Page 3 | To find these comments from new mum friend intensely irritating

Digidestined · 18/08/2025 14:50

viques · 18/08/2025 10:14

She must be very advanced if she manages to cope with being left at nursery without any adult help at the tender age of 15 months. How does she manage to undo poppers and buttons, fasten her shoes , change her own nappy, serve her own snacks, arrange the table activities , put out the paints etc?

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No need to be so bitchy.

She's a very happy and capable child, I just prefer to have her with me and am not desperate to bin her off like these miserable mummies 😀

Nothing wrong with actually liking having your child with you, if you're so offended by the concept you might want to think about why that is.

HauntedBungalow · 18/08/2025 14:31

InMyShowgirlEra · 18/08/2025 11:33

Oh gosh, that would wind me right up.

I think we all THINK it. My baby was the cutest, most intelligent, most perfect baby that had ever been and I loved her more than any human had ever loved. I believed that in my heart, but my head knew it was bollocks, and I'd have never said it out loud.

Me neither, but with each of mine there was a period of a good couple of months weeks where I regarded other parents with pity and sorrow because their babies were so obviously less perfect than mine.

HauntedBungalow · 18/08/2025 14:28

She is being a little thoughtless but it sounds like she's wrapped up in her babymoon and is possibly genuinely taken aback by the intensity of her own feelings. She'll calm down and likely cringe at herself in years to come.

GRex · 18/08/2025 14:24

Trendyname · 18/08/2025 13:32

My only worry is if Kevin ends up as an only child, her ‘special bond with him’ can make him a mama’s boy.

He's a newborn baby. You can turn of the panic sirens at the awful thought that he might realise he's loved for a fucking minute.

Trendyname · 18/08/2025 13:34

whitewineandsun · 18/08/2025 12:29

But you're eight months in. You probably gushed as well. As the childfree person in my friend group: all of my friends did. They just don't (want to?) remember it.

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Some people have main character personality, so they go on and on about what they are doing or believing in that moment. OP’s friend sounds like one.

Trendyname · 18/08/2025 13:32

My only worry is if Kevin ends up as an only child, her ‘special bond with him’ can make him a mama’s boy.

DarklingIlisten · 18/08/2025 12:45

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whitewineandsun · 18/08/2025 12:29

HopalongHorace · 18/08/2025 07:14

Oh I absolutely am brimming with the joys of motherhood, to be honest I’ve found the vast majority of it utterly wonderful with just a few harder bits. Perhaps that’s why I’m extra conscious not to go on about it myself as I don’t want to make people who are having a harder time than me feel bad.

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But you're eight months in. You probably gushed as well. As the childfree person in my friend group: all of my friends did. They just don't (want to?) remember it.

DarklingIlisten · 18/08/2025 12:04

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Zebedee999 · 18/08/2025 11:57

HopalongHorace · 18/08/2025 06:25

A friend has recently had a baby and I’m getting “first person in the world to ever have a baby” vibes and starting to find it irritating. For context I have a 8 month old and a few other girls in our friendship group also have had babies in the past year or so. Naturally everyone was thrilled when friend got pregnant as it’s something she’s wanted for a while, but was waiting to meet the right partner (which she now has).

I’ll give some examples of comments she has made -

Is it normal to not let the baby out of your sight and just want to look at them all the time, I don’t know how other mums get anything done as I just can’t stop staring at Kevin (not his real name)

I know everyone says it’s amazing when you have a baby but for me it’s just something more, this incredible bond like nothing else, a very unique thing between me and Kevin

Gosh I don’t know how you can bear to leave your baby (I recently left mine with my sister for 4 hours for the first time), I don’t think I could leave Kevin as our bond is too strong and he needs me

Maybe I’m being sensitive but it feels like she thinks she loves Kevin more than the rest of us love our kids (which I don’t think is true), has anyone else experienced this or AIBU?

I think it's lovely she is enjoying it so much and telling the world so.

Why put a damper on her joy?

PollyBell · 18/08/2025 11:41

Hedgehogbrown · 18/08/2025 11:25

If you take what she says as a reflexion on your own parenting, then that's on you. You need to sort out that insecurity. Imagine hearing a new Mother express her absolute joy at being a Mother and thinking 'jist you wait' well some people feel joy even when their babies are older as well. How will you cope if she doesn't grow to hate it? You are making an issue out of nothing here. And it's women like you (and others on this thread) who create the false idea that women brag about their children to put other women down. It's just a way to get women to think they should hate each other.

There is a difference in saying things like 'I love my child more than anything in the world and never want to be away from them' and 'how could anyone else leave their child for a second'

Nothing in the world anyone can say about parenting would make me feel judged personally but I can say I have never ever said things about other parents to convince myself and I am perfect or better parent than anyone else

And no excuses like new mums are also neurotic and insane or how anyone else wants to judge it make it any better

I was a perfectly sane normal person before my child was born and I was the samd once I had a child

I will stand by thinking parents who think the whole world had to stop and change because they have done something thousands of women do every day are off their trolley, but no it doesn't personally make me think anything different to my own parenting, I do wonder how the increase in child mental health issues come about but at times it isn't that hard to work out why

InMyShowgirlEra · 18/08/2025 11:33

Oh gosh, that would wind me right up.

I think we all THINK it. My baby was the cutest, most intelligent, most perfect baby that had ever been and I loved her more than any human had ever loved. I believed that in my heart, but my head knew it was bollocks, and I'd have never said it out loud.

HAPPILYMARRIEDSINCE2012 · 18/08/2025 11:32

Dreamondreaminon · 18/08/2025 09:15

Nope, I never felt the need to compare my bond with my kids with my friends' bond with their kids and make it sound like mine is stronger/better/whatever. That's a realy odd and annoying thing to do, tbh.

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Agree

DeLaRuiz · 18/08/2025 11:27

She’s brimming with love hormones. Cut her some slack!!

Hedgehogbrown · 18/08/2025 11:25

If you take what she says as a reflexion on your own parenting, then that's on you. You need to sort out that insecurity. Imagine hearing a new Mother express her absolute joy at being a Mother and thinking 'jist you wait' well some people feel joy even when their babies are older as well. How will you cope if she doesn't grow to hate it? You are making an issue out of nothing here. And it's women like you (and others on this thread) who create the false idea that women brag about their children to put other women down. It's just a way to get women to think they should hate each other.

laura246810 · 18/08/2025 11:21

Annoying but it is ultimately harmless and will pass.

I doubt she really thinks you love your kids any less. More likely looking for reasurance on things she is doing differently to you.

Cranberryavocado · 18/08/2025 11:17

DurinsBane · 18/08/2025 09:24

Kevin would be a great name for a baby! 😁

I went out with a Kevin in my youth. There have been babies called Kevin😂

Cranberryavocado · 18/08/2025 11:14

I definitely said some unhinged things in the first 6 months. The combination of very little sleep and not really having normal adult conversations that are not about the baby in that time can make you lose perspective. She is annoying you sure, but actually she might be very lonely and Kevin is her whole world right now. I remember I spent so long in my little village with my baby as we werr both unwell that when I finally went to the town shopping centre nearby I felt like I was in a foreighn country, they had a german sausage stand and I remember thinking, wow, how multicultural 😂she will come out of her bubble soon. Or not, I personally dont think I have ever gone back to 'normal'.

TunnocksOrDeath · 18/08/2025 10:59

Digidestined · 18/08/2025 10:06

What a mean spirited thread.

It's not a given that she's struggling and miserable and faking being happy, that's a whole.load of projection from the vipers. Some mums just love being with their baby all the time.

My daughter is 15 months and I still won't leave her without anyone other than my husband unless it's an emergency. She goes to nursery two afternoons a week while we're both at work and the rest of the time she's at home with one of us. I didn't leave her with my husband until she was 6 months old and even then it was only for a few hours at a time. I still did everything I did before having her, I just took her with me. She's spent half her life in a sling around horses while I muck out and stuff hay nets. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being attached to your baby.

I have no idea how parents of babies can leave their baby with grandparents overnight or even for a whole weekend which is what someone I know did! Bonkers. I really don't understand the mums who complain endlessly about their kids and are always desperate to hand them off to anyone who will take them. It's sad.

OMG. How incompetent is your husband that he couldn't be trusted with your PFB until she was six months old?
LTB.

Chipsahoy · 18/08/2025 10:39

She will likely change her tune or utterly stifle the poor kid as he gets older and become totally enmeshed.

DarklingIlisten · 18/08/2025 10:35

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NotEnoughKnittingTime · 18/08/2025 10:34

Digidestined · 18/08/2025 10:06

What a mean spirited thread.

It's not a given that she's struggling and miserable and faking being happy, that's a whole.load of projection from the vipers. Some mums just love being with their baby all the time.

My daughter is 15 months and I still won't leave her without anyone other than my husband unless it's an emergency. She goes to nursery two afternoons a week while we're both at work and the rest of the time she's at home with one of us. I didn't leave her with my husband until she was 6 months old and even then it was only for a few hours at a time. I still did everything I did before having her, I just took her with me. She's spent half her life in a sling around horses while I muck out and stuff hay nets. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being attached to your baby.

I have no idea how parents of babies can leave their baby with grandparents overnight or even for a whole weekend which is what someone I know did! Bonkers. I really don't understand the mums who complain endlessly about their kids and are always desperate to hand them off to anyone who will take them. It's sad.

Wait until she is three. You will change your mind.

Ddakji · 18/08/2025 10:30

Digidestined · 18/08/2025 10:06

What a mean spirited thread.

It's not a given that she's struggling and miserable and faking being happy, that's a whole.load of projection from the vipers. Some mums just love being with their baby all the time.

My daughter is 15 months and I still won't leave her without anyone other than my husband unless it's an emergency. She goes to nursery two afternoons a week while we're both at work and the rest of the time she's at home with one of us. I didn't leave her with my husband until she was 6 months old and even then it was only for a few hours at a time. I still did everything I did before having her, I just took her with me. She's spent half her life in a sling around horses while I muck out and stuff hay nets. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being attached to your baby.

I have no idea how parents of babies can leave their baby with grandparents overnight or even for a whole weekend which is what someone I know did! Bonkers. I really don't understand the mums who complain endlessly about their kids and are always desperate to hand them off to anyone who will take them. It's sad.

Your post is also mean-spirited.

And you do leave your baby with someone other than you/your DH if she’s in nursery 2 afternoons a week.

I could shame you for doing that as I didn’t send DD to nursery until she was 2. But I won’t because that would be pretty shitty of me.

Astleyxyz · 18/08/2025 10:30

Digidestined · 18/08/2025 10:06

What a mean spirited thread.

It's not a given that she's struggling and miserable and faking being happy, that's a whole.load of projection from the vipers. Some mums just love being with their baby all the time.

My daughter is 15 months and I still won't leave her without anyone other than my husband unless it's an emergency. She goes to nursery two afternoons a week while we're both at work and the rest of the time she's at home with one of us. I didn't leave her with my husband until she was 6 months old and even then it was only for a few hours at a time. I still did everything I did before having her, I just took her with me. She's spent half her life in a sling around horses while I muck out and stuff hay nets. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being attached to your baby.

I have no idea how parents of babies can leave their baby with grandparents overnight or even for a whole weekend which is what someone I know did! Bonkers. I really don't understand the mums who complain endlessly about their kids and are always desperate to hand them off to anyone who will take them. It's sad.

Yey !! Let’s shame all the working parents who didn’t have a choice but to leave their babies with relatives or childcare ffs, because they have bills to pay.

Jollyjoy · 18/08/2025 10:29

I had to swerve these kind of mums during my first baby’s first year. At the time I found it all so hard that I assumed everyone did and therefore people who spoke like this were not open and actively trying to cover up their struggles, fine but I didn’t have time for it. Naturally I bonded with those I could be open and moan with.

Later with experience and hindsight, I came to realise that not all mums struggle; some have babies who sleep and just get to do normal things while adoring their baby!! While many of us were on our knees trying to survive sleep deprivation and dealing with all the associated complicated feelings - of also adoring your baby but said baby being the apparent source of a lot of suffering. If you like her and have the patience to just let these comments go, or want to try telling her how she comes across, go for it. Otherwise just gravitate towards others that you will feel more connected to.