Kids eating all my food

My house growing up was also the one that my friends wanted to come to and my parents encouraged this so they could keep an eye on me and also meet my friends. So I understand that you don't want to become unwelcoming!

@Sunshineismyfavourite has the right idea about what to provide - you can also have a chat with DS about what's out of bounds, and that you expect dirty dishes and cutlery into the dishwasher after. If they're good kids they should be able to stick to the rules.

I was like you OP, loved having my dc’s friends round. I still always keep a few pizzas from Aldi in the freezer for any of their friends who visit.

My mum was the same. All local kids were welcome at our house. And you DO win prizes for being a ‘cool mum’ (a welcoming mum) because all my friends remember my mum and how kind she was to them. My eldest dc’s friends are now in their 20’s and always say hello when I see them around town. I am very fond of them.

I know parents who can’t wait to get rid of their own kids let alone allow other kids in their house. Can’t relate to that at all.

Why is there a houseful of endless junk such as crisps and snacks enough to feed several teenage boys.

Buy things like fruit and nuts or they can make some toast. See how often they come back.

They come to yours as it is full of junk food

Big loaf of bread butter and jam. Big box of Aldi cereal and 4 pints of milk. When it's gone, it's gone!

No need to buy expensive snacks and crisps. It will annoy me also!

Don't do this! Makes you sound like a total tightwad! Either have them round and provide cheap snacks or say no.

Why is it the other mums responsibility and not the fathers too? We are our own worst enemies sometimes, always make it the woman’s fault.

you have answers to solve this, but complaining and refusing to do anything about it, like not have the food stuffs available, is a decision you need to take responsibility for.

Sort out cheap things you don’t mind them raiding:
pack of crumpets,
loaf of bread,
packets of cheap noodles, etc

If they’re actually hungry they will be greatful, and if it doesn’t get eaten then it’s no big deal.

I quite miss those days. Mine are in their 20s now and when my son’s friend came over the weekend they put together a charcuterie board because they’re all low carb foodie snobs now 🙂

Why not form a WhatsApp group with the boys' parents, then send a message along the lines of: "Love having the boys at ours but they're eating me out of house and home! Would much appreciate any contributions - edible or monetary, many thanks"

If you can afford it, just keep doing it.

how great is it that they feel happy and welcome in your house. They have somewhere safe to be. You have a view into their teenage world. That’s worth a lot.

it is annoying that the other families (not just the mothers!!!) haven’t acknowledged this. I would be sending my son over with snacks to share.

if you know them maybe message the parents and suggest they get in the habit of bringing snacks as they are ploughing through your reserves!

At that age I would have had a good sense of what food was free to take and what might be reserved - either for dinner or so that other people got a look in. I would sit down with your son and ask him to help solve the problem together. Assuming we want his mates to come and hang out how can we manage it so that they get fed and you still have food left in the kitchen.

Possible solution, certain food is off limits, but you and son agree that you will buy a certain set of food that he knows he has a free rein with. He's old enough that he should be learning to plan this stuff as part of the household - and it will be very useful when he moves out and doesn't have much cash.

But approach this as a problem for you both to solve together, not he's a naughty child and here's some dry bread 😉

I have taken to hiding crisps and biscuits in the boot of my car under my spare coat. I then top up occasionally . They have hollow legs

How do you feel about being perceived as a doormat?

You are just worried your son and maybe the other kids and their parents won't "like you" give your son a food ration budget for the day and when it is gone it is gone. You wont win prizes for being the cool mum.

Kids eat because it's there, not because they are hungry. So I'd leave a supply of cheap frozen pizzas, loaves of cheap sliced bread, pots of cheap jam - basically cheap, easy prep stuff, and hide away everything else. Then they've got food but they're not eating your meal plan for the fortnight.

I agree with your husband - lock the snacks away (or store them somewhere that isn't accessible) I have a son a similar age and the amount of food they can get through as a group is insane. I definitely couldn't afford to feed them all every day,, and when he goes to someone else's place I always send him with snacks.

Definitely lock some stuff away or at least put it in a cupboard that he and his mates are banned from touching. Teenage boys are gannets. Put some ground rules in place - toast only maybe.

Surely all you need to do is tell your son whats OK to offer his friends and what isn't. And make sure that you buy cheap and cheerful stuff that they are allowed to eat. I echo the white bread, jam, bananas and cheap supernoodles. Plus I'd also have value beans, cheap biscuits and some ice poles. Value squash for drinks (plus cups of tea!).

If you son is offering out large amounts of expensive food to his mates, then you need to address that with your son, not guests who are accepting what is offered, nor the parents of the guests, who probably have no idea that they're being offered huge quantites of junky snacks at your house.

This.

I think its a good idea as pp have suggested to leave a tray out with stuff they can have.. and also to take your son through the details. He is the host. He needs to tell them what is acceptable.. Its nice that his friends like coming to your house and you get a good idea of who and how they are. It sounds like they behave themselves.. so its probably because the food issue haven't been spelt out to them. Maybe suggest to your son that he tells them to bring a contribution when they come

Not if any of them want to go round there again?

Come on, the bar is so low there you're tripping over it.

I would never have dreamed of leaving my best friend's house in a state, and her parents would never have allowed it anyway.

Well if you're worried about UPF why not make your own flapjacks and high protein bars? You'll be in control of what goes in - oats, nuts, dried fruit, honey.........cheap and nutritional!

Yes who wants teenage boys making cookies in the kitchen. Every surface will be covered. Easier and cheaper actually to get them out of a package

And leave a lovely mess for OP to clean up when she comes home?

Don’t buy it. Provide yoghurts, fruit, vegetable sticks, boiled eggs etc.