I have a meeting on GCSE results day

I don't really think it's about the results for him it's about being supported and blindsided about it not being there. Not that is your fault it happens but I think not communicating that to him at the earliest opportunity and just dropping it in conversation has probably made him feel worse about it.

Just have a chat with him, validate his feelings over this, after all it's a massive compliment that a teenager wants to spend time with their parent! and if need be apologise for not realising how important it was to him one of you would be there.

My mother went no contact with me in my 20s and that was hard, even now 10yrs+ on its hard. I can't imagine it at 16. Regardless of how 'bad' the parent is it still makes you completely question your own self worth and you cling to any support you can find like a life ring.

My kids retorts were emailed to them around 8am? Not Covid about 2yrs ago

Some people really don’t read posts and they just write reactive comments.

The bottom line is that this child, for whatever reason, wants a parental figure there. And the right thing would be to accommodate this. And that needs to be his father.

He’s got his granddad with him so surely that’s enough? I think a lot of kids anxieties partly stem from over anxious parenting so play it cool and show him it’s not that big a deal. Will granddad take him somewhere nice for a coffee afterwards?

I’ve no idea when our kids get their junior cycle results (GCSE equivalent) but it’s not until late September when they’re back in school, so no big deal.

How did you miss the part where she clearly states he wanted them there and was disappointed when he learned they wouldn’t be?

But the OP's stepchild isn't you. Can you not see that?

In my day all results were posted to us (1975).

It doesn’t matter if other people’s DC go on their own,he wants you there and one of you should definitely go

Yes. We've know the results day date for a year. I booked it off months ago.

Although I accept some roles can't just take time off, but even so the dad couldhave tried.

After the level of indifference my dad showed after the one I did early, I knew not to expect anything for the others. I can still kind of remember it and it was 40 years ago. Didn’t go physically with my kids as here results are online. I don’t really remember and haven’t given it much thought. Our kids haven’t ever said anything either way though.

I have found this thread really interesting. Everyone brought their parents when I collected and I didn’t even coordinate the timing with my friends. I turned up, collected and I remember my mum being really really happy and then went out for lunch with them. I have zero recollection of seeing my close friends on that day. Collecting results I see as akin to graduation day, something you do with your family.

Some kids hate the thought of parents going, some need the support. My DD is worried about her results and has asked that I'll drive her in and wait in the car outside. Your DSD wants to share it with the step mum who cares because he can't share it with the one person who really should be there for him, his mum. Considering what a bad rap stepparents get on MN, I think it's lovely you mean so much to him.

Yes, but have you read the terms and conditions of the traineeship? Only saying this as dsis had a deadline of either accepting or declining by 11am on GCSE day. Has he got something similar?

The emotional support is important to him. It is normal to be nervous about the results. His dad dropped a ball.

Not all children are the same. Raising teenagers is not easy.

Regardless of our own experiences and thoughts on this, this child is asking for the presence of a parent figure, for whatever reason. So surely it would be important to facilitate this. The dad needs to step up.

I think if it’s a big deal to him, then it is, it doesn’t matter what other teenagers may feel.

I’d have a proper talk with him and say you realise how important it is to him and you’re sorry you and DH can’t be there at that specific time, you didn’t want that. However, your dad is really happy to take and support him as he really cares about him. You’ll be on the end of the phone for support if needed but you’re confident he will have done really well.

Then plan a little celebration/meal, whatever he’d like to celebrate his hard work that evening or another day if he wants to bet with friends.

You can tell that most of the posters on here live somewhere with excellent public transport or within walking distance of the school, and who cannot imagine what it is like to live somewhere where buses/underground/trams aren't every 10 minutes.

Like your situation parents are merely required to provide a taxi service (because taxis aren't plentiful either).

Frankly I’d have been mortified if my mum came in with me to collect/open results. It’s a rite of passage with your mates, surely?

Parents seem to want to get involved in everything nowadays!

If there is nothing you or his dad can do to get out of your work commitments, then that's the way it's got to be. Lots of kids go with friends - my son is going with friends on Thursday through choice (I did offer to go), so I will also be in the office.

I understand he wanted me there but AIBU to think this isn't a huge deal?

If you really believed that, why didn’t you tell him directly? Instead he hears it second hand.

Maybe he’s worried that it isn’t a big deal to you. I’m curious as why you are getting the pushback and not his biological father.

Apologise that he didn’t hear it from you and tell him you are proud of him and you would have loved to have been there in person.

DH and I are teachers so work on results days. DD is in Yr 10 but she’ll be collecting her results alone,
actually she’ll most likely go with her mates. I don’t think it’s a big deal. As long as your child knows they’re supported that’s the most important thing.

Exactly - you know the date months in advance. And if you want results by email you normally have to say so ages beforehand (at our school anyway).
I've got the whole day off. I'm taking my cue from friends whose daughter didn't do as well as she hoped, which meant a lot of frantic driving around to find a college that would accept her with lower grades.

Me and dh have taken the day off work to go with Dd on Thursday, the results are from 9 and we've got to get to the college for 10 to secure her place, (hopefully she'll get the results needed to get in or if not to discuss what options are ), and get her ID /schedule for the start in September.
All of her friends parents are doing the same. There's no way she'd be able to make the appointment going by bus.

My daughter preferred to go alone. She’s just got her A’ level results, and went with a friend.

You sound as awful as those kids that would have laughed by saying ‘mummy’. Were you perhaps one of those nasty kids?

It doesn’t matter what other kids do, this child would like his dad or step mum there. Dad should have made it so that he could have been around.

I cant see why needs someone to go with him. He'd have been laughed out of the school in my day if he turned up with his mummy. That said, if he wants a parent there, why are you feeling the guilt? You said he's your stepson. Surely this is your husband's issue, not yours? Does he feel as guilty as you do?

That’s what I meant really - that it will have varied