Is my partner being unreasonable?

Why have you leapt to the defence of an arsehole man?

I'm not scaremongering at all.

I would never have even considered using white noise for my baby . But if I had I would have investigated all the possible effects - good and bad - of using it. A baby is too precious to take chances with.

If OP.has looked at the pros and cons and decided that she considers it a positive and safe thing to do for her child that is entirely up to her. Her child her choice.

But making a considered judgement is not scare mongering.

It’s not ‘fair enough’ for dad to do no nights or morning get ups just because he’s working. You’re working non stop caring for a tiny human all day and keeping them alive - you will burn out.

He should be at least doing 1 or 2 full nights and maybe doing that last feed each night so you can head to sleep earlier, alternate on his night.

Pop a bed in the spare room so you can get a solid nights sleep on your night off and he can head in there if he doesn’t want the white noise

I would be tempted to fully wake him every time baby wakes up..

I don’t think either of you are in the wrong - I think the best thing to do is a buy a bed for the spare bedroom and you and baby sleep in there, if it’s going to be baby’s bedroom anyway why not get baby used to sleeping in their room now, all you will need to do in the future is get baby used to sleeping in there without you.

Take it in turns to sleep on the sofa.

Considering OP said it’s at a very low volume and it would have to be at a high volume, close to the baby and for extended period to even have a chance at causing issues, I would say you’re the one not checking facts before scaremongering on here!

You're being ridiculous.

The OP has just grown a human.

She's now working keeping her new human alive.

She's working. Her work is just as important and valuable as her partners.

How horribly misogynistic to suggest her work is worth less and therefore she doesn't deserve sleep.

He expects you to sleep on the sofa while recovering from childbirth. Wow, what a prince.

The white noise has to be calibrated at a low enough level not to damage the baby's hearing. Apparently some of the equipment being sold is actually calibrated at too high a level and can cause damage.
It's not just me saying this. There are legitimate concerns about the use of white noise.
And considering a child's well being is at stake perhaps you should check facts before pooh poohing concerns.

Neither are unreasonable, get a cheap bed for the spare room, you will probably use it for years anyway

Baby’s dad should be on the sofa. He should not be doing everything he can to help you and baby get rest, even if he is working.

then he has to deal with his own sleep on the side. He can start by going to bed earlier. You mention moving to the sofa at 12. He would get more sleep if he set himself up on the sofa at a better hour.

And what kind of useless piece of skin allows his child and mother of said child recovering from birth to sleep on a sofa downstairs?!

Why not? Im sure when op goes back to work she'll be expected to work AND do wake ups in the night.

Men need to parent from the beginning including night waking for feeds or nappy changes.

Fucking sick of this moddycoddlying of new fathers when women give birth or have major surgery and are immediately lef to it.

Just put an airbed in the spare room. I'm sure he wouldn't mind sleeping there.

I personally find it difficult to sleep with white noise, or in a sitting room if there was traffic coming in and our (eg making bottles at night).

Have you asked him if he'd be happy to go into the spare room?

I couldn't sleep with white noise either, but he should have been the one on the sofa

I do feel bad for your partner. If he can't sleep with the white noise, then he can't. I hate white noise.

Is there a reason he can't sleep in the sitting room, or does waking/crying baby unexpectedly intrude that place at all hours?

Hes not telling you to go to the sitting room, you are. So he technically hasnt banished you. Could you try removing white noise from baby and get her acclimatised to silence? Or change the background noise to low volume waves or a nature sound?

If bottle feeding your husband should be helping even more to help you both get some quality sleep, wherever that is. You can go to bed early and he can stay up to do the last feed of the night. Alternatively he gets up a bit earlier for work and does morning routing while you get a bit more sleep / shower. You’re a team.

Have you another bedroom, i.e. is she going to have her own room at some point? If so, sleep in there with her until you feel happy letting her sleep alone. If not, you need to move soon anyway!

Damaging the child’s hearing? Give it a rest 😂 it’s very low level background white noise not a bloody orchestra in the bedroom!

We slept in separate rooms while babies were small (seemed pointless both of us being awake and DC were EBF so he couldn't help much in the night anyway). I don't think you should be on the couch though. We had a single bed in the babies room. If you don't have space for that I think you should buy a sofa bed or camping bed for the lounge that he sleeps on so you get the bedroom back and can get some sleep

I can’t imagine my H ever putting himself first like this, and it makes me so sad to read about all these cunt men treating women and children so poorly.

what utter rubbish. I went back to work when DD was about 6 months and still waking plus DS would wake up for the day at 5.30. I functioned, as do millions of others - unless he is a bomb disposal expert or air traffic control, he can function on somewhat less than ideal sleep like most people do.

He goes on the sofa, wears earplugs or (if you aren't breastfeeding) he gets up every time she wakes when the white noise machine isn't on. He can't refuse to get up with her and stop you from doing something that helps her sleep. That's totally unreasonable of him.