To only invite people to only evening wedding reception?

I wouldn't (and didn't). I think two tier invites are horrible.

Yes it’s fine. I had all my work colleagues (too many to invite all day) and my neighbours to evenIng do. Anyone who had to travel a distance came all day as well as close family and friends.
congratulations and have a wonderful wedding day x

I’ve recently been invited to an evening reception by somebody I used to be quite good friends with but haven’t seen for a couple of years. It’s a long way, I don’t know anybody else who is going and it would involve paying for a hotel so that’s a definite no from me. If it was e.g. a bunch of workmates who don’t have far to travel and would have fun together then that would be a different matter. No judgement, about the evening invite and it doesn’t change my warm feelings for him, it’s just not something I want to do.

Tbh, I'd just push back and say "Sorry, we can't afford it. It's a small wedding so we can only invite close family and friends".

It used to be much more common to have an evening list and I really liked it, think it should be brought back! Great opportunity to come to the fun part i.e. the party without having to sit through a whole day and all the tedious pictures etc, less expectation to dress super fancy and give a generous gift etc and on the bride and groom's part it's an opportunity to include a wider circle than they might be able to accommodate for the full thing which surely can only be a good thing. I would want it to come back as a more widespread practice TBH!

That being said there are some ground rules / etiquette that should be stuck to i.e. :

-Don't use the evening list as a way of pointedly snubbing people, make sure the dividing lines are clear and fair e.g. don't invite all your cousins to the whole thing but DH's only to the evening, even if you are closer to one side that the other you risk offense if you do this.

-Evening list should only be for local guests only, anyone travelling a distance should come to the whole thing

-Be clear and thoughtful about what you're providing for evening guests by way of food, if you invite them to come for 5 and provide only peanuts and booze you are asking for trouble. Its lovely if you can stretch to a buffet or light supper of some kind for all guests, or if you can't do this perhaps invite evening guests a little later to ensure they have time to eat properly before coming

-On a similar note be realistic about timings and think about at what point the evening guests should arrive and how will that fit what your other guests are doing/order of the day. Even though like I said I have no problem at all being invited evening only, it is a bit galling to turn up at the stated time only to be herded into a side room with the other b-listers to wait until the rest of the party is ready for you, or have to hang around standing awkwardly at the back because the meal and speeches are still ongoing, particularly if there isn't a bar or food for you (yes this has happened to me more than once). Or even worse my friend was one of only a few evening guests at a school friends wedding in a stately home, on arrival (on time as per her invitation) there was no-one to greet her or signage as to where to go, no other guests around anywhere, the bar man vaguely pointed her towards a heavy panel door which she pushed noisily through only to discover she'd made a grand entrance onto a lit up stage right in the middle of the most tearful moment of the father of the bride's speech, she had to do her best to exit gracefully but all eyes were definitely on her. Bride was not best pleased, but what did she expect to happen! Don't be that person!

Nothing wrong with inviting them but it is undeniably a two tier approach. Many people wouldn’t be bothered at that though. I personally don’t accept evening invites as in my experience, you turn up and alot of guests are already tipsy, you’re tripping over discarded fascinators and find yourself making small talk “how was the ceremony, where the speeches funny” etc. If it was extremely local I might go but if not, no chance.

I have been to both all day and just the evening not the least bit offended. You do need to provide some sort of food in the evening.

It's fine. The evening is the best part!
Can't tell if you are feeing people though if it's free??

It's absolutely fine OP. I think you should do formal evening invites.

Evening invitations are absolutely fine.

Are they local, then it’s fine.
I think it’s very very important to welcome evening guests and organise a drink for them. I think letting people wander in and then ignoring them is the worst behaviour.
I was just telling someone about my closest friends wedding. We all got evening invites and then she did her very best to avoid us all night, I never saw the groom. There was zero point being there in the end.

I dont mind evening only invites tbh! If people find it offensive, then they can say no.

What is the food you're paying £11,000 for?
Just make it clear on the invitation it's not a wedding invite, just the party, otherwise people might spend money on a gift or new outfit.

One wedding we went to was a hog roast in the church hall with guests bringing desserts, need to normalise modest weddings.

Perfectly fine, and yes do evening invites so they know what time to arrive. It’s very commonplace!!

Sometimes I think I live on a different planet to people on here… if a cousin I only see once or twice a year at best invited me to the full wedding I’d be genuinely baffled. Night do invitations are for random cousins, great aunties and friends from various places. Not one person I’ve ever met who has got married in this country hasn’t had day and night do guests.

Don’t over think it OP, it’s really not as deep as everyone here would have you believe.

Your choice, but do expect some people to not come.

£200 a head though! WTAF?! My niece had a nice big wedding recently - in a big stately home - and that was £80 per head. WTF? £200 per head?! If you have 50 people, that's £10,000! Just for the bloody meal. What planet is this on?!

!

Evening invitations aren’t unusual in the UK, but are unlikely to be appreciated by evening invitees living far away enough for it to be impractical to get there and back for the evening. We only invited people who were local to the evening bit and provided a welcome drink and basic evening buffet/cake.

I don’t know- should anyone expect to have to invite work colleagues, mums friends and a random auntie you don’t know to their wedding ceremony regardless of budget?

evening guests are a way to keep everyone happy- mums work friends get to see her as the proud mum of the bride, everyone can catch up with second cousins they haven’t seen for 8 years, etc etc. it doesn’t have to be negative.

I mean honestly weddings are pretty dull to spend 14 hours at so if I got to show up to evening say hi and have a dance I’d be happy, if it wasn’t close family or friends.

In the real world its absolutely fine. On MN its at the same level as requiring your guests to sacrifice their first born child as part of the ceremony

(Caveat... as long as it isn't your Grandmother or similar!)

I don't know if it's offensive as such.

But I do think it's ridiculous to insist on a wedding so expensive that you can't really afford to invite so many people to it.

That sort of thing (£200 per head) is best left to those who can comfortably afford that sort of thing.