Has anyone offered to give up their seat on public transport just for being a woman?

I'm 44 and I'd feel offended if someone gave up their seat for me purely on the basis I'm a woman! Patronising!!

DH would always offer a seat to a women and quite happily stand. My dad and FIL also the same. Maybe it's a military thing! And yes all are Northern. I don't mind standing either.

When I was struggling off a train with a pram, many men walked passed me, a woman helped me get the pram off the train and down some steps, as I was clearly struggling. Maybe she knew what it's like and could sympathise more than others, though.

I don’t see this is my area. When I was heavily pregnant the only people who offered me a seat was other women. Usually while several men were pretending to not have noticed me.

I also find it shocking when every single day at work, where pregnant women are the patients, to see women standing in the waiting room while the male accompanying partners of others are sitting, despite a sign stating that patients have priority for seating in the waiting room.

Yes I have.

However, on the train last week it was busy and I was standing by the door. More and more people got on, some of whom were 2 elderly women with walking sticks, walking down the carriage looking for seats. The rest just stayed by the doors standing.

There were plenty of young and middle aged men that they passed who pretended not to see them/ignore them even when it was obvious the women were looking for somewhere to sit. It took another woman, in her 70's, who was sat with her daughter, to offer their seats to the elderly women, who then thankfully took them.

Shame on them who didn't offer seats, including many able bodied men - i only noticed as there were way more men than women on the train, maybe it was some kind of event they were going to.

With all the struggles women have had to be taken seriously in male dominated careers to show they can be as fit and strong as men, it is slightly insulting that there are still people who think women are so much weaker that they can't even stand up for a few minutes I think the idea is misplaced courtesy- they make not think they are being insulting m, they may not intend to be insulting, but they are.

I will excuse elderly gentlemen from judgement, but I wish they would look after themselves better as they are particularly vulnerable if there was to be an accident (or even just an unexpected movement)

I think it’s shocking that people don’t give up seats voluntarily for pregnant women, and I’d normally expect to give up a seat for an elderly person.

I've been on mumsnet over 10 years. I don't think man offering a women a seat affects equal rights, it just shows manners.

I was at a train station the other week with a very heavy suitcase and the lift was out of order. A man offered to help which I greatly accepted and he said he wasn't sure whether to offer as some women would be offended. I don't understand why people with your views want to stop this kind of behaviour. I've carried suitcases for older people who were struggling- should we stop offering them help so ots not seen as ageist?

I agree entirely with your train of thought. Seats should be offered to elderly, disabled or encumbered individuals of both genders. Pregnant women of course, goes without saying. But I don't think that it should be expected that an able bodied man should offer a seat to an able bodied woman.

It's almost entirely a first come, first serve situation on public transport in London, save for the non-exhaustive exceptions I've mentioned above, and noone seems to complain about it on my twice daily commutes.

Chivalry should be appreciated, not expected.

I'm male, I would offer my seat up to a woman standing (or a child, older person or anyone who looked tired really). I appreciate the work of feminists but I'm not going to avoid trivial acts of kindness due to the tiny chance of offending one.

I have been offered a seat in many occasions. Sometimes I will accept, other times I will decline.
I have never felt offended. If someone is kind enough to offer me a seat I will take as such.
Being offended about stupid things is such a waste of time.

Yorkshire lady here.Travel on buses and trains a lot. Rarely had to stand, I give my seat up to someone who needs it and even then a man will stand for me.

I have occasionally had this happen but mainly from foreign men.

It happened a lot more when I was in Oz though.

I remember it being that the children had to all get up and offer seats to any adults!

One of DH’s friends would never sit if there was a woman without a seat. He feels really strongly about it. He likes that saying: I stand not because you are a lady, but because I am a gentleman.

as a 58 year woman, I wouldn’t expect anyone to give up their seat for me, but I would give up my seat if I saw that there was someone that clearly needed to sit more than myself. I was travelling on the tube in London today and it was very busy with children due to school holidays and I noticed that most of the children had their own seats whilst elderly people stood and their parents stood too. When I was a child I would have had to sit on my parents lap rather than have a seat to myself and my mum standing

No I wouldn't expect it.

I certainly wouldn't be offended if someone did what they perceived as a kind thing like that.

It would be a horrible reaction.

I started being offered a seat on the tube when I was about 60. It made me feel old.
A decade later, and I still smile and politely refuse when it's offered by someone sitting down. I'm usually not travelling far enough to need it, and also we need to retain our balance skills at my age and standing in a tube train actually helps with that.
If someone's already stood up for me before they speak, I do take their seat though, as at that point it seems like refusing would make it awkward as they'd have to sit down again.

I see no reason at all why a man should give up his seat for a perfectly able bodied and not-elderly woman, though. And I'm surprised to see how many of this board virtually swoon at a man doing so. I don't appreciate being seen as weak and in need of this kind of thing.

I have never known any man give up a seat for a woman - as you say, unless they're elderly, disabled, or pregnant. I would never expect a man to give up a seat for me. Men need to sit as much as women!

@Spookygoose I know but I've not seen anyone this thread refer to themselves as a feminist and my comment was similar to this posters

This has happened to me several times over the years. I usually politely decline, but appreciate the thought.
It isn’t because men think we are weaker or inferior.
It’s a sign of good manners and respect along with courtesy.
I have (I hope) taught my sons this.

Because feminism isn't only of one type.

Because it is a biological fact that women are in general not as strong as men, or else we'd have men punching women in the face in boxing matches... Oh, hang on. We did.

Because courtesy and kindness have nothing to do with whatever current and limited notion of 'feminism' you are expressing with your posts.

I think you need to head over to the feminist thread. I believe in equal rights but don't have any issues with a man been a gentleman. My DP will catty heavy bags for me, do the garden, sort bins put etc - doesn't make me any less equal or able, he just knows I don't like doing those things. I'm a big believer in masculine and feminine energy

I don't call myself a feminist and I don't think any of the women I know do