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Original poster

To only invite people to only evening wedding reception?

81 replies

Amby99 · 19/08/2025 13:01

I feel really bad but our wedding is priced per head for the drinks reception / wedding breakfast etc at nearly £200 pp. For this reason we really do have to limit numbers so it doesn’t start getting ridiculous. our wedding is close family (which is already ~ 40 people with their partners) and then about 10-15 close friends. For the evening do, we can invite up to 100 people free of charge.

There are some people that our parents have requested to invite (even just for the evening). For example my aunty (by marriage) son from her marriage previously before my uncle has been requested. But I haven’t seen him in 5 years and aren’t particularly close but we would like him and his partner at the evening do.

is it offensive though? I’m worried it comes across like ‘you’re not important enough to come to the ceremony but you are to the evening’…

Also do I do evening invites? Or just let them know?

OP posts:
Bambamhoohoo · 19/08/2025 13:13

Babyboomtastic · 19/08/2025 13:11

They're common enough that I think it's vaguely socially acceptable, though I don't think it's appropriate personally for someone that either has to travel for or you haven't seen him for a long time.

Nearly £200 a head sounds like a complete rip-off to me, when I expect you getting the same sort of meat with some form of potato and sides that most places give you. I'm sure it's a lovely venue, but I think you have to work through your priorities as to whether the venue is more important than who you can share it with. That's a personal call only only you can make.

I don’t know. We paid £120 per head 17 years ago and that wasn’t that unusual?

I am miffed by people saying evening guests are vaguely acceptable. Every home (as opposed to abroad!) wedding I’ve never been to has had them. It’s part of the normal running of a wedding to have evening guests?!

Drowningincokezero · 19/08/2025 13:12

This has surely always been ok? There has always been such a thing as an evening only Guestlist and it's not offensive at all imo. It makes sense that not everyone can be catered for, or would be close enough to invite to the actual ceremony, but you would like to have them join you in the celebrations afterwards. When I got married 20 years ago, evening guests were properly invited with a paper invitation and required to RSVP as a buffet was provided for the evening and I needed to know numbers. Unless anything has drastically changed in wedding etiquette I wouldn't bat an eyelid at an evening invitation and would take it as meaningful and touching that they wanted me there.
Congratulations and I hope you have a wonderful day x

Babyboomtastic · 19/08/2025 13:11

They're common enough that I think it's vaguely socially acceptable, though I don't think it's appropriate personally for someone that either has to travel for or you haven't seen him for a long time.

Nearly £200 a head sounds like a complete rip-off to me, when I expect you getting the same sort of meat with some form of potato and sides that most places give you. I'm sure it's a lovely venue, but I think you have to work through your priorities as to whether the venue is more important than who you can share it with. That's a personal call only only you can make.

ShesTheAlbatross · 19/08/2025 13:07

I think evening only invitations see common enough that most people are ok with it.

Unless you are asking people to travel long distances just for the evening.

ETA - it’s silly to say you’re worried that it comes across like they’re not important enough to come to the rest of the wedding. It doesn’t come across that way, that is literally what is happening. As I said, I think most people are fine with it. But let’s not pretend it’s something it’s not!

Bambamhoohoo · 19/08/2025 13:07

Evening guests are fine, although of course you are saying they’re only important enough to be at the day- but they’re not are they? Surely people can’t get offended by that.

just be clear with them. I’ve been to more than one wedding where people have believed they are going to the wedding to find the ceremony was done with 10 people and they’re coming along to the after party. Not being clear will cause problems

ForFunGoose · 19/08/2025 13:05

I would pick a venue with a cheaper price per head or have no evening invitations.

Coming to your free party will cost the guests money and seems really grabby imo