To let DD vape?

Try for longer. If you keep trying things for small amounts of time she will obviously carry on because she’ll know you’ll give in again

So all the things have come back, as others have said.
When she had no phone, no money, no outings or hobbies and no money for clothes, what did she do? How did she contact her friends? Or did she just sit in her room vaping all the time?

I wouldn't be ok with it. Not in the garden, not in the house.

You can't stop her but be firm in saying not anywhere here in the home at all. I was smoking at 15 casually and allowed in the house by 16. So rubbish. I wish they'd actually cared enough to say no. They were too busy smoking and drinking themselves.

Me too, though I was late 20’s.

Most 16 year-olds are not going to be afraid of a bit of shouting.

You're saying "tried" in the past tense. If she's still vaping, that means you started giving her those things while she's still vaping. Why? Of course nothing works if you don't follow through or remain consistent.

I don’t think you can stop her. I was smoking cigarettes at 16, but I would have never smoked in front of my parents or in the house/garden.

It’s crazy to me that some people here say they let their teenagers vape in their room. For me, vaping is just as bad as cigarettes. At least cigarettes (in my opinion) had some kind of elegance, but vaping is simply gross.What shocks me is how this modern world acts like vaping is harmless or acceptable, when really it’s no different than smoking. In fact, I find it even worse: it’s cheap-looking, addictive, and being marketed as if it’s safe, which is a complete lie.

But how long for?

How long did you try these for? They're all on-going and it isnt making a difference?

Absolutely me too.

So currently... she hasn't got a mobile phone contract, she gets nothing bought for her, she never gets a lift anywhere... ?

How is she getting to work? How is she communicating with her friends?

Could you take her to a vape shop and encourage her to get one where she uses her own liquid. The disposables are super addictive - 2.0 nicotine and super sweet tasting.

You can buy liquids with different levels of nicotine and ween her down to 1.6, 1.0, 0.6 and then 0 nicotine each week. If she’s vaping with no nicotine she might be able to drop the habit?

I’ve noticed with the disposables, I vaped more and when I got my own liquid I eventually got down to using no nicotine and became unbothered and now only vape socially when I go out and feel I need something to go with my drink.

I smoked for 15 years and then switched to vaping for 7 years. I found vaping worse than cigarettes because I never smoked indoors and cigarettes had an end. Vaping became a constant, rather than being a few puffs I did every hour or so.

I really don't want this to come across rudely but, to be honest with you (because you've asked), yes, I would think you're a bad mum (in that respect).

As a teacher, I very, very rarely came across parents who parented well and couldn't get their child to do something or not do something. Those cases were extreme cases of anxiety, gang-related crime, serious addictions or mental health problems. If she's at the point where you genuinely cannot stop her - you should be speaking to the GP, school and local council support (it will vary depending on your area).

However, from what you've said, I don't really understand how you're saying you've tried everything... You stopped internet/lifts/phone/pocket money? You said you took it away, she vapes anyway but sounds like you just reinstated it? Why? How is she buying vapes? Does she have a job? Friends won't sub her for long. Is there a smoke detector in her room?

Eventually but took me a good 15 years.

So I definitely don’t enforce it, I just also understand that teenage mindset as I was the worst.
To be fair though at school - it was the ‘thing’,
we used to sneak out of school to share a cig, my parents did it etc.

Now it’s seen for what it is and less people do it, back then I felt I had to smoke to fit in - now it’s the polar opposite.

How long did you try them for?

Yeah that's going well for them

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/nov/02/burning-out-how-australias-bid-to-cut-smoking-rates-exploded-into-suburban-tobacco-wars

How does she get to her part time job OP? If she needs a lift, then I’d stop taking her, because the money she earns is essentially damaging her health. And I would stop paying for extras and treats.

Regarding the smoking vs vaping in the young, DS1 is nearly 20 and at uni, and he says a lot of his contemporaries smoke, because vaping is now seen as something that kids do. Vaping is for 13 year olds, so the 18 years olds smoke instead apparently.

It makes me so angry that vape manufacturers were allowed to market directly to kids - pretty colours, nice flavours etc. Vapes should have been kept as a flavourless and basic aid to stopping smoking, not turned into a fun activity for kids. It’s outrageous.

What have you tried?
Do you pay for her phone, give her money for food or clothes?
Do you take her on outings or give her money for other things?
Du you confiscate the vape when you find it?
You let her vape in the garden, why?
What else have you tried?

Exactly. No idea why that’s not the case here.

It’s illegal in Australia too. Vapes can only be purchased on prescription as an aid to quit smoking.

https://www.health.gov.au/topics/smoking-vaping-and-tobacco/about-vaping

I had same issue. I said I would stop paying for phone and hobbies - vaping stopped

Then stop her.

I appreciate she buys them with her own money, but presumably you still give her money too?

What for?