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AIBU?

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Original poster

1 year old at nursery watching a tablet

67 replies

FlipperyGibbet · 18/08/2025 21:42

AIBU for expecting my 1 year old to not be shown programmes on a tablet when she's at nursery? She has just started her second week, does 4 full days a week (Mon - Thurs) in the baby room of approx. 12 babies up to 14 months old.

Last week DH collected and was told she enjoyed watching Mr Tumble on the tablet but was initially unsure. He replied that she'd probably been unsure because she has zero screen time at home. They said they just have it on whilst cleaning up after lunch. We were surprised, but figured that we couldn't really argue if that's what they needed to do.

This afternoon DH picked her up and as he got to the door he could see all the babies sat in a semi circle, again watching the tablet. No post-lunchtime cleaning up was happening and a key worker was sat with them. They were all strapped into their little highchairs too.

The whole thing just makes me feel a bit sad. We get that screen time has a place, but we've spent the past year actively choosing not to have any screen time at all. Our DD will happily play with / read books, or play with a toy and amuse herself. The fact that this has happened twice in 5 days makes me feel uncomfortable. Am I over reacting and is this a normal occurrence for 1 year olds in nursery nowadays?

OP posts:
exaltedwombat · 19/08/2025 17:53

'Screen time' has become thoroughly demonised hasn't it! Never quite understood why. Yes, a lot of screen media is rubbish. But so is a lot of printed matter, but we WORSHIP reading!

FullOfMomsense · 19/08/2025 17:40

They're bullshitting you, it makes no sense at all. Definitely look at another provider, if they're lying about their poor practice they'll be lying about other things too.

Bananachimp · 19/08/2025 17:13

FlipperyGibbet · 19/08/2025 16:55

Update:
Had a meeting with the nursery manager this afternoon and were told that the reason the babies are kept in their highchair seats and allowed to watch a programme for 5 - 10 mins after tea is because of the risk of allergies. Babies are weaning and have allergies so it's important for them to clean up without them crawling in the zone.

We've said our DD has no allergies and is eating solid food safely so surely she doesn't fall into this category. We were told that our DD can do something different but they wouldn't want her to feel excluded.

It's a shame as I feel the justification for this was ready and waiting for us during this meeting. As so many of you have suggested, I think we might have to look at some other nurseries for her 😔

What a load of shit

THISnewbeginning · 19/08/2025 17:11

Worked in early years for nearly 20 years and never come across that

Original poster
FlipperyGibbet · 19/08/2025 16:55

Update:
Had a meeting with the nursery manager this afternoon and were told that the reason the babies are kept in their highchair seats and allowed to watch a programme for 5 - 10 mins after tea is because of the risk of allergies. Babies are weaning and have allergies so it's important for them to clean up without them crawling in the zone.

We've said our DD has no allergies and is eating solid food safely so surely she doesn't fall into this category. We were told that our DD can do something different but they wouldn't want her to feel excluded.

It's a shame as I feel the justification for this was ready and waiting for us during this meeting. As so many of you have suggested, I think we might have to look at some other nurseries for her 😔

OP posts:
Courgettes85 · 19/08/2025 11:26

This is awful! Especially keeping them in their high chairs. I would just move nurseries, can't imagine this sort of environment changing all that quickly. Sorry.

Yep1234 · 19/08/2025 11:19

if this is true it’s a safeguarding concern. nursery workers should not have their phone on them whilst with children.

Miffylou · 19/08/2025 11:13

It’s unacceptable imo, other than perhaps for a few minutes while staff tidy up. I’d raise it with them. I bet they don’t put that in their prospectus.

CloudPop · 19/08/2025 11:09

FlipperyGibbet · 19/08/2025 10:30

This was our thinking too as the room leader is currently on two weeks of annual leave. There have been several other concerns over the past week (no / limited infrequent app updates, incomplete handover sheets etc) but I've honestly talked myself down and reasoned that they may be short staffed and perhaps my expectations are too high.

We were happy to hold off and wait until the room leader was back to see if things improved but the tablet being used twice in 5 days (that we know of) and the use of the highchair seats to keep them sat down is just too major to wait for a discussion on. She was also in for 8 hours yesterday and went 5+ hours before her nappy was changed.

I am just so disappointed, we spent so long choosing a nursery and went for this one due to it's fantastic feedback from other parents and we genuinely thought it aligned with our values. I feel really sad about it

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I can understand how disappointed you must be. It’s a hugely emotional decision and to have something like this happen is a real blow. Sorry no advice but lots of sympathy and best wishes that you resolve it. The only thing I would say from experience is act quickly. These situations don’t improve in my experience.

TheRealMagic · 19/08/2025 11:09

RitaRetro · 19/08/2025 10:51

Is it though? I mean there’s not exactly a curriculum at pre schools to do wholesome activities. In the digital world it would probably be difficult to avoid screens in any early learning environment.

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There very much is a curriculum at preschools! And you couldn't possibly meet it without a lot of what people consider wholesome activities - art, crafts, reading, outdoor and indoor play.

TheRealMagic · 19/08/2025 11:08

WickWood · 18/08/2025 22:12

I would not be happy with them strapped in a highchair outside of mealtimes?! And I would say I'm fairly relaxed. I dont know how I feel about the screen time. I suppose it's difficult as you dont actually know how much they're watching. If its literally 5 minutes once every few days I wouldn't care, but the fact your DH saw her watching the iPad infers it is much more frequent, and I wouldn't be happy with that.

Yes, this would be my biggest concern - the restraint not the screen. I think the screen is context-dependent whether or not it's ok, but the restraint I can't imagine how it could be justified.

