To think siblings aren’t automatically worth keeping in your life?

I don't have a huge amount to do with my siblings (typically we sent each other a "Happy Christmas" message and that's it). They are nice enough people , but we have different values and not a lot in common. They aren't entirely cut off, but really not a part of my day to day life.

My sister is six years older than me. She was physically and verbally hateful to me from the time I could move independently. I turned out to be much better at things (sport/academic work/keeping friends/being closer to our parents and grandparents) than she was. She would lie about me, try to outshine me in my interests and hobbies and was generally vile. In the end, I left home when I was seventeen and made an excellent life for myself. She married a sex offender, had a daughter who now no longer speaks to her.

I don't know if she's alive or dead and have no interest in finding out.

I’m not even sure what it’s supposed to mean. It’s like water is wet. Yeah, so?

My response to 'family is family' thing is 'exactly, family are supposed to treat one another well'.

I have to remember that I’m very lucky and that my siblings are good people. But in general, yes I do feel it is worth keeping siblings in your life in some form because you genuinely do share something that otherwise doesn’t exist. I have seen people benefit from regaining some sort of contact with siblings who have treated them appallingly, though there has been a process at least of acknowledgment and some sort of break and regroup. It can help once parents are dead, in that you no longer feel constrained to be in touch in an unhelpful way.

I can’t and won’t accept the “family is family” thing. It’s not a get out of jail free card to behave appallingly and it has to be accepted.

I've noticed a real swing towards people asserting their boundaries, stating their needs, and owning who they choose to have in their life. In years gone by it was very much 'but it's family' and people were expected to put up and shut up with awful behaviour if it was from someone they had blood ties to. It's so amazing to see this change. It is often mocked online I think, by people saying that everyone is willing to 'go no contact' at the drop of a hat over next to nothing. But that's an exaggeration and it's actually really healthy that people are pushing back against the collectivist stance where someone can do anything they want to you if they're a relative.

So of course, siblings aren't automatically worth keeping in your life. You get to decide who is a good person to have in your life and who isn't. Your time, energy and love are precious and you don't have to give any of these things to a person that causes you harm.

Personally I've always been of the mindset that I won't tolerate anything from a relative I wouldn't tolerate from a friend, and I hold family to the same standards I hold friendships.

Absolutely !

No point maintaining a relationship with anyone who makes you unhappy IMO, particularly when they’re not going to change.

My brother is utterly horrendous. We are no contact. It’s sad as we were close but he has drunk too much and taken too many drugs and we now hate each other.