To feel like I’ve wasted my life

Married life and children can be quite boring and unfulfilled. You are very young and have your whole life ahead of you. But try and think carefully before you commit yourself to anything new.

Do you just not want to be a practicing solicitor? Could you find a job that lets you use your qualification e.g. in house legal team for a local authority?

Think about what you really want to do and then change careers.

Plenty of people change careers.

It's great that you're seeing it through and qualifying. Have the means to earn a professional wage and provide your own living, home and security - plus security for children if you have them - is hardly a waste of time. Maybe it's because your parents are kind enough to still be providing a home for you that you don't realise what a huge deal this is. You have the luxury of pursuing a different career, knowing that you have something solid to fall back on, and you're only 26. You've done really well, OP.

Pay into a work pension

You will thank me when you are 60+

Going to Cornwall for 10 days is a great idea. I go to the seaside for a respite.

Firstly well done on your qualifications so far - you are clearly very hard working. Plus congratulations on your NHS job. If it's a lower band role hopefully it won't be too stressful and will allow you time to broaden your social life & explore your outside interests & you never know you might just meet that Mr Right!
I have a few friends in non-clinical roles in the NHS and they have moved quite quickly between roles and up through the bands into very interesting roles earning good salaries.
Please don't be too hard on yourself. Be proud that you have chosen to step away from a career that you weren't enjoying. Enjoy your new job!

I am also a lover of travelling, whether in UK or abroad. This is because you will see life from a different perspective. You will have the opportunity to meet people.
Travel does not need to be expensive if you look outside all school holiday times.

I’m a solicitor so I get it - it’s not an easy job. What specifically is it that you don’t enjoy? It sounds like you’ve done well academically and have managed to qualify so you’re obviously capable of doing it and have achieved more than a lot of people!

I know that’s not always the issue though - it’s not for everyone but what I will say is that you’re possibly at the worst stage now - you’ve studied a lot, worked hard and not been paid well. I hated my training contract but it honestly does get easier and better the more qualified you are, and of course the salary improves significantly. I think a lot of it is about finding the right firm and the right specialism which I’ve now managed to do. It is still stressful - in fact, I left my last firm because the hours weren’t conducive to family life and there was no flexibility/ support. I took a break but I’m now working for a new firm and it’s completely different - I’m really enjoying it (after considering giving it all up). Yes it still can be stressful at times, but it is manageable - I think any high paid job comes with some form of stress. I don’t work long hours though and it challenges me (in a good way).

Could you give it a try somewhere else? In-house? A different area of law? Could you apply for law related jobs instead?

Don’t lose hope - even if you do decide it’s not for you (and there’s nothing wrong in deciding that), you’ll find something else you will enjoy. For what it’s worth, I brought my first house at 28, got married just before I was 30 and had my DS at 32. A lot can change in a short space of time - there’s no rush!

It would be worth getting some professional career counselling. A lot of Universities have such a service that can be accessed even after you have graduated. They will help you refocus your thinking and ideas on future career paths. As a trained lawyer you have a lot of valuable knowledge and skills and probably more choices than you realise. Good luck!

Pack a backpack and go travelling for a month or so. Come back and then make the decision to change course or at least it'll give you a clear head to make those decisions. Teaching is a good one to do abroad for a while if you just want a change for abit. And then take stock.

I've got records and tapes older than you!

Take risks and enjoy yourself 🙂

At 26 I was working 3 different jobs to save a deposit to buy a property & I did not live at home with my parents.

Yes I saved & bought property

I never thought that I would not achieve my goal

My top tips are

If anyone offers you an opportunity to move to a different department or location- take it !
Opportunities do not appear frequently

Make the most of meeting people everywhere, you never know who or why you meet someone

You are young & healthy, make the most of this because if you get old these do not last

Be thankful for the small things

Be kind

greif you are 26 - there is plenty of time to make
life better but it’s up to you

use what you have learnt about yourself and start building your life

i am
trying not to laugh as I know how much you feel this but really don’t worry!

I’m sending hugs, OP 💕

First of all, I really feel for you. I also echo others’ posts on here so far that you’re still very young and have the rest of your life to figure out what you want to do. By posting on here, you are starting to realise and crystallise in your mind what you would like to do in life, which is a really positive and constructive thing to do. Well done for being proactive.

I was in a similar position to you about 7/8 years ago, when I was the same age you are now, and where I felt totally lost and confused about what I wanted to do. I actually posted a thread about it, which I’ve linked to here, in case it helps: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2782931-Help-Desperate-to-give-up-teacher-training.

In terms of next steps, would you find it helpful to find a careers coach and/or a therapist to help work out how you are feeling, potential career options and next steps?

Do you have any money saved up to do other things too - e.g. for travelling, which you mentioned you’d like to do?

Book yourself a trip.
Just you. 10 days of being away from your current existence.

Work is only 1/3 of the day M-F.
What makes you happy the rest of the time?

Of course it’s disappointing to put so much effort and time into something to decide you don’t want to pursue it. However, you are only 26 and it’s far better you come to that realisation now than in your 50’s. Look to the future because you have a whole life to live.

I haven’t read all of the three but your posts have made me fill up! You’re so young!! You have lots of time. All I ever wanted was to be a mummy and it’s been SOOOOOO hard! I wished I’d studied and worked as hard as you as now in the wrong side of 50 with a low paid job and broke! If you’re only on minimum wage and hate it you can do something different with no pressure to earn more! Or, just go travelling while you can! From another perspective it seems like you have freedom to make some wild choices! Go for it xxx

You sound like you might be really burnt out, not surprising after studying and working so hard. You've done so well to get to the point where you're qualified! I would advise maybe not making any big life-changing decisions just now and give yourself some time to think. Can you take some time off (either annual leave or can you take a longer sabbatical)? Can you change jobs now you are qualified? Can you find something that is less intense and pays you more? Will you be working fewer hours now you don't have to study? Maybe it isn't the whole career that you hate (you did choose it for a reason in the first place!) but just your current situation.

26 and your life is over?

What about the other 74 years?

Have you thought about doing something in drama?

For what it’s worth, I think you did the right thing to not quit after the first year and see it through to qualification.

I think you probably feel the way you do due to the firm you work for. My DH qualified at a small firm and hated every second. He moved after qualification to a huge firm and the change in him was remarkable. Broad, varied workload, lots of young people, great social
life, clear progression for those who wanted it, lots of different opportunities, working alongside clever, inspiring people.

But then, partnerships aren’t for everyone. Have you considered moving to corporate in-house? Or to a charity? I have a few friends who trained as lawyers and now work in charities where they feel a lot more valuable.

As you can see, my recommendation would be to remain in the law. Not because I think the legal profession is brilliant. But because you have invested so much time and effort thus far. Also because your ultimate dream is to settle down, have kids, and focus on family life. Getting a better paid legal role will help you save for that. You could maybe speak to a legal recruiter to get an idea of some career options?

Overall, just wanted say that you’re only 26. So many 26 year olds don’t have everything figured out. Try not to stress.