FanofLeaves · 19/08/2025 11:02

RitaRetro · 19/08/2025 10:51

Is it though? I mean there’s not exactly a curriculum at pre schools to do wholesome activities. In the digital world it would probably be difficult to avoid screens in any early learning environment.

Show quote history

No, it really isn’t.

rainbowstardrops · 19/08/2025 11:01

I wouldn’t be happy about this at all and I’d ask to speak to the manager.
Even if they say that Mr Tumble is educational and the children are learning sign language, a member of staff could be singing songs with signing included. That and the whole strapped into a high chair?! Absolutely not if they’re not actually eating!

RitaRetro · 19/08/2025 10:51

justabigdisco · 18/08/2025 21:43

I would consider myself a relaxed parent but I wouldn’t be happy about this. The whole point of paid childcare is that they do all the wholesome activities that we CBA to do at home 🤣

Is it though? I mean there’s not exactly a curriculum at pre schools to do wholesome activities. In the digital world it would probably be difficult to avoid screens in any early learning environment.

Confusdworriedmum · 19/08/2025 10:47

Sounds like when the room leader is there they do what they're supposed to do but that's not good enough. They should be doing a good job consistently.
I would speak to the manager but would still move her. 5 hours without a nappy change is disgusting and then there's the enforced watching of the tablet. If you have other issues too then I think you need to change nursery.
You're not expecting too much for basic paperwork to be done or nappies to be changed regularly.

applegingermint · 19/08/2025 10:45

I’m pretty relaxed but watching TV at nursery is a hard no for me. I’ve had to swallow my thoughts on phonics using a tablet but TV is a no.

Our pt nanny has also said to me that she has never seen children shown TV in the UK nurseries she works in, when I asked her about it previously.

Happytohelp66 · 19/08/2025 10:42

I worked in nurseries for many years and have also been an early years Ofsted inspector so just had to comment! Firstly strapping children in for a long period of time is definitely not acceptable and children that young should never be plonked in front of a screen anyway and certainly not at a nursery! Personally I would speak to the manager and express your concerns.

Starrystarrysky · 19/08/2025 10:38

I would move my child as well, that's completely unacceptable. I know it's a huge hassle with so few nursery places these days - but I think that when they're so young you need to (slightly) over-react. As if that's what they're happy with parents seeing, it's very unlikely that's that only time it's happened.

THISnewbeginning · 19/08/2025 10:33

I would be raising your concerns if I was you. The manager may not be aware of these goings on

Original poster
FlipperyGibbet · 19/08/2025 10:30

Confusdworriedmum · 19/08/2025 10:12

Choose a different nursery. When I was working in a nursery (it was only last year) we didn't have any TV time. We sometimes used the tablet for music and dancing. They were never sat around watching it.
Tbh it wouldn't even occur to me to ask if a nursery used tablets or phones for TV but clearly it's something you to check.
I did remove my eldest from her CM who had the TV on every time I picked up, even if I arrived early. I let my children watch TV after nursery for 30 minutes to chill out I wouldn't expect them to be watching it at nursery.
I also wonder if the nursery is short staffed in which case they're breaking the rules because why else would you have all the kids strapped in chairs, making them watch a tablet.

This was our thinking too as the room leader is currently on two weeks of annual leave. There have been several other concerns over the past week (no / limited infrequent app updates, incomplete handover sheets etc) but I've honestly talked myself down and reasoned that they may be short staffed and perhaps my expectations are too high.

We were happy to hold off and wait until the room leader was back to see if things improved but the tablet being used twice in 5 days (that we know of) and the use of the highchair seats to keep them sat down is just too major to wait for a discussion on. She was also in for 8 hours yesterday and went 5+ hours before her nappy was changed.

I am just so disappointed, we spent so long choosing a nursery and went for this one due to it's fantastic feedback from other parents and we genuinely thought it aligned with our values. I feel really sad about it

OP posts:
Confusdworriedmum · 19/08/2025 10:12

Choose a different nursery. When I was working in a nursery (it was only last year) we didn't have any TV time. We sometimes used the tablet for music and dancing. They were never sat around watching it.
Tbh it wouldn't even occur to me to ask if a nursery used tablets or phones for TV but clearly it's something you to check.
I did remove my eldest from her CM who had the TV on every time I picked up, even if I arrived early. I let my children watch TV after nursery for 30 minutes to chill out I wouldn't expect them to be watching it at nursery.
I also wonder if the nursery is short staffed in which case they're breaking the rules because why else would you have all the kids strapped in chairs, making them watch a tablet.

Bananachimp · 19/08/2025 10:05

No I wouldn't be impressed by that. At my daughter's nursery they only had screen time when they got to the oldest group and even then it was a short programme whilst they read the book alongside like snail and the whale or it was a factual ocean sort of programme.

jjeoreo · 19/08/2025 10:03

ShesTheAlbatross · 18/08/2025 21:50

No, I wouldn’t be happy with that at all.

Our DDs’ nursery used to put the tv on a whiteboard at the end of the day while children were being collected (tended to be nursery rhyme songs with animation) and I thought that was fine. Other activities were available, but it was the end of the day, children were tired, and staff were a bit busier with talking to parents who were arriving. This was only in the room with 2-3 yr olds, not the younger rooms.

Babies sitting strapped in chairs watching a tablet would be something I’d be really bothered by.

Yes, I wouldn't like this at all it's the restraining that bothers me.

THISnewbeginning · 19/08/2025 10:02

This is really poor practice - both the screen use and the unnecessary use of restraint

missrabbit1990 · 19/08/2025 10:01

And I’m not even anti screen. My 2yo is very verbally advanced and has a bit of telly every day. (And lots of other activities with limits on screen time.) But I wouldn’t want to pay for childcare to then have my kid sitting watching a screen.