To let DD vape?

I would talk to her in a kind conversational tone. Appreciating how she feels and why she does it. Tell her that you are concerned because you love her and can't bear to see her doing anything that might harm her. Then leave it there, even if it looks like she isn't listening. She is taking it in. And then just carry on with your usual routine without nagging about anything if possible. Once she has the space to mull it over, she might very well stop. Even though she mightnt be expressing it, she loves her family and doesn't want to harm herself either. And don't forget to praise her about things she does well too in case she feels put down by ye (my son said he felt like that when I kept nagging him about gaming, that he couldn't do anything right). I wouldn't tell her that you are ok with her vaping to be honest, she could get the impression that you don't care enough or are giving up on her and you don't want that either

It's absolutely your call, I started smoking at 15 and my mam did not let me, but she couldn't have stopped me either as like your DD I purchased my own cigarettes and "knew it all" so ignored the health lectures etc. My mam was adamant though that I was not to smoke in the house, if i wanted a cig I was to go outside the front or back door and aside from one occasion when I was showing off to my mates I always respected this rule.
You say shes spending a lot of time out of the house and I assume you mean out out, with her mates? Could her vaping outside work as a compromise rather than conceding the no vaping in the house rule? I'd worry if you back down completely you lose any ground you've made (without realising you've made it as I'm sure it still seems like shes not listening to you)

I'm sorry OP, but I think you're mad. By doing that, you're condoning it.

My youngest ds13 has gone through a period of vaping, linked in with other behaviours as a result of several bereavements and his father and I going through a difficult divorce. He got grounded, no pocket money, no treats. He's not grounded now, but he only get £2 maximum on his card for a drink when he's out, rarely anything more. He's now stopped, thank god. I watched my Mum basically suffocate to death 2 years ago, from COPD due to smoking. I'll be damned if any child of mine is going to vape or smoke with my blessing.

Jesus Christ cut the cord

Somebody’s feeling bitter..!! 🤣🤣

I would be taking an A4 sized photo of her to all the local corner shops and vape shops and telling them she is 16 and if they serve her then you will report them to the police and local trading standards.
And I'd ban vaping at home. Full stop.
Stop caving in to your teen and set some boundaries.

Say the same thing to yourself next time you crack open a bottle hun. If you need your alcohol flavoured by grapes then you're embarrassing x

Install a mains powered vape alarm or a co2 alarm at least so you can monitor air quality. Linked to a smart home app so you can check it on your phone.

They are nothing more than adult dummies. Ridiculous things. If you need your dose of nicotine to be flavoured like sweets then yes, that is indeed embarrassing.

Do you or have you ever had a cigarette? Or a glass of wine? Do you step outside in a busy town centre?

I vape socially at the weekends. Nothing embarrassing about it at all. Hysterical women like you, are however, embarrassing.

Charge her rent!!!
Then she’ll have no disposable income!

I've been through 3 teenagers so know it's not as easy as " not letting tgem" do things. And mine all had jobs which I felt was important. Vaping wasn't an issue but they could waste their money on various other crap lol

She has a job so could pay for these things

Ok indeed

OK.

No, you aren't a bad mum, and those mums telling you you are should mind their own business.

You cannot control what your 16 year old does. She earns her own money and if she wants to vape, she will. It's much harder to be certain that they are vaping than smoking. You can set boundaries and do what is within your control. It is illegal, so you can throw away any you find. You can try to work out where she's getting them from and report the shops to trading standards - even if it's just a suspicion, they will look into it.

It sounds like you've tried really hard. Some children and teenagers respond better to consequences than others. I think you can just take an approach which you think will be most effective and try to stick with it.

I am not playing this game with you. I have done exactly what you asked and then you invent waffle about why it doesn’t count and stamp your feet.

I'm not screaming

Everyone is doing their jobs. Drug and alcohol services are seeing young people with drug and alcohol problems, stop smoking services are seeing young smokers and will also offer some limited help to young vapers although that is not their main mission. There's not a huge amount of help for vapers because it simply isn't a public health issue on the scale of those other things. While it's certainly a problem, it's just nowhere near as harmful as smoking, alcohol or drugs. Services have tight budgets and they need to prioritise.

The goalpost you moved was saying there was no help available and demanding links as proof, when links were provided you changed the goalpost to proving that they actually provide the help listed in the links.

Here is what I said:

Please do tell me what help is available to a 16 y/o who can't stop vaping. Links would be good.

You still haven't managed to do that. Same goalposts, same place. Of course it matters that the orgs you linked to actually provide the help you say they do if that's what you're trying to show. None mention vaping, I think only the Greenwich one mentions smoking and following that link takes you to stop smoking services. Please point me to anything I have missed.

Asking "what have you tried?" and OP saying "absolutely everything. I took away her phone and then gave it back even though she hadn't stopped" would be the assessment required to know this is poor behaviour and not a medical problem.

You have such a vivid imagination!

Stop smoking services won't care about any of that, all they'll care about is whether she wants the help or not. And they won't be talking to the girl's mother in the first place, she's 16!

I could have written this post myself about my DD, also 16. I’ve lectured until I’m blue in the face over it, if I catch her with any I take them, I’ve stopped pocket money (but she has a job anyway), I’ve grounded her, I’m not sure what else I can do. She doesn’t even know why she does it but she can’t stop 😳

OP respectfully it sounds like you can't really be bothered to argue with her.
At the very least I'd be insisting there is no vaping in the house or garden.
Take away all privileges (Internet, devices, pocket money, new clothes bar essentials, lifts (even to a part time job- it may teach her the hard way!), etc). You cannot tell me you did this for months and she actually chose vaping over the above?!

It will be exceptionally difficult to stop her doing it outside the home but you can and should get your house in order.
If she still attends school, I would mention it there too. They may do sporadic bag searches if you let them know of your concerns.

Clearly you just want to scream that everyone is useless and doesn't do their jobs. I can't help you there.

The goalpost you moved was saying there was no help available and demanding links as proof, when links were provided you changed the goalpost to proving that they actually provide the help listed in the links.

I never said they'd do a parenting assessment 🙄Asking "what have you tried?" and OP saying "absolutely everything. I took away her phone and then gave it back even though she hadn't stopped" would be the assessment required to know this is poor behaviour and not a medical problem.

They won't, they will signpost to stop smoking services who are the experts in nicotine addiction. OP's daughter will be offered information, brief advice and maybe a prescription for NRT, i.e. nicotine, which is safely prescribed for children from the age of 12. If she doesn't want to quit they won't bother wasting their time.

I posted the NCSCT guidance earlier, here it is again:

https://www.ncsct.co.uk/publications/Support_stop_vaping

What goalposts do you think I have moved?

The reason they're unlikely to help OP is because her DD is vaping due to ineffective parenting, not due to an uncontrollable addiction.

You're just making stuff up now. This is bobbins. If she wants to quit they'll offer limited help as above. If she doesn't they won't. Simple as that.

Stop smoking services have neither the resources nor the expertise to get involved in parenting assessments which would be pointless and counterproductive anyway. Nobody's going to seek help to quit vaping if it involves that level of snooping into their lives.

All of them. Nicotine is a drug. It's illegal for children. It's hospitalised many children. It's a huge problem.

I'm very bored of you changing the goalposts at this point.

The reason they're unlikely to help OP is because her DD is vaping due to ineffective parenting, not due to an uncontrollable addiction.