New man’s house is filthy

There is no such thing as being "OCDish". It is a serious mental illness

What utter rubbish. I have OCD "tendencies". I keep it under control. I'm 55 now and my mother (if she was still alive) would tell you about the weird OCD things I have been doing since toddler hood. Repetitive things that I had to do, or everyone would die. I still do them now. No one would ever know, because I keep it a secret. I say OCD tendencies because I don't let it ruin my life. For me it's not about cleanliness though, it's about rituals. I could list the things I do, but I'd sound utterly batshit, so I'll spare the details.

Yes

When I met her,she seemed 'normal' enough (sorry if that offends anyone)

She invited me back and I was nearly sick-you could smell her house from down the street

I've never seen anything so filthy in my life,the dirt was inches thick,the windows where so thick with dirt,you couldn't see in or out and the dust made me gag

I was bursting to use the loo (when I have to go,I really have to go,I can't hold it and for the first time in my life,i hovered)

I'm not snob (i swear) and can be a bit lax with my own housework (I've never cleaned my skirting boards,my windowsills need another dust and behind my TV needs a mop) but this was another level

I could smell her house on me after two showers and a change of pyjamas

Best bit?

Shes a cleaner...!

Dumped the pig already?

I wonder if she actually sat on the black toilet😱

Neighbour has a bit of self awareness.

How overgrown is it. Are there abandoned cars in there like they Keep finding in Bangers and Csh

I am sorry OP but I can’t believe you’re even acknowledging him as your “new man” after reading what can only be described as putrescence of the highest order.

Maybe see if he’d consider paying a cleaner to do some deep cleans to get the house back to where it should be?

Not sure if this has been said, but I wouldn’t take him at his word that he’s going to sort it out. Now that you’ve gone back again you’ve sort of told him you’re ok with it. I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t bother.

When I moved in to my house, my next door neighbour’s garden was a bit of a state. I didn’t really think much of it. When I met the neighbour the first thing he said to me was that he was going to sort it out and hadn’t got round to it since his wife left him. I then realised it was quite bad (I hadn’t really paid any attention until he drew my attention). Then found out from my other neighbour his wife had left years ago. I’ve been here 4 years and my neighbour’s house and garden have only got worse. He doesn’t open the door to anyone ever because he’s so ashamed of it. But it still keeps getting worse.

You are not compatible. Flee before you waste more time investing in non starter. This person is not "adulting" successfully yet. You deserve so much more than a project

Some women get home cooked meals and foot rubs in their prospective partners homes, in the early days, when the bloke is eager to impress. You've been left wondering which piss smells are human and which are animal, all the which with the vague expectation that you should somehow be grateful because he's tried 😂Oh dear OP. If he really is perfect in every other way, just be brutally honest. If he gives his head a wobble and realises how far his standards have slipped, then gets off his arse to get it clean (and keep it clean), I might consider carrying on dating him. If he is grudging or "bewildered" or only gives it half a go, I'd end it sooner rather than later. It's not even like you can keep it casual long term, and not move in together, because you'll be there with the dogs anyway...

This woman has not cleaned her loo or wiped down a surface in over 35 years???????? WTAF?????

It sounds absolutely disgusting. My in-laws have nine dogs and you would be hard pressed to find a hair on the floor and your feet definitely wouldn’t turn black walking around.

Let’s call this out for what it is. This man is deeply unhygienic and deeply unconcerned with cleanliness.

Your move….

Well as my name might suggest, this would be a no for me.

There is no way I could relax in a place like this or fancy someone who can.

Yuk. Just say your not interested unless he cleans up his act. Hes a new man, so why stay? You cant be that invested. Sounds disgusting.

I think @Amazingstoke is on to something here. This reminded me i was with someone who was an alcoholic going by the amount he consumed. In 1 year we were ‘together’ he never invited me to his place as it was dirty. He never had time to clean up. Despite not having a job or anything that would consume his time otherwise.

That would explain a lot.

I dont know, ,......when we first got together my other half mistook the wardrobe opposite my bed for the bathroom after a few to many drinks and i caught him pissing into it
He never did it again
And we are still together 12 years on...

that's disgusting. No amount of love could make me love his filth.

Yuck OP. Don't you have any standards?

If someone shows you who they are, believe them.

This is his true nature and his 'set point'.

He may make an effort to tidy up for you but everything he does will be from this 'set point' and it'll feel like an effort to him to get it to anything like an acceptable level.

Another man child.

There really are rick pickings of these types of men up and down the land, dare i say it, the globe.

Mothers and fathers really need to do better and teach their sons to clean from a young age. Yes, the fucking toilet bowl.

Dealbreaker for me.

This is not just one small thing. A clean environment is so much better for your mental health. Failing to clean before you arrived shows a lack of respect for you.

Looking to the future, I would never want to go to his house again and certainly would never move in with him. So why bother continuing?

My god i couldnt have stayed there the night
Id have to spell it out for him, you like him and would like to continue a relationship BUT until he sorts his house out and gets it up to a bare minimum clean standard AT LEAST you cant go there and wont be staying there
The whole place sounds bloody disgusting.i hate shitty toilets and those who dont clean them
You dont even need to scrub with a brush a quick wipe round and a good squirt of bleach round the inside everyday and leave it to soak in
Next flush it will be right as rain
Cant u understand why people cant do this simple task
Hoovering too why do men mop without hoovering first and dont get me started on hanging out washing
Are they really all incapable or do they just not care and want to be scruffy bastards
Arghhhhhh!!!!!

Exactly this. Also its 2025 plenty of You Tube videos on how to scrub your toilet or best ways of getting rid of pet hair. There really isn't an excuse of I didn't get taught.

Ugh makes me feel ick

Yuk - deal breaker for me I’m afraid!

Mothers aren’t the only parents.

I also don’t get why being in your 20s means never having had to do housework.