So overwhelmed with newborn, handhold please

That's great to know. Enjoy the precious time with him x

I’ve been thinking about you OP! My little one is now 6 months and I could have written your post word for word. So glad you’re doing better

I miss the early days too, but thats with the benefit of rose tinted glasses and not having to do it anymore.

Its not wishing the years away to be tearing you hair out due to lack of sleep etc. Dont feel that you should always be on cloud nine, life just isnt like that!

My second had awful silent reflux, that wasnt diagnosed until years later (at the time was told "oh its just colic") and I loved her of course, still do, but at times I really didnt like her very much at all because fuck me it was hard! So if you can get help then please do accept it x

I am reading this with mine grown and flown - and there are times I wish i could go back to the time when mine needed me as much as your little boy needs you. The dusting can wait till they are at nursery/school/university.
I am lucky enough to have grandchildren so if your DPs or in laws offer to help then take it

My youngest would only sleep during the day in our arms or the baby bouncer.

I use a sling during the day when I can’t put baby down and need to do things with my toddler, you could try that? Glad the night sleep has got better for you, everything feels so overwhelmingly hard when you’re getting next to no sleep.

Mine screamed in the carseat, pram and cot until about 4/5 months. And only slept for 1-2hrs between feeds until 8months. Every nap before then was in arms or a sling. Now my last baby is 7months and I'm feeling sad these naps will soon be over!

I think you're doing really well. Use white noise in pram so the transition to the house is smoother when coming in from a walk.

My baby did all his naps, except the morning one, in my arms (not even just next to me, had to be held) until we sleep trained around 5.5 months.

Did you look into getting a rockit? It basically rocks them in whatever theyre sleeping in. Rockit clipped on to pram or moses basket & white noise might help. So glad you're getting a good rest at night though it makes the difference! I used to wrap my baby up warm and rock her in the back garden in her pram then once she was asleep I left her& pottered around indoors ( obviously always nearby) she just slept better in the fresh air!

I put mine down in the cot in our bedroom for daytime naps, blinds down white noise on and I napped next to them 🤣 I still got nothing done but the rest was wonderful! It also got them used to napping upstairs in a dark room too so when they were a bit older I could leave them up there and go and get a few things done.

Remember the fourth trimester is rough! The first three months with my twins if everyone just survived the day it was an absolute win.

Aw it’s tough isn’t it. My newborn is 4 weeks old today and we’ve found it so tough. Everyone keeps telling me it gets easier and I really hope it does!
We had him in his crib in our room on night one and we realised it didn’t work as he wake every three hours, so it was both of us waking up every three hours, and from 3-5am he just screamed and nothing we did worked.
So now we do shifts and it works better, but it makes me cry all the time to think that my boyfriend and I don’t get to sleep in the same bed together any more. I go to bed at 9pm and my boyfriend stays downstairs with him feeding/burping/napping on the couch until 2am when we swap over. This gives me 5hrs uninterrupted sleep. Then I’m doing my night shift, feeding/burping/napping on the couch until around 7am, and that’s when my boyfriend gets his 5 hours uninterrupted before he gets up for work. I find the night shifts really, really tough. Especially when he cries and cries and I don’t know what to do.
I also have those feelings of thinking “this is my life now” and thinking about how easy life was before. I get scared thinking this is forever!
But at the same time, four weeks in and we are adjusting and things feel easier. Those first two weeks were so, so hard but things do feel better now as we are getting more into a rhythm.
I really hope as the days go on you find yourself in more of a routine. Sending love!

One of those contraptions that warms up the wipes might help if he gets getting his nappy changed. They do grow out of that quite quickly though and you’ll get more efficient at nappy changing.

Yeah I remember the poo after the breastfeed when they're sleepy, it's very frustrating. It didn't last long though, by about 10-12 weeks he wasn't pooing at night anymore.

This is me too. 25 years ago. Planned C-section due to position of baby. Home a couple of days and I was crying my eyes out saying what have we done, I want my old life back! I swore no dummies beforehand but that night I sent my partner out to find an all-night supermarket and told him not to come back without one. It really did help with soothing and settling. It does get better but the lack of sleep is hell at the time and was much worse than I expected. You’re not alone but you will get there. Xx

You know my eldest is 26 but I could have written your post back then. It’s all still so fresh in my memory. First babies are often harder because you’re so anxious and worried about doing the wrong thing and adjusting to no/very little sleep is really hard. Put that on top of a difficult birth and it’s a shitstorm. I didn’t have a section with my first but did have a bad tear which got infected and could barely walk. Like you the days were great but early evening and nights was hell on earth. Honestly it will get better. I resorted to sleeping upright with my baby on my chest because he constantly puked when laid down. Try to rest during the day when your baby sleeps and try to go for a walk every day, it really helps with your mental health xx

Congratulations on your baby! Babies are hard wired to be next to you. I put my mattress on the floor, my husband moved to a different bedroom and me and my baby (both times) slept on the floor bed. No pillows and separate covers. They went from sleeping 10 mins and lots of crying to sleeping 3 hour stretches.

Some disagree with this but separate sleeping spaces are relatively new in the grand scheme of things.

Don't change it just for a little wee (I used to whenever I saw that blue line). Turns out it's not needed 😐.

Does he have a dummy - I know people hate them but for sleep and re-settling they can be wonderful. So bottle, nappy, dummy and I’d suggest swaddle?

Are you sure there isn’t some intolerance to the milk he is on? Speak to your health visitor team, but him emptying his bowels immediately after milk would to me hint towards an intolerance - which would also marry up with him crying a lot / not settling / seeming uncomfortable.

when you look at his poo is there any mucus?

I’m breastfeeding so slightly different but I tend to feed him, then change him mid feed, then feed him some more after. Could you replicate this with the bottle? So give him enough that he does his poo, then change him, then feed him the remainder?
I’ve also found white noise is helping us all get better sleep and keeping the lights off and relying on a night light stops us all waking up too much.

Newborns are really hard and it sounds like you’re having a particularly tough time OP, but they do grow out of it honestly, it will get better.