Has anyone offered to give up their seat on public transport just for being a woman?

No, but I’ve found men have been much more likely to ‘give way’ to me in recent months since I’ve been on chemo and look poorly. Not so much chivalry as pity but I’m milking it.

I really like it when a man offers me a seat.

Mainly, because when a woman offers me her seat, she clearly thinks I'm pregnant. No, I'm just fat. 😭 I'd rather think a man is being polite than a woman thinks I am with child.

Hurts every time. I don't get it either. Pregnant woman have big bellies. Fat women are just fat all over. I feel like it should be more obvious than it apparently is.

If a man offered me his seat, I would accept because it would be rude not to. It happens rarely now.

But I would feel uncomfortable that as an able bodied, non pregnant and non child holding woman, I was sitting in someone’s seat.

But when I take my elderly mum on the tube, I am very vocal in asking for a seat for her on the rare occasion someone doesn’t immediately get up.

I also ask people to get up for pregnant women.

Yes. The thing is that we do want men to recognise that they are stronger than women. That's why they don't play rugby against each other, don't box against one another. It's one of the reasons for women's protected single-sex spaces. It's why we see men hitting women or teenage boys attacking girls as such a red flag.

Nobody is teaching boys that women can't stand. They are teaching them, at the appropriate age, to start to be aware of their greater strength and to channel that to show consideration. It's a good, positive lesson.

To raise him with good manners? Just because you don't share those values doesn't mean it's wrong?

What a weird statement. That poster seemed to be suggesting she was only teaching her male children to give up seats for women -- that has nothing to do with 'manners and respect', but with some weird reactionary ideas about female fragility. Teach your children to give up a seat, when they can, for anyone less able to stand. It's not a gendered thing.

Good to see some parents teaching their children manners and respect.

It's why I give up my seat for small children and older people of both sexes. Nobody is forcing men to give up seats; nobody is forcing women to accept them. You've asked for a reason and you don't like it. That's your prerogative, but I don't see the need to be so dismissive of other perspectives.

Women normally have lower muscle tone than men and may be less comfortable standing. Boys and teenagers trying to work out which women are possibly pregnant is not a scenario to encourage. No reason not to encourage boys to offer seats to women once they are old enough. Women don't have to accept if they don't feel they'd benefit.

The only time I was ever offered a seat on the London Underground was after Id finoshed the marathon, and another woman offered me her seat when she saw my medal. 😂 I declined politely.

I would take the seat so I didn’t have to stand 😂 I don’t care why they gave it to me

Yes, it has, enough times for me not to find it unusual. I’m 58 and I’ve lived in central London since I was 22. Can we please stop with the London bashing?

I find it is usually European or American men who offer me their seat on the tube.

I've never seen anyone offer a seat to an apparently able-bodied woman over a man or woman with visible disabilities.

I think a polite response to anyone offering a seat matters, because it supports the cultural norm that being considerate of others on public transport matters. People in the habit of scanning the horizon for anyone in need to a seat on public transport are likely to offer someone on crutches a seat.

And if pregnant women should be offered a seat, offering a seat to any women of apparent childbearing age is quite a sensible way to avoid giving offence or neglecting that imperative.

I’m not sure why you are trying to paint able bodied women as some sort of extremely tired weaklings. I understand you have difficulties but lots of women your age and older are very capable of standing on a train and opening doors.

Yes lots of times when I was a regular commuter into Manchester ( late 20s/early 30s). I was never offended, just politely thanked them but said i was fine to stand.

Again, with so many rules about how men are allowed to interact, is a man being kind such a bad way for them to interact with a woman if they find her attractive? All the women that have said they were worried about a man offering a seat to them because they presumed he thought they were pregnant when they werent. Is it possible the man found them attractive and thought being nice to them was a better way of breaking the ice than ignoring them.

I am glad i am past all this at 50 and married most of my life but if i wasnt then someone making a kind gesture to me would be extremely low on my list of issues with male interactions.

OP were you born yesterday?

Whilst it being unusual and not everyone's thing, being "seriously offended" because someone has shown kindness seems pretty ridiculous 🤣🤣. If someone swore at me or something of the sort I'd be seriously offended, not for someone letting me sit down. 😂

I’ve been offered a seat quite a few times, usually by men my age or older. I used to turn it down and be offended but I embrace the middle age and grab the seat. Though I would always offer it to an older or pregnant lady.

I have always made my sons get up and let older people sit down. Hopefully they stilL do it. .

When I did my knee and had crutches, I had to use public transportation more than normal. Once I was offered a seat by a 15yo boy. Otherwise i would just stand if it was busy. I do remember once going to the tube with mt legagge and crutches and one perskn clearly wanted to give me a seat but he was in the middle of the row. Poor man looked so guilty. It was fine, I can balance myself but if we are not giving seats for someone with crutches, it feels weird to talk about giving a seat to a visibly able bodied woman. It is just unnecessary.

Oh once in the train a man asked if I could get up so his son could have a seat. I said of course, got up. Took my crutches and went to stand in front of the doors area. I don't know if he saw them but he did avoid looking at the aisle for rest of the trip. I know i could have declined, but I appreciated him asking and I do think we should do that more.

I've been trying to understand the "why" and I guess it's learnt behaviour that's seeped through the generations from a time when women really were considered weaker. The problem is, I don't think this necessariliy equated to respect, back in the day. One poster says he didn't really question it, so I guess he just did what his father taught him - which isn't awful. I have noticed it is sometimes difficult for older men, who now struggle with their mobility, to be given a seat by a women but as a frequent passenger it's necessary for me to do that sometimes.