive achievement what you’ve done in your life already and for what it’s worth, it’s great that you realised at 26 that this path isn’t for you than going for it anyway and getting to 50 and really regretting it!

I don’t know anyone who bought a house before they were 30 and we are all qualified professionals!!

I think you need to make an effort to try and enjoy just being you a bit and not validated in terms of a partner/child/job/house.

What if you have a child and it’s not all you dreamed of? What if you marry and it doesn’t last forever? What if you buy a house and lose your job and can’t afford the repayments?

I hope you live a happy life, but not many people live the life they envisage in their 20s. Not meeting the right partner, infertility, infidelity, redundancy, illness - so many things can throw you off and it will be hard to overcome if you have pinned all your hopes on a particular lifestyle.

Honestly you wouldn’t. Your confidence is knocked a bit as you’ve not yet found your niche. But a very simple job at your age with your academic ability will leave you mind numbingly bored in a matter of weeks if not days.

Fingers xd you find something challenging you enjoy and with a good career structure so you can also be independent and support yourself if you don’t find a partner and want to move out your parents.

Sales roles

Buying a house at 30 would be amazing though? Most people are unable to afford a house at this age, even if ever?

You will be happy. You'll hopefully meet the man, have the kids and keep healthy. I've taken sakes riles, retail and so on. We aren't lacking, the marriage is stable and we live in a quiet place. It's doable

Maybe have a talk to these guys. I have no affiliation and have not dealt with them @WastedMyPotential

https://www.careerlegal.co.uk/sectors/paralegal/

I have had roles through Chadwick Nott, Taylor Root and Michael Page though and I've always found their consultants pleasant.

Of course it is. Contract/ commercial management is another more adminy role without so much responsibility. But you can become a lawyer for a more chilled out company or a public body and that tends to come with reduced pressure/ better working conditions. Private practice law is (IMO) awful in so many ways, but you definitely practice (or use your skills/ education) in roles that are far more pleasant in terms of work life balance.