For disagreeing with friends on my approach to DCs food?

Your way sounds fine. I was sometimes forced to eat things I didn’t like as a child and it didn’t help. I started to enjoy more variety in my own time. Your kids already sound adventurous a lot of the time, which is great!

I'm with you and for the same reason! My brother and I both have a battle with our weight because we were brought up to eat up quickly and clear our plates. I was also not allowed any "treats" during the week and limited at the weekend because of my weight!

We've been through it all with my children. Autistic food aversion, food aversion due to a lot of sickness, allergies, food intolerances (hence the sickness). The older ones are all good with their eating now and the youngest is getting there. None of them seem to be struggling with their weight either.

Our back up was toast or a sandwich. I wouldn't cook another meal. But I think you need to look at the balance over a week not just a day and as long as they are getting the nourishment they need it's all good.

I think your approach sounds fine and it sounds like the 5 year old is pretty adventurous from the list of what he ate. Nothing wrong with porridge/weetabix.

I think sometimes, people don't realise how tricky it can be if someone (whether adult or child) has issues with food. I'm not fussy by any means - I will eat most things, but I am particular and certain things e.g. meat, have to be 'right'. I suspect it's linked to anxiety. It's mostly fine as an adult as I have a lot of control over what I eat but kids often don't.

Totally agree with your approach, it's what we do and DD12 is coming out the other side and quite an adventurous eater .

I was brought up to clear my plate and am in awe of my DD's ability to walk away from things like cake, ice cream or chocolate when they've had enough.

@CunningPlanMaster I think if you were doing me the enormous favour of looking after my child for me, so long as they were fed I doubt I’d care if it was “breakfast food”.

I don’t have kids so never had to deal with this BUT I was made to eat food I didn’t like because my parents believed I needed more ‘variety’ particularly veg. I didn’t, I’d quite happily have eaten more of the veg I loved! I’m in my 50’s now and still have a very real fear of root vegetables 😕

We have a similar approach to you and it feels like the right thing to do. My parents would make me finish things I didn't like and I don't feel that's healthy. DD is a bit too young for the "try everything on your plate once but you don't have to finish it" approach, but we'll be moving to that when she's older. At the moment we just plate up the food family style and offer everything to her, don't make a fuss about what she does/doesn't eat. We don't make separate meals if she hasn't eaten much but she is always allowed yoghurt and fruit for dessert so I know she isn't starving. I don't feel yoghurt and some fruit is particularly unhealthy so it feels like a good compromise. We do encourage her sometimes to try new things on her plate, but don't force her to eat anything. If she does try something new we tell her well done etc, but never any negative feedback if she hasn't tried anything 🤷‍♀️ she is a bit hit and miss with food but it is less stressful for us this way. Some days she'll only want to eat a plain fajita wrap with cheese in it or chicken nuggets, some days she'll eat anything.

I find she's better if I involve her in the cooking process. Except if its pizza because then she wants to eat all her pizza toppings during the preparation and isn't hungry when her actual pizza is finished cooking 😂

I just don't think there's one right way to go about feeding a family, but nothing about your approach seems terrible to me assuming the two on-offer alternatives are things your DC like. I would perhaps consider adding another protein-rich option in place of or in addition to those two.

DH and I use the division of responsibility approach (this originated with Ellyn Satter) at mealtimes and we generally work to encourage intuitive eating, - Diana Rice, Nicole Cruz and Amee Severson all have great books and online resources for this. But that's a constant work-in-progress and we have to make that fit into busy family life.

We do some things I know will raise eyebrows, like offer a portion of dessert when the rest of dinner is served, but we've found they work for our family. Generally my friend circle limits our discussions about this and other parenting topics to asking others what works/sharing struggles but don't offer or engage with unsolicited advice/critique. A chipper "there are so many approaches but this one works for our family" followed by a subject change works for the rest.

Something dull and basic staple and staying too everyone else has finished is our approach too. Or seconds of something else that’s part of that meal.

OP your approach is very similar to the one I used and I now have two very unfussy teens who eat a huge variety of foods.

Despite my MIL’s horror, I never stopped serving any food if they told me they didn’t like it, but I also would never force them to eat it either. Invariably after some months their “dislike” of it would pass.

They still have preferences, but I can serve literally any meal up to them and get no complaints.

I’m Team #CunningPlan. It’s basically what I do for my DC though so, I would say it’s great. 😅

Your way sounds the most balanced and normal. Anyone forcing their kids to clear their plate in 2025 is just thick and cruel at this point. In 1970 people didn’t know any better, but now we have research evidence to tell us how harmful this kind of thing is, we must do better, we really must.

Don't tell other people, however close they are as friends, about how you parent or what your food rules are. People are so weird about it.

You sound like you're doing a great job, especially with your own past story.

Just shrug and say each to their own. However, if you're actively bringing it up with friends, I guess expect their opinions as that's human nature.

It's fine. Just don't engage with other mothers on the topic of food - road to disaster!

I think this is a brilliant approach!!

, the only wrong one is the friend who would force them to eat, everything else is just opinion.
my 8 year old lives off of nuggets and ham sandwiches otherwise he'd starve so your doing better than me

Your way is fab.

Nothing wrong with your way. I did the same with my children.

I love this approach of yours, OP - I’m from the same ‘clear your plate, there’s kids starving that would kill for the food you get’ kind of upbringing.

People will always judge or disagree but I think you’ll be just fine sticking with your gut instinct on this.

Also, your food isn’t ‘exotic’. It’s just a wide, varied diet that sounds lush!

They are your children ignore what others say. But I do agree with you, i have a very similar approach with mine, They are young, their tastes will change when they are ready. Keep up your way.

We have an almost identical approach to you and this works really well for us.

Sounds fine to me. Probably similar to what we did. Except, like another poster, we probably always had one element of the meal (eg plain rice) that they would eat, so didnt really offer even very simple alternatives.

Everything you said sounds like a great attitude. Encouraging and supportive while avoiding unnecessary battles. They’re eating a good variety and trying things - I don’t know what else you can possible do! 😂 Everyone does what works for them. Keep up the good work ☺️