To find these comments from new mum friend intensely irritating

God, she sounds like a total bore.

I'm more concerned about what you did to your child's bond with their father by never letting them have a moment alone together before 6 months. 😢By 6 months, my husband and I were equal parents and he did everything I did except breastfeeding, I can't imagine how much they'd have both missed out on if I'd kept my baby like property.

Oh ignore the dickheads op. You’re perfectly right to be irritated. I would just take the piss and say “yes well you’re obviously such a better mother than the rest of us. We must not love our babies much at all compared to your infinite love for Kevin…” and roll your eyes. Hopefully holding a mirror up to her ridiculous affirmations might make her come back to reality a bit.

Of course there's nothing wrong with leaving a baby with their father before six months or with grandparents for a few hours. Bit I chose not to, because I didn't want to leave my baby. Which massively riles up the ones crowing about how desperate you'll be to palm them off. I do believe it's wrong to leave a young baby for a whole weekend from a biological and attachment point of view.

These kinds of "I can't believe" blanket statements irritate people, make them feel they're are doing something wrong, whilst giving you the pleasure of appearing, falsely, oh so righteous.

I haven't made any self righteous comments or "I can't believe" statements, I simply don't understand these people. There are lots of people I don't understand in life. I can't understand the spitefulness they show jeering at happy mums that they too will be desperate to palm their kids off soon enough either. I think it's sad that they feel that way, they're clearly unhappy to wish misery on the rest of us.

If it's oh so righteous to tell these spiteful harpies that actually some mums enjoy being with their babies all the time and it's not a given that they will want to give their kids over to whoever will take them for an hour soon because they're awful and annoying, then I'll gladly take that medal thanks ☺️

As for making vulnerable new mums feel stressed by having an opinion, don't be ridiculous.

And there's absolutely nothing wrong with leaving your baby with their father before six months, or with grandparents for a few hours. This is so context dependent. What kind of father, what kind of grandparent. How involved, how capable, how loving, how nurturing they are, what's your relationship with them... These kinds of "I can't believe" blanket statements irritate people, make them feel they're are doing something wrong, whilst giving you the pleasure of appearing, falsely, oh so righteous. Especially new and first time mums can be emotionally vulnerable and making such generalist, frankly unthoughtful comments only creates stress on them whilst making you feel superior. But you aren't. A superior person would be non judgmental, and understanding. Here is a medal, bravo.

And there's absolutely nothing wrong with leaving your baby with their father before six months, or with grandparents for a few hours. This is so context dependent. What kind of father, what kind of grandparent. How involved, how capable, how loving, how nurturing they are, what's your relationship with them... These kinds of "I can't believe" blanket statements irritate people, make them feel they're are doing something wrong, whilst giving you the pleasure of appearing, falsely, oh so righteous. Especially new and first time mums can be emotionally vulnerable and making such generalist, frankly unthoughtful comments only creates stress on them whilst making you feel superior. But you aren't. A superior person would be non judgmental, and understanding. Here is a medal, bravo.

Also, according to this thread there is something wrong with liking having your child with you. There are a lot of unhappy people on this thread.

Having an older child sleep over at grandparents occasionally is very different from leaving a young baby for a whole weekend. That's not normal in my opinion and it's the ones desperate to hand their kids off to anyone who will have them for an hour that are judging and taking the piss out of a mum who doesn't want to leave her baby like it's weird and she's just being stupid and one day she will see that actually Kevin is awful and she'll be desperate to ditch him too. Mean mummies indeed.

I stand by my statement.

There's nothing wrong with liking having your child with you. It doesn't mean that mums who let their child sleep over at their grandparents occasionally don't enjoy their child's company. It's definitely very bitchy for you to call them 'miserable mummies'.

I have a baby boy and this is so odd. I'm sorry people said that to you! I love my son just as much as id have loved a girl and the same amount as anyone else!

You call this a mean-spirited threat and then you come out with this judgemental load of crap:

'I have no idea how parents of babies can leave their baby with grandparents overnight or even for a whole weekend which is what someone I know did! Bonkers. I really don't understand the mums who complain endlessly about their kids and are always desperate to hand them off to anyone who will take them. It's sad.'

I got from mum friends with boys that they loved their babies more because of the special mum son thing. I don't know why it upset me but it did at the time, very deeply. I felt they pitied me and I was missing out. Of course I should have focused on me and my baby but it's a time when you are very sensitive and other people can be extremely insensitive

Cool.

I agree that those comments are mean-spirited, I just think your post was as well.

Shame away. I wouldn't pay any notice.

Loving being with your babies and not wanting to be separated from them is fine and normal, why is there 6 pages of mean spirited comments saying "She'll see! She'll be desperate to palm him off soon when Kevin is awful!"? So they can all point and laugh at the happy mum who loves being with her baby when she realises how shit it actually is? Because they want her to be unhappy and stressed like they are? This thread is dripping with "I'm miserable and can't wait for you to be too!" vibes. For some reason it really annoys other mums when a mum is actually happy with her baby, you see it here all the time and in real life.

I work full time. So does my husband.

No shame for working parents here, you're imagining it.

I haven't claimed I love my baby any more than else.

I just find the culture of telling mums that are attached to their babies that "They will see!! They'll be desperate to palm them off on anyone who will have them for half an hour in two months!!" Weird and sad. It's very often not true, they just want it to be, for some strange reason. It was repeated to me a lot when my daughter was born, id be desperate to get rid of her for an hour by the time she's 6 months old! Then that came and went and people said I'd be desperate to get rid of her for a few hours by 8 months! Then that came and went. People have only just stopped telling me I'll be desperate to get rid of her a for a few hours soon and she's 15 months.

Why are women so hell-bent on telling other women how desperate they will be to palm their kids off for an hour in the future so that they can presumably laugh at them and say see! That baby love haze didn't last did it!? It's just mean spirited and sad.

If Kevin is still very new then your friend is still in the whirlwind of shock and awe. She will stop soon.

Awwww the new born stage is so special. I remember spending hours just staring at my brand new baby.

try to be kind to her - I’m sure her hormones are all over the place. Maybe have some stock replies like above when she’s being like this?

Ah don’t overthink it, she’s just verbalising what everyone secretly thinks anyway - our own babies are always the most loved/precious/special.

Just smile and nod.

Good for you! There's nothing wrong with being attached to your baby!

It's such a shame all these nasty women need to take the piss out of women who are attached to their babies and make snide comments about how she will be dying to hand her baby off in 6 months to anyone who will have him. Spoiler, I didn't and she may not either! That will really annoy them won't it!

Lol there's always a fence between me and the horses if my daughter is in the sling, I never handle the horses while she's with me. I don't take any risks with her safety but thanks for your concern 😉

Nurseries are good for socialisation but if you think they're going to murder your child then it's your right not to use them. No one is making you.

😂