To seriously judge this man?

Completely agree

You don't know the full story

I also find this sort of thing flabberghasting. Not the end of the marriage, but moving away so far.

The best spin I can put on it is that he sees it as a choice between abandoning those kids or abandoning the new one. Which is certainly a difficult proposition if the new woman won't leave China.

Frankly though I think he's a fool to settle in China. I imagine a pp who says he is running away from his problems is correct.

As for the colleagues - it may be they are only supportive in a very shallow sense, because it's not a personal relationship and they don't see it as their role to be openly critical.

Shocking! What a scumbag

Happens all the time. Men don't always seem to have the same emotional attachments to kids as women do - just look at how many don't pay child support. On some level he knew this was possible when having an affair so he has had months with this possibility becoming a choice, whereas it seems a shock to everyone else.

And pins in condoms? Not desperately easy to be accurate without taking it out the packet. If the guy is really that concerned, again, keep them somewhere safe until needed.

If a man is sure he does not want children he takes personal responsibility with condoms or snip. It really IS that simple.

Well obviously I don't know him but I think "fuck that" is unacceptable when the "that" is his children who will grow up without their father. You only get one shot at it...coming back when they're older and probably won't want to see him is a total cop out. If she's that toxic and dangerous he should be getting the kids away from her, not swanning off to a different continent.

*newly pregnant, of course

He'll be back in six months

He should not be judged, poor guy. People should picture what they would say if it was a woman, nearly pregnant, moving to China with a new man abandoning his children. And treat him the same way they would treat this hypothetical woman.

Some women hate their ex more than they love their children, so do their utmost to drive him away.

Seriously?
why claiming she’s infertile
by claiming she’s had her tubes tied
by claiming she is on birth control

are you serious that you can not imagine any method by which a woman could intentionally get pregnant?

dem poor womenz. They can’t possibly do something like that

not being misogynist doesn’t mean taking a position that women are always in the right.

Pretty easy to judge him for leaving his dc

On what level is abandoning your children reasonable? What further details change that?

Who is my friend? I didn’t mention one.

Not gullible, just realistic. You can’t endlessly mistreat someone and expect them to keep on taking it.

Oh come on you can’t be that naive. Lying about being on contraception? Pins in condoms? It’s not that difficult is it?

Not saying that that this is what she’s done, but it shouldn’t automatically be assumed that women aren’t always the innocent victims in these situations. It’s pretty difficult to get pregnant ‘by accident’ these days.

Your friend is a trash dad and you are very gullible.

Ah well, we can agree to disagree then.

Some women, unfortunately, do this. Expect a man to put up with endless misery and mistreatment and they cry victim when he eventually gives up.

But the children know what their mothers are doing, and grow up to hate them for it. So it’s a massive own goal in the end.

My friend went through that with her husband. (He was the one making threats and false accusations to social services).

It never once occurred to her to just abandon her kids though.

How can you know about unfollowed
court orders when he did not even bother taking her to court?

Yes he should have.

Imagine trying to sound the victim when you abandoned your child without even trying to gain access.

His children likely will want nothing to do with him and they would be right not to.

Of course you should judge him.
What I don't understand is why you would completely believe anything a proven liar says. They always say their wives are horrible and they were unhappy, but most of the time it is the cheater who is the horrible one.

Too long to list but threats ,car vandalised, false claims to SS , Parental alienation calls to work police useless

as for self rep in court when they go to court and the other person doesn’t follow the court orders then you go in a massive loop back to court it’s endless .

Holy internalised misogyny Batman.

How can a woman “intentionally get pregnant”? The man plays a part in conception and can avoid impregnating a woman if he really wants to.

An unplanned pregnancy can simply be an accident or carelessness.

She might have but we don’t know. We don’t know anything about her. My point is that men who cheat always claim they weren’t happy and that their wife is awful, whether it’s true or not, so OP shouldn’t assume that it is true.

He did abandon his daughter.