To think we should cancel our holiday

I agree with a PP - if you don't do something, that 150k is going to disappear anyway, frittered away on frivolous, unnecessary expenditure, so you may as well get a holiday out of it.

Here's what I think you should do: make a deal with your husband that you will go on the holiday IF he agrees to put the remainder of the 150K in a high-interest ISA that neither of you can access for a certain amount of time, say 12 months.

Then, YOU do the research on the best account (comparison websites can help with that), YOU do the legwork to set up the account, drag him to the branch if necessary, or stand over his shoulder, make sure he transfers it.

OR just buy a house straight away??!! Where I live, £150K would buy you 75% of a three bed house, but even if you're in London it would go a long way towards a house so you'd have a relatively small mortgage. I have no idea why buying a house doesn't seem to be an immediate possibility for you with £150K in the bank but that would seem to be the obvious thing to do...

But either way, make it a deal: if he wants the holiday, it's on condition of doing something sensible with the money.

Who's inheritance is it? sounds like its actually his so its up to him what he spends it on.
You also agreed to booking the trip.

Inheritance is not a marital asset so there is no 'WE' come into money.

Why on earth did you marry him???

What figure did you agree on with regards to the house deposit? You need to act now and move what’s left of the £150k to an account that he can’t access if you really want to buy a house.

You’re clearly young so probably haven’t thought much about the costs of raising kids or saving for a pension but you don’t want to get to retirement age with very few savings and a partner that’s a spendthrift. He needs to learn to start saving, any fool can spend money.

With his awful attitude towards frittering money away and dipping into savings, you’re either going to have to take full control of the money and give him an allowance or get divorced because this won’t work longer term if you ignore the problem hoping he’ll suddenly change his personality!

If he hasn’t managed to save anything from his job this year, does that mean that you’re the only person doing any savings?

This would piss me right off.

@Azandme yep you're right. I got it wrong.

Inheritance can be divvied up in a divorce depending on the circumstances but not automatically a marital asset.

This sounds like my husband. Long story short we nearly got divorced and then after our son was diagnosed with ADHD DH was diagnosed too and it all of a suddenly made sense. We completely combined finances now with agreed “fun money” for each of us to spend on things we want with no input from the other required and we have a monthly meeting about money but ultimately I have had to take responsibility for all the admin. Setting up DDs, investing, pensions etc We are now a good team as playing to our strengths and I’m happy with our financial future and so is he. We don’t fight about money anymore which is a massive positive

I don't understand why the money hasn't been used to buy a house. £150k is a large deposit. It does seem ridiculous to stay in rented accommodation with that amount of money in the bank.

I'm assuming that the inheritance came from your DH's side of the family, otherwise you could insist on using it for a deposit which would benefit the family and also make financial sense.

This is what i would do:

Move whatever is left of the £150k into two 1 yr fixed term accounts with two different banks so that there is no more than £85k in each or if the inheritance was to you, two accounts in your name only. Use the time for the rest of my post below, before you sink all the money into a deposit.

Ask DH to do couples counselling with you and find a counsellor who specialises in money / finances.

Set a strict budget for the US holiday. If you have a lot of airmiles, then I wouldn't want to lose them, but id take control of the planning and spending money.

Rearrange your finances so that your DH cant fritter away what isnt his. DH and I have one joint account for bills and household spending then a sole account each for "fun spends".

Book the financial advisor yourself - don't wait for him to do it. Just tell DH where and when he needs to be.

Find an individual therapist to help you work through whether you want to remain with your DH. I wouldn't be able to be with someone with such a different attitude to money to me, but all of us prioritise different things and working through it on your own with someone might help.

Once you've decided what you want the future to look like, when the fixed term accounts expire, start looking for the house

Agree with this 👌

I think neither of you are being unreasonable, you just have different priorities and are not financially compatible. I'd seek relationship counselling to try to find a happy medium, or accept it isn't going to work.

Under UK law inheritance isn't a matrimonial asset...

Who’s family did you inherit from
I know it was from my DH’s I would give him the main say in how to handle it

If you have a substantial airmiles voucher I would still use it but agree a strict budget for the rest of the trip and stick to it. I would then put the rest of the cash somewhere where it cannot be accessed easily (e.g. a notice account ideally requiring both parties signiture on withdrawals). If you are looking to use it on a house purchase using a financial advisor doesn't make much sense as they will typically advise on longer term investments.

Either that or use it to buy a house. £150k will be over 50% in most parts of the country. You'll save in rent.

Get the money invested in harder to access locations. Stocks and shares whilst sellable aren’t as easily accessible instantly as cash. At 5% this would have grown that money by £7.5k and 8% dividends would have brought in £12k. If you’re not confident, seek some advice and don’t wait on your husband booking it because he clearly isn’t going to

Is this your inheritance or his?
When are you planning to buy a house? Presumably using the 150k as a deposit? If that realistic where you live?
If he's not paying a credit card on time will he actually be able to get a mortgage?
Do you actually want to tie yourself to a mortgage with someone who doesn't pay their bills?

The holiday is the least of your worries.

@Sesma - legally, as they are married, the inheritance is a marital asset.

My DH inherited money and we treated it as 'our' money, funnily enough, we spent it on our house. I will do the same if I inherit money, it will go towards what the family need.

Please, please put that money into an ISA or something so you’re OH can’t keep dipping into it, it’ll just cause distress and resentment in the long run if he ends up spending large sums on nothing without your agreement! It must be incredibly frustrating for you OP.

Does DH earn lots, big salary is he young? He sounds like a young banker type who thinks he’s invincible.

id take all of the advice, go on the trip you may as well enjoy, book a FA and get a joint account set up.

Just plonk him down and tell him you are financially incompetent and need some help before you blow everything, get some pensions set up get some savings and investments sorted and get a home.

If it is his inheritance there is not much you can do, if it is yours, why is he anywhere near it.

Is it his inheritance? If so then it is his to fritter, however infuriating and foolish that is.

i could not be with someone who has such a different attitude to money as I ido. It would make me both hugely anxious and also angry. That’s no basis for a healthy relationship and a financial mismatch is really problematic- it’s up there with the big issues in a marriage tbh.

I think this would be crunch time for me. Sit him down and spell out how you feel. If he feels differently and/or says he will be more in line with your approach but isn’t, then I’d have to get out however much I love him.

These are the kinds of people that snowball into debt over years. It’s all well and good frittering away money that’s sat there (mad imho but fair enough if that’s how you want to spend it) but what about if he loses his job? costs go up unexpectedly, one of you gets ill etc etc. If he hasn’t got a sound handle on saving and planning then he could be in trouble.

Again some people will suit this way of living and some won’t. If you aren’t on the same page I think it spells enormous trouble. And I don’t think you can change him.

By lower do you mean it hasn’t grown as much as you hoped (you’ve saved less) or it is lower than it was last time you looked? The first is pretty much how everyone feels when saving, the second would suggest being irresponsible around money (it shouldn’t be lower if you are actively saving).
That is a red flag and would need an agreement that the irresponsible person agrees to do something about it.

I have a friend who divorced her ex for similar attitudes to.money. she ended up having to give him an allowance like a child which he'd blow through and then ask for.more.
He's still terrible with money, being evicted a couple of times, has CCJ s etc. People with an easy come easy go attitude to money are highly unlikely to change

Whose inheritance was it, they don't generally go to two people

Why is the £150k accessible? Is it just in a current account???

Surely you'd lock that away somewhere where you need both of you to approve if money is wanted out of it.

That money will be gone by Xmas if you don't. And you know he's shit with it so you need to take over all financial stuff. Why wait for him to book an ifa? It's never going to happen.