To only invite people to only evening wedding reception?

So I’d be expected to give a present but only good enough for the evening? Yup I’d be insulted. Much more than if I wasn’t asked at all.

How ridiculous.

Why should someone have a cheaper wedding, probably at a venue they don’t want, just so they can afford to have a load of people attend who they’re not that bothered about?

It used to be perfectly normal to have two tier weddings - close family and closest friends for the sit down meal and other mates/work colleagues/more distant family members for an evening party.

At the end of the day, people can turn down the invitation if they don’t want to come. I quite happy to get evening invitations.

Ive only ever been to weddings where you have both a daytime and evening list, including my own! Seems completely reasonable to me. I just wouldn’t expect any presents from those coming in the evening. It’s your day, do what you want!

Surely it’s worse not to be invited at all.

We couldn’t invite everyone we wanted to as the largest room at the registry office only held 50 people so there was no way around it. Those invites went to close family and friends and anyone who was travelling. Workmates and more distant friends were invited to the evening only.

Once the venue is easy to get to and not hours away or something it’s fine

we did this just had parents siblings and aunties and uncles at the main bit
150 in evening (friends and cousins) for the party we had a great dj and it was really fun and went to 4am

the aunties and uncles were gone early and then the younger crew took over !

venue was city centre so easy for most guests

My day wedding guest list was 50 only due to cost. Similar to you it was around £200 a head. We choose the same beautiful and thoughtful invitations for the evening reception and ensured the guests had food and cake for the evening. We also had a non-alcoholic cocktail bar for the evening drinks reception which went down well. Each guest was allocated a drink.

I did a bouquet ribbon cutting which included all the females after the first dance. This way it does not matter if they are single/partnered, younger/older it is about new beginnings.

I had the same worries and plenty of people said to me they understood the cost of weddings and they were happy to be invited to the party element.

Both dd1 and dd2 had everybody full day attendance. Dd1 actually included 2 nights accommodation for all her guests - originally 50 but reduced to 30 due to covid. Dd2 had 100 guests.

I think evening invitations are fine if the evening guests live locally (no overnight in hotel/ very long drives). As long as there are drinks/ buffet food then most people would be fine. I had evening do guests (parents of the bride and groom friends/ next door neighbors who they have lived next to for decades, distant cousins that are seen once every few years and get a yearly Xmas card from, work colleagues on both sides,).

As a PP said, balance it so there are people on both sides of the family coming to the evening do.

I do also agree with PP about venue expense, especially if you are getting it in the neck from family. My own cousin has fallen into the trap of a very expensive per head venue and is having to seriously cull the guest list (she's down to bridesmaids only no partners, direct family only - no cousins/ aunts/ uncles, cutting step siblings out, no family children) she's getting it from all sides - no one is happy at all and people are taking offense left right and centre . At this point I wouldn't be surprised if there is a charge for oxygen at this venue, everything seems to come at a cost. I do think some venues (especially the £xxx per head ones) are very good at inciting panic into brides. My cousin looked at a few, they all started with earliest we could fit you in would be 2028, if you want a June/ July/ August Saturday, earliest would be 2029, then followed with x amount of brides come and visit us each week so dates go very fast so you need to make a decision to use us fast. My aunt said it was very much high pressure sales technique not dissimilar to a dodgy car dealer. When she picked her venue at £xxx per head, surprise surprise, they had an early September Saturday in 2026. So yes whilst you may have 10+ brides a week view your venue, it seems they do not all like the price tag.

Posters on here have very strange ideas about evening invites. A lot of people would rather just have an evening invite, there's no pressure on a new outfit, time off work etc. It also livens things up having new people join you. It also means that the day guests can leave, without the venue starting to look empty.

Evening invites are fine. Only on mn are people weird about it. I had about 50 extra people for evening, friends of family and distant cousins etc. all who rsvp’d came, some travelled, no complaints, or if they did complain it never got back to me. Im not sure I had declines come to think of it.

Been invited as evening guest aswell from work colleagues, cousin, etc, was just lovely to be considered, and I get it, I’m not the centre of that particular couples universe so its fine!

Have the wedding you want, go for it!

My venue (and many we looked at) charged by head with a minimum spend (ie £120 per head with a minimum £10k spend) for the whole wedding- so venue hire etc was included in the by head cost.

so you can max out your heads or just not book it if the capacity doesn’t work for you.

If it's not far to travel then of course you can have evening invites - that's very normal!

Have I understood correctly that the venue are charging £200/head for a daytime meal and you can have 100 people free in the evening including food and drink?

That is bizarre charging.

Nothing wrong with having evening only invites for people who are not close - most people do it.

If you are not going to change your venue and allow you to be ripped off (in my opinion), then evening invites should be for local people only. Be prepared for some to decline and do not hold that against any who do.

If they are local, it's usually fine. If they don't want to come, they don't have to

I think it's fine provided those people aren't travelling miles and miles. For example, when we were married, we knew lots of young professionals in our church but not all that well. There was quite a large group of them that we invited to the service and the evening do, but not the meal in between. They were in their own city and knew each other so I imagine they either went to their own homes to grab food between, or went out in the city together. Think it's rude not to feed people who have travelled a long way to a strange place, who would then have to get their own meal out somewhere.

I've never heard of an everybody full day attendance. It's always been so many to full day and so many to night part. Yes separate invitations for each.

Mn can be weird about evening invites. But it’s very normal. I had some friends and work colleagues who I wanted to see but couldn’t justify a day invite to. They came it was lovely.

wouldn't expect anyone to travel far /incur expensive cost. Nor would I send a a gift registry (or similar) to evening guests.

It’s your wedding and so just have people you want there. My husband is an only child and only has 2 cousins. He didn’t want his cousins there so we didn’t. Meant more guests for me

when we got married we had similar venue type (cost us about 150 a head) we could only fit a certain amount of people so we presented our guest list to both sides parents if they weren't happy or wanted others to come they had to remove someone- we paid for it ourselves. we didn't want people at the wedding we didn't see or know. I don't really belive in evening invites now it's not really the done thing anymore I don't think. keep to whoever you want on the guest list don't let anyone pressure you to invite so or so

I'm not keen, I would rather have a more modest do than tell people which of them we care about and which ones we don't. With the possible exception of work colleagues, who are usually all local and a bit different to close friends and family.

You say you'd do an evening only invite to your aunt's son. Does she has other children who are your cousins and who are invited to the full day? Would you have some cousins come to the day and some only to the evening? I'd be a bit uncomfortable with treating people in the same family on different "tiers".

Evening invites create such horror on MN, meanwhile in the real world they’re not uncommon and people only complain (fairly) if they aren’t catered for or it’s going to cost people. Twenty odd years ago when I got married we had 150 people for the whole thing and we had around 20 work colleagues each as evening guests at a beautiful but extortionate location. We had an open bar and sweet and savoury food for them and they were more than happy. Congrats OP. I hope your day turns out wonderful.

It’s pretty standard to split the guests, we did at our wedding. No explanation needed, just send 2 sets of invites. Have a fabulous day :-)