I have a meeting on GCSE results day

AIBU or is this not a huge deal?

Every child and every family is different.

I would have been mortified if my parents came to school with me on results day.

I got mine in 2010, me and my friends went to school together in the morning, collected our results and then just sunbathed on the school field for the next few hours. Think I text my mum my results - but exam results weren’t a huge deal in my family anyway. My parents always said “Just try your best” they didn’t care if I got A’s or F’s, as long as I was happy and healthy. And that’s exactly the attitude I’ll have for my kids.

I was teaching in 1995 and in school for every results day in the 90s except for 1999. I can only remember a handful of parents attending with their children.

When the school buses don't run in the school holidays and the school is in a market town with poor public transport (in our case).

I waited in the car park for DD when she got her results, then I went inside because it took ages for her to enrol for 6th form, and it was cold and raining.

Like might plans have to change?

Is there potential that his grades might alter his next plans? If he is on the borderline, say with whether he'll get the grade to do a particular A-level or other course he really wants, or not, then one of his parents NEEDS to be there. Otherwise grandad being there is fine. I still remember phoning my great-aunt (basically nana as all my grandparents died before I was born), soon after I got my GCSE results and her being really happy for me. She was 90 and 3 months at the time and passed before she was 91, so it's a very special memory as she wasn't there for A-levels or BA or MA.

If he wanted you there then yeah, its a huge deal and yabu, sorry

Cancel the meeting and be there for your step son

It's clearly a big deal to him and probably depends on what his friends are doing but it sounds like there's not a lot you can do now.
Just make a huge fuss of him, go out to celebrate in the evening, get a congratulations card and stick some money inside.
Is he staying on at 6th form/going to college and is his place dependant on his GCSE results? Because I think that makes a big difference.
Who will be on hand to support him if he doesn't get a place?
I've 4DC and tbh I've been led by them on GCSE result day.
Sometimes they just wanted to go with friends ( with me waiting anxiously by the phone!) other times they wanted me there - or at least waiting in car.
It's always a big deal and a big day for them.

If he goes onto do ALevels and wants to go to uni be prepared to take day off on ALevel results day in case he nerds to go through clearing.

Totally depends on the kid. I went on my own, so did my brother because we knew we would at least have passed, dad went with oldest two brothers, mum and dad went with my sister (because she was liable to totally freak out), other brother didn’t even know what day it was so didn’t pick his up.

I am a maths tutor and sometimes I have students who go alone, sometimes their parents take them. Once I’ve taken a student since I was taking my niece. All I can say is if it means a lot to him - take him. If you think he’s done okay, and he’s happy to go on his one or with just his dad, don’t go.

Guess it was different at different schools/areas 🤷‍♀️ Certainly with most of my friends we were pretty independent and parents weren't involved in a great deal by that point. Mine were mega supportive though, just never would have crossed our minds they needed to go with me.

I’ve just reminded my poor parents today about them making us all be away on my GCSE results day! And there was no internet to speak of / email in those days.

Mine were 1995 and I believe most people went with their parents.

My parents booked a holiday during my GCSE results day - leaving me to do it on my own. I was gutted and even 15 years later, I haven’t forgiven them for not wanting to be a part of a big day of mine. Parents don’t really attend in the pick up, but it’s about being around to celebrate/support your child on the day.

YANBU. He’s your stepchild. My dad didn’t come with me for any of my results. My mum sat in the car for both - but for a levels we knew I’d got into uni.

Mine was 2006. It wouldn’t even occur to me to go with my child unless they asked me to. I’d be available via phone if I was working

It’s a huge deal I think.

Dd has hers on Thursday. I booked annual leave months ago, as has usually very flakey exh, and DS (11) has been shipped off to the GPs for the week (to be fair he wanted to go, and I’m working mon - weds).

However, the person not expected to revolve their live around it is her step-mum!

If anyone should be in the frame for having the day off it’s his dad! This is a “make sure you tell work not to arrange interviews on that day many months in advance and be there at all costs” situation.

Edit - that being said, when mine came out my parents booked for us all to be on holiday not getting back til the next day, so even I didn’t know mine on results day!

The results day has been known for over 12 months.

It is a bit of a shame no one planned ahead to be available.

My kids got their results by email. They didn’t have to go in so neither did we! If this child wants their parent to go, the dad has to take the time off not the OP. Why isn’t he the one twisting himself in knots with guilt?

You are being unreasonable.

I think it's really poor form that neither of you have prioritised him on what to him, -rightly or wrongly - is an important day.
I feel for him and you both should be looking for ways to make things work for him on Thursday.

Same, no ones parents went when I got mine, mine were both working anyway, I went with a friend. That was 1996.

He thinks it's important & that's all that matters

I dont think its life changing, I dont even think parents need to be there however results day is known all year so really someone could have made sure they were there, or at least asked him about it. Neither of mine were bothered, I went anyway and took them for food after. My job is really flexible but I booked it in as soon as we knew the date anyway. DH didnt go.

I would change it.

I started a new job in the day ds1 got his GCSE results. He said it was fine and it didn’t occur to me that that wouid be a problem or I’d be needed, in fact, he’d done far worse than expected and there was a lot of fallout, and I was at work with my phone off and unable to be there for him or take the calls from school etc. Very stressful for all concerned.

I went with my friends to get my results. I don’t think anyone’s parents attended.

My (2 so far) DCs have not had their results online. I don't think that's standard. We had to go in person to collect.

OP in truth at my DCs school the majority have had parents there for GCSE and A level results. Just done the latter with one. However, if it's impossible for.eithher of you to be there, then you've done the next best thing and arranged for someone else to be there. Your mistake really was in not telling him. You could have explained it properly instead of him having a shock realisation. Sounds like the poor kid has been through a lot and needs to know you've got his back. More so than a teen with a more secure family life.

Getting good or bad gcse results is not life changing, a small set back at 16.