To let DD vape?

When did you quit?

Ithink you meant to quote me, not @youalright

My parents never 'let' me smoke, I just did it anyway. Smokers were everywhere back then and it was not difficult to cadge a fag off someone. Later I used to spend my dinner money on a pack of 10. Trading standards was virtually non-existent in those days and we all knew which shops would sell to us, even in school uniform.

Yes, I moved out at 16 and was successfully independent from then on. And?

I can remember my mum accepting I smoked and all that did was allow me to do it more. I will never accept my kid vapes (if they ever start). I would do everything in my power to make it stop, to keep it outside of the house and to make sure I didn’t partially fund it.

Well, your parents clearly failed you at some point, because you started smoking at 12! How the fuck did you get hold of them? Who were you friends with to get them for you? And then you moved out at 16? Jeez.

What have you actually tried, for how long etc.

What happened when your child had no phone for "months" for example. How was she getting to work?

You removed her phone, lifts to places like work and out with friends, non essential purchases for her... For "months"?

How long has she been vaping?

Why did you give those things back?

The law is controlling... having respect for where you live is controlling... ok then. Bet you were a really 'cool' teen...

If vaping is banned in public areas like smoking is, or vapes themselves are massively curtailed, the next thing (it's gaining ground) is Snus or Pouches. These are nicotine delivery pads that rest between gum and cheek and deliver the hit over a long period. No smoke, no vape, no smell no evidence!

My friend is a vaper and uses a pouch or two on long plane journeys, she lives abroad so I'm not sure if they are available here yet or not.

In one of the OP’s posts.

I moved out at 16. I got a FT job and a room in a house share. No big fall out with my parents, I just wanted my independence. That was in the 80s though, I'm not sure it's generally even possible these days when they're supposed to be in some form of FTE until 18.

16 year olds are not adults but they're not really children either, especially once they start earning their own money. Despite making the 'stupid and immature decision' to start smoking when I was 12 I managed just fine on my own age 16.

Yes, different cultures. I think charging a 16 -year-old board or allowing them to live with boyfriends is cold and weird.

East is East and West is West and rarely do the twain meet! Very glad my parents didn't let me smoke or drink or quit my education. It paid off.

I see that as controlling i would rather pay and feel like it was my home to and be treat like an adult. Are parents on here also giving their 16 year olds bedtimes and saying you can't leave the table until you eat all your veg or saying you have to be home by a set time. This is all so bizarre to me.

OP says quite clearly she vapes in the garden and possibly in her bedroom in her updates.

Anyway I am coming at it from a completely different upbringing. I don't charge board or rent and I never will, so anyone in my house has to follow rules.

But it doesn't all op has said is don't vape she hasn't said i can't stop you vaping but you do not do it on my property. Is she paying lodge as i was at 16 and is probably the reason I didn't have stupid rules as I was just classed as another adult in the house

In the OPs subsequent posts.

Where does it say she vaped in the garden or home after being told not to

Well, good luck to her if she does that.

Do you think that a 16 year old should disrespect her mother and not stick to her rule of no vaping in the garden or house? Want to be treated like an adult - act like one, then. Act like a child - get treated like a child.

Cause and effect. Taking responsibility for your actions. Respect your parents.

I would of found a way and moved in with my boyfriend. Their are parents on here saying smash up stuff she has paid for take this and that away. Someone even said take her pocket money away what 16 year old has pocket money shes working people are reacting like shes 12. People need to stop infantilizing their children.

People always say that. If you don't ler your DC smoke, drink and have sex in your home they will have it outside unsafely. I don't believe that personally and I am not going to be bullied into encouraging or endorsing stupid behaviour in my home

But then I don't have anyone in my family who has ever gone no contact or left home at 16.

You had enough money to pay for your own flat, did you?
16 year olds aren't adults and the fact she's started vaping which is illegal for her at this age and is a really stupid and immature decision doesn't make this girl seem more mature.

My god shes 16 if some of you where my parents i would move out and never speak to any of you anymore. Its so controlling. Luckily when I was 16 I was treat like an adult I worked i was at college and had my own life I couldnt imagine my mum acting like this maybe when I was 12.

So she went for months with no phone, no way to communicate with her friends? why did you start paying for it again?

I suppose if I were in this situation I'd have to stop paying for hobbies - DS music lessons, DD gymnastics - that's probably the only thing that would hurt them. I would worry if I stopped giving lifts they'd have to walk in the dark etc and I wouldn't let them out themselves in danger.

I think you're right. I would hate this; and if I said to my DD you can't vape in our house or garden, quite rightly, I would hate to think of her skulking around the streets alone to do it instead, or avoiding spending time at home. It's a no win situation.