Mothers chihuahua ate half of my babies grape

This!!
Invite your sister to your house in future.
I wouldn't be taking my kids through the door of your mother's house unless the dog was crated at all times.

Don't pay and don't go and visit again.
If you want to meet your sister meet her somewhere else.

Can you leave the kids at home with your husband/partner if you want to visit your sister? Or just take 3yo?

chihuahuas are feisty and often difficult to train - they’re also tiny and vulnerable to being physically hurt or poisoned. Seems a difficult combination with a baby and a toddler. So can you go alone? Or just take 3yo? And never take grapes or chocolate or raisins etc?

she was being unreasonable to send you the bill

+1 to this, particularly if Grandmother of the Year pushes the point about the vet’s bill any further.

If you knew that dogs can’t eat grapes, knew that your toddler is going through a stage of throwing food and knew that the dog will try to steal food then this is absolutely on you. Why did you bring grapes to feed your child instead of the many, many other foods which are not dangerous to dogs? I’d be very upset if a relative came to my house and brought in a food which is poisonous to cats and didn’t take extra care to ensure my cats couldn’t get near it. You were in the chihuahua’s home, you should have been more careful, none of the irrelevant stuff about the relationship between you and your mother is the dogs fault and you should have made an effort not to let it get hold of a toxic foodstuff you were handling. I don’t think it’s unfair of your mother to ask you to pay the vet bill, she shouldn’t have to worry about visitors giving toxic foods to her dog in her own house.

I can't imagine one little grape is going to do much harm. I suspect your family are trying it on. It's pretty shocking that they are more worried about their dog eating something it shouldn't, and not worried about the fact that it is biting your children.

Make life easier for yourself, don't go round and if your eldest is really that worried about seeing your sister meet in the park or somewhere else.

I was attacked by a dog when I was a child and it is a trauma that has stayed with me into adulthood. Don't take that risk with your children.

Dog sounds like a little c*
i’ve heard they’re territorial but that’s ridiculous

So if the dog isn’t allowed outside, where is it doing its business, in the house?? It just stink and be filthy!!!

Half a grape is the least important issue here, if it's true

This is going to get deleted.

In the 90s I had a dog who regularly ate grapes as a treat and was partial to a mincepie. He never seemed to take any harm, and there was no publicity about dogs being poisoned by grapes. Your family don't sound very nice, I wouldn't make any effort to see them in current circumstances.

YANBU. Don’t pay a penny towards the vet’s fees.

This sounds like something you’d see on an episode of It’s Me Or The Dog. Your mother isn’t training this dog or walking it and this is where a lot of the problems start and end. I think we can infer your mother is, at best, indifferent about the fact the dog has been aggressive towards and has bitten one of your children. That’s horrendous!

It sounds like you’ve been the only adult in the room by putting the dog in its crate to avoid possible further harm happening to your children. As has been said already, that dog should always be in the crate when you’re visiting with the children based on previous experience.

Regarding “grapegate,” you are not to blame. At the time you were feeding your 1yo the dog was upstairs. The fact it ran downstairs was not within your control. What was your mother doing at that point?
You mentioned the dog has been reactive before when you’ve tried to take things away from it: again, that’s on your mother, who is not training the dog.
It’s your mother who needs a wake-up call here. If that dog was better trained/under better control, episodes like this could be better avoided.

I’m also on the side of not going around any longer too. Children can pick up on people not wanting them around as has been said. I can vouch for that only too well!
It’s sad about your older sister. There is a limit to what you can do about that. Perhaps you can suggest to her she meets you away from the house? Ultimately if that doesn’t happen it’s not on you.

The unreasonable bit is you taking your children to a place where they aren't safe

Best title I have seen on here 🤣. OP stop visiting it is not safe for your children and your mother clearly doesn't care. If your siblings wants to see your children they could come to your home.

I'm sorry did I read that right? You go visit a place frequently where a dog bites your babies face? Why do you put your baby at risk again and again? I wouldn't give a shit about the dog eating grapes if it had bitten my child more than once

Why are y you taking your children where they get their faces bitten?
the grapes are the least of your worries

It makes a lot more sense when you re-read it and realise it says ‘chihuahua’ not ‘chinchilla’. Couldn’t understand why she kept going on about a dog… duh!!

it bites my children and now my baby is crawling it bites his face

But you're posting about a vet's bill??

How can you ever have taken your children back there after the first bite time one of the was bitten?

Make your children's safety and wellbeing your priority. Then you won't be taking them there again.

What were you doing feeding grapes, a major choking hazard, to your baby? You are lucky only the dog ate them. I wouldn't be happy at babies throwing food on the floor but I would not ask you to pay the vet bill for my dog (for whom grapes are very dangerous). It sounds to me as if visits to this household are so fraught it isn't worth the effort. Invite your sister to yours instead.

So you choose to take your very young children to a house where their dog regularly harassed and bites them, but your main concern is surrounding a grape?

I think you need to reassess your priorities to be honest OP.

I wouldn't apologise and I certainly wouldn't pay. I'd also not visit there again. If your sisters want to see your children, then invite them to come to see you.

Don’t pay but don’t take your DC to a house with a dog that terrorises them! Why are you putting them in harms way? Is your adult sibling not capable of leaving the house to come and meet you? Im gobsmacked you take them there and allow them to crawl around near the dog.

Just dont go , don't reply to her and don't pay the bill.
It all sounds awful.
Tell your son he can phone your sister anytime.

The baby threw half a grape and the dog ate ‘them’ up